


There's No One Like You For the Holidays

by unspokenfaith



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: (perhaps WITH some benefits eventually), Alternate Universe, Child Abuse, Christmas, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Holidate AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but really all of the holidays, friends without benefits, lots of chaos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unspokenfaith/pseuds/unspokenfaith
Summary: After traveling the world for four years, Kiara decides to come home permanently, just in time for a Christmas Eve dinner that makes her feel more lonely than she ever has before. JJ is looking for every excuse to escape his house on the holidays, but he ends up getting more than he bargained for. Kiara wants more commitment. JJ wants less. Somehow, the solution to both of their problems is each other.or, a Holidate AU
Relationships: JJ & John B. Routledge, JJ & Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ & Pope & John B. Routledge, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron & Kiara, minor John B/Sarah, minor Sarah/Topper
Comments: 70
Kudos: 120





	1. I'll Have a Blue, Drew Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to start out by saying you definitely do not need to have watched Holidate to read this, but if you have then you will appreciate all the references. Some things will be very similar, some will be very different. 
> 
> Also, for those who have seen the movie, you are familiar with its chaotic energy, which is honestly one of my favorite parts about it, so if you haven't seen the movie and you're thinking to yourself wtf while reading, just know the mood was very intentional.
> 
> Fair warning that there is a tiny bit of anti-immigration sentiment from some of Kiara's family members in this chapter, but nothing too crazy. Also implied abuse if you squint, but everyone who's watched the show knows. I just wanted to give a heads up!

The first winter weather warning of the season in the Outer Banks made good on its promise the night before Christmas Eve, bringing with it nearly a foot of snow and a sleek layer of black ice over pavement. 

Local news stations severely underestimated the blizzard’s impact, so after December 23, travel anywhere, much less on and off the island, became increasingly difficult. Kildare County was accustomed to hurricanes and floods, but a white Christmas wasn’t something residents saw too often. 

Many families on The Cut weren’t likely to be plowed out anytime soon, unless they brought out their shovels and took matters into their own hands. Figure Eight barely batted an eye; most of the driveways were cleared by the time they woke up the next morning. For many young children, this was the first snow they ever experienced, which drew them out of their houses and into the white covered grounds.

For Kiara, the rare snowfall brought her back to her parents house for what she already knew would be an agonizing Christmas Eve dinner. As far as she was concerned, spending the evening out on the front porch, smoking a joint, was far more worthwhile. 

She thought about calling Sarah to buy herself some time, just in case her mother already spotted her outside the window, but Kiara knew she wouldn’t answer even if she wanted to. Sarah had her own Christmas Eve dinner to worry about. 

Topper might just be Kiara’s least favorite of Sarah’s boyfriends yet, and for the same reasons she disliked him, she knew the Camerons would find him delightful. Still, she envied her friend for being spared a night of questions on her lack of a dating life.

It was the thought of seeing her Nana’s face again for the first time in over two years, that pulled her feet to the front door. If she could help it, Kiara would spend the evening talking to Nana as much as possible. Nana, who never questioned her about anything unless Kiara wanted to talk about it in the first place.

Kiara’s hand hovered over the doorbell, which always felt strange the few times she visited after spending long stretches of time halfway around the world. Only this time she was here to stay. At least until she had the money to find her own place.

But the door opened before Kiara had the chance to ring, and Anna was already pulling her into a tight hug. 

“Honey, we’re so glad you’re home.” Her voice was muffled in Kiara’s hair.

Her mother’s arms around her, and the word “home,” was almost enough to ease any apprehension she had going into the night. Almost.

“Good to see you, too, Mom,” Kiara said, finally pulling away, then gesturing to the driveway where her bags were left after getting out of the Uber. “I’m just going to bring the rest of my—”

“Were you smoking just now?” Anna’s face scrunched together, giving her a once over. 

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mom. I’m twenty-two years old. Do you think maybe we can move past the whole you-pretending-to-forget-that-I-smoke-because-it’s-convenient-for-you thing?”

Kiara waited for the sharp response or disapproving look, but Anna said nothing. Instead she opened the door all the way, beckoning her daughter into the house and removing her coat for her to hang on the rack. Either Kiara entered a parallel universe, or her mother was finally listening to her.

“With my own eyes, is that Miss Kiara?”

Her uncle appeared around the stairwell, with arms open and large brown eyes shining. Kiara couldn’t help but smile when she saw him and gladly accepted his embrace, during which he ruffled the hair on the top of her head, causing her hat to fall off in the process.

“Tommy! How are you?” she asked, removing her scarf, and dropping her bag at the bottom of the stairs. 

“How am I? Well, I’m not the one who’s been hopping all around the world, now am I? I want to hear all about it, alright?”

“Kiara, sweetie, is that what you’re going to be wearing tonight?” Anna interrupted before she had the chance to reply, glancing over her dark red turtleneck sweater and jeans.

“Mom, I literally just got off a plane.”

“Tommy, do you think you could grab the rest of Kiara’s bags? They’re out at the end of the driveway,” Anna said.

“You got it!” Tommy said, throwing a wink at Kiara, adding to her, “Little bro is in the kitchen.”

She smiled, mouthing a “thank you” as he went out the door. Bracing herself for a lecture about wardrobe choice, she instead watched as her mother moved to the window, peering out as though she was expecting a more appropriately dressed daughter to show up any second now. But Kiara wasn’t going to complain, so she made her way to the kitchen, where sure enough, her dad was in the middle of cooking dinner with the help of Tommy’s wife, Gabrielle. 

A few dishes were already lined up on the counter—roasted potatoes, glazed carrots, and a generous pile of dinner rolls. The concoction of smells made Kiara’s mouth water. She tried so many different foods in her travels, all of which were just as delicious as the last, but there was nothing quite like her father’s cooking. 

Ever the master chef, Mike stood with his back to her in front of the stove, a dish towel hanging over his shoulder, directing Gabrielle to hand him various spices from the cabinet overhead. 

“Smells good in here,” Kiara said, to which the two quickly turned around. 

Mike dropped the spatula he was holding on to the counter, mouth hanging open.

“Honey! You’re home already?”

“Nice to see you, too, Dad,” she teased.

“I just meant...with this weather...we didn’t think...another couple hours maybe...”

“I think what your father is trying to say is he’s happy to see you.” Gabrielle smiled, pulling her into a hug, and adding in a whisper, “Save me. He’s so picky.”

Kiara laughed, joining her dad by the oven, where he wrapped an arm around her and gently squeezed her shoulder.

“Is that lasagna?” she asked, observing the dish cooling on the stovetop. 

“Yes, it is! I’ve got the eggplant version in the oven now for you and Nana,” Mike said. 

“You’re the best.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Where is Nana, by the way?”

“Out in the living room with the rest of the crew.”

“Does that include the fascists?”

Gabrielle broke into a quiet fit of laughter. Mike put his hands on his hips, pressing his mouth into a thin line, though Kiara thought she saw the corners twist slightly upwards.

“Do not let your mother hear you say that,” he said, then his expression shifted entirely and he lowered his voice. “Speaking of your mother, I should tell you—”

“Kiara, sweet girl, is that you?”

The sound of Nana’s voice warmed Kiara’s heart as she approached, holding out her small arms and bringing her hands up to Kiara’s cheeks. Wrinkles lined her wide brown eyes. The same ones she gave to Tommy and her dad. The same ones she gave to her. Kiara couldn’t remember a time save once when they weren’t full of light. Losing Pop was hard on all of them. She still wasn’t sure how she made it through high school. 

“Look at you, baby,” Nana said, studying her face. The way her eyes shined nearly brought a tear to Kiara’s. Nana’s emotions were always contagious.

“I’ve missed you,” her voice cracked.

“I’ve missed you, too, sweet girl.” Nana said. “But I bet you’ve had the time of your life.”

Kiara smiled, nodding. Over Nana’s shoulder, she spotted the rest of the family in the living room, taking up just about every seat available. Aunt Julia, her mom’s sister, and Uncle George sat on the couch facing her, offering her little beyond deadpan smiles, and busying themselves with sipping from their wine glasses. 

Across from them on the other couch was Tommy and Gabrielle’s daughter, Tamara, and her longtime boyfriend, Carlos. They were whispering and laughing about something, leaving Kiara with a sudden twinge of jealousy. Four years spent traveling the world all by herself, and never once had she felt as lonely as she did now—watching Carlos rest his hand on Tamara’s leg, next to the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. 

Julia and George’s teen daughter, Lilly, relaxed in the arm chair, studying the screen of her phone she held directly in front of her face. Her younger brother, Elijah, appeared behind the chair, pulling on Lilly’s dirty blonde hair and whining. Lilly didn’t so much as turn her head, swatting his hands away, which only made him gripe more.

“Kie!” Tamara said, standing up to greet her. “God, you look so fucking good.”

One look at George’s theatrical flinch and Julia’s nervous glance towards Elijah brought a smirk to Kiara’s face. Tonight’s dinner would be uncomfortable, sure, but at least it wouldn’t be boring. 

“Thanks, Tam,” Kiara said. 

“Kiara, you probably haven’t seen it yet, but I commented on your last Insta post, the one with you at Porto da Barra,” Carlos said. “My parents aren’t too far from there. I practically grew up on that beach.”

“Oh, really? Wow, that’s cool! It was so beautiful there! Already planning on going back someday.”

“Bring me with you next time.” Nana winked, locking their arms together. 

“Mom, I’m hungry!” Elijah groaned. 

“Dinner will be ready soon, sweetheart,” Julia said, combing her fingers through his hair. 

“I’ll go see what the hold up is.” George rose from the couch and walked towards the kitchen, clutching his empty wine glass. More likely he was going in for a refill than willingly initiating a conversation with anyone from Kiara’s dad’s side of the family. She didn’t miss the way he, and the rest of the Stewarts for that matter, barely glanced in her direction when she arrived.

“Come sit!” Tamara said, patting the open cushion on the couch, which Kiara gladly accepted. 

She reached over to the platter of appetizers on the table for a cracker, scooping it in the bowl of artichoke dip. Julia eyed her like she was a dog getting into the food pantry, but when they made eye contact, forced a smile. Kiara half returned it, taking a bite of the cracker.

“So...how’s school, Lilly?” Kiara asked. Not that she particularly cared, but she would rather fill the silence on her own terms.

“It’s Lola now,” Lilly, or Lola, responded without taking her eyes off her phone.

Kiara blinked, not entirely sure what that meant.

“Okay….”

She glanced over at Tamara and Carlos, who were both stifling a knowing grin. Evidently, Kiara wasn’t the first one to encounter the Lola situation. Instead, she turned her attention to Nana, Tamara, and Carlos—the latter of the two firing questions at her like she was a contest on a gameshow, while Nana sat and listened patiently with a soft smile on her face. They were eventually joined by Tommy and Gabrielle, who were just as intrigued to hear about her travels, occasionally piping in with their own comments. 

When Mika announced dinner would be ready in ten, everyone made their way to the table. Kiara couldn’t remember the last time they had the leaf in, but even with it, they would practically be sitting on top of each other. 

Then Anna did something outrageous, even for her.

Once the family was all seated, her mom entered the dining room with a man who looked roughly around Kiara’s age. He had glasses, dark hair, and if she was underdressed, then he was overly embellished in a tie and shiny black loafers.

“Everyone, this is Drew,” Anna said brightly. “He’s going to be joining us for dinner tonight, if that’s alright.”

“She did not,” Kiara breathed with her head in her hands. Next to her, Tamara giggled.

***

JJ didn’t know how he got so lucky.

Up until receiving the notification on his phone, he was certain he would be spending Christmas Eve slumped over on the couch with a beer and store-bought cookies, watching reruns of _The Office_ —which, all things considered, he wouldn’t have really minded. Not when the alternative was going to his father’s house, where he was likely to find Luke Maybank either breaking furniture or passed out on the floor. 

But a Christmas miracle came in the form of Addison Brooks. JJ slept with her once, hadn’t really planned on, nor cared for, seeing her again. But when asked him to come over at 6:30, just before he was going to put his leftovers in the microwave, he didn’t have to think about it much before saying yes. 

Granted, he found it a little odd that someone else was lonely enough on Christmas Eve to make a booty call, but he wasn’t about to question her on it. Just because he was feeling a little sorry for himself, didn’t mean she was. He even thought about calling John B, but knew he wouldn’t answer when he would be in the middle of dinner with Uncle T. Then he thought about calling Pope, but again, knew he wouldn’t answer—too busy with the largest Heyward family gathering known to man down in Tampa. 

They both invited him, of course. But either one felt like a massive intrusion. John B and Pope protested abundantly, and JJ only got them to shut up when he assured both of them he might see what the other guys from the auto shop were up to. He didn’t, never planned to, but as long as they thought he would have some form of company for the holidays, they were satisfied. Fortunately for them, and him, he would.

Addison had sent him the address of her apartment, so he plugged it into his phone before climbing into his truck.

JJ knew Addison was a kook the moment he saw her. The perfect beach waves and gold initial necklace—the ones all the kook girls wear—were a dead giveaway. But he was not expecting his phone to take him straight into the heart of Kook Land, where there wasn’t an apartment building in sight, or anything other than mansions for that matter.

He stopped near the driveway, not in it, to park so he could check Addison’s text again. This couldn’t be right. All the lights in the house were on, a backdrop to the silhouettes moving in the windows. JJ only hoped they hadn’t noticed his wreck of a pick-up truck hiding in the shadows of the street light. 

As he was in the middle of typing a message to Addison, he heard pounding on the passenger side door and jolted up. 

“JJ! I’m so glad you made it!”

Addison’s voice was muffled through the window, but he heard her loud and clear.

Before the shock subsided and he could manage a response, she was already opening his door for him and dragging him out of the car. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, too much to make sense of, much less vocalize to the girl who was currently leading him to the front door of the house.

“Addison,” JJ said. “What the hell is going on?”

She giggled. “It had to be a surprise.”

Which answered just about nothing. 

He stopped, planting his feet firmly on the ground, so she was forced to let go of his arm.

“Seriously, Addison. Is this your house?”

“Of course it is, silly,” she said. Her smile was so wide he thought she was going to explode with Christmas cheer, or whatever she was on. “Now, let’s go!”

Addison didn’t leave him much choice in the matter, because she pushed open the door, holding his hand, and led him right into the kook mansion. 

They came out of nowhere, a man and a woman in Christmas sweaters with obnoxiously large reindeer heads—and as if that wasn’t enough—twinkly lights. Amidst all the confusion, he somehow missed that Addison was wearing one, too. The door must’ve led him into an alternate universe. Or maybe it was the gates of hell. 

“JJ! We’ve heard so much about you!” The woman said, who he guessed was Addison’s mother. She squeezed his shoulders, and it took everything in him not to slap her hands away. 

“You...you _what_?”

“Bless his heart. He’s nervous,” the father said with a chuckle. “Please, call me Henry. And my wife, here, is Sharon.”

“Hello!” Sharon waved, as though she hadn’t already made herself uncomfortably known. 

JJ looked to Addison for an explanation, but she nuzzled her head into his shoulder. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember how he ever got into bed with her in the first place. Next time, he’d like a warning sign. 

“Well, come on in, both of you!” Sharon motioned them out of the doorway and into the living room. “Now, dinner will be ready soon. Addison was just helping her father with the roast beef. I can show you to her room upstairs. And—oh! I almost forgot…”

She reached for the couch to pick up another sweater, same as theirs, and held it out to him. JJ was far past the gates now. This was the lowest circle. 

Yet he found himself completely trapped. There was nothing he could do but accept the thing, wear it, and pretend he didn’t want to run it over with a lawn mower. There was nothing he could do when Sharon led him upstairs and introduced him to Addison’s childhood bedroom, posters of One Direction hanging on every inch of the walls. And JJ really didn’t care for the way all five of them grinned at him like this was the best Christmas present he could’ve asked for. 

Once Addison entered the room, Sharon bowed out gracefully, shooting a wink in his direction, along with a, “Dinner in twenty, okay kiddos?”

Heat crept up his neck, and he thought he might actually be sick. But now that they were alone again, he turned on Addison.

“Alright, maybe I should’ve known this was too early for a booty call, but seriously, what the fuck?”

“It still could be if you want it to.” She smirked, pushing him back on the bed. 

There was something very wrong with the image before him—Addison in the world’s worst Christmas sweater, her figure outlined by J-14 magazine covers and a teddy bear larger than most dogs. 

“Addison…” 

JJ lost his train of thought as soon as she removed her sweater, and once that was gone, it’s like nothing else that happened in the last half hour even mattered, because at least he was going to get laid, after all. 

So he let her crawl onto the bed, hovering over him. He let her take his pants off, too. He even let her go down on him, while he had nowhere to look but straight into the unmoving eyes of Harry Styles. 

Definitely the lowest circle.

***

“I guess I just never understood the benefits of vegetarianism,” George said, stabbing his fork into the next bite of lasagna. “Where does the protein come in?”

“Yes, and surely there are too many vitamin deficiencies to even count,” Julia added. 

Kiara opened her mouth to respond, but paused when she caught her mother shaking her head at her. She squinted at her, scowling, wondering when the unspoken rule that allowed her aunt and uncle to speak, and no one else, had taken effect.

“Well, it’s a good thing you two aren’t vegetarians then, I suppose,” Nana said. Kiara turned her head around to meet her furtive smile. 

Julia and George simply blinked, glanced at each other, then returned to their meal. Anna gave Mike a look, but he either didn’t notice or chose to ignore it, because he continued to cut his potatoes. 

“Well, I’m not a vegetarian, but there are definitely other ways to get protein without meat.”

She had almost forgotten, or at least wanted to forget, about Drew until he spoke. And she didn’t miss the way he looked to her as soon as he said it; she just chose not to entertain it. He wasn’t doing her any favors. Anna, who moments ago wordlessly chastised Kiara for even attempting to speak on the subject, smiled at Drew, as though he offered a solution to world hunger. 

“Drew here graduated from Columbia this summer, you know?” Anna said. “And he’s going to law school next year, isn’t that right, Drew?”

“Yes! I’m working in Charlotte as a paralegal for the year, and then I’m going to Yale,” he said, like he was reciting his resume, and this dinner party was his job interview.

“So, Drew, what brought you to the Outer Banks for Christmas Eve, then?” Tommy asked. Kiara had to bite back a smile.

“Oh, my family doesn’t really do anything special for Christmas Eve. My parents have a house here, so I’m just visiting and we’ll celebrate tomorrow.”

“And you’re always welcome here, Drew,” Anna said before shooting Kiara a glare. 

Even if she wanted to talk to the guy, her mother’s desperation would’ve sucked all the fun out of it, anyway. Never in a million years would she date someone her mother set her up with. It was the principle of the thing. 

“What type of law do you hope to study, young man?” Julia asked, holding her fork like a prop instead of a utensil to eat with. 

“Immigration.”

It was like all the air had been absorbed from the room. The prop fork clattered onto the plate. Her aunt and uncle’s heads turned towards each other slowly. Mike’s eyes darted around the room, his mediation tactics already on standby. Drew shifted uncomfortably in his seat, fixing his tie. Kiara already knew the worst was yet to come. Lilly—Lola—stared at her phone in her lap, biting into a roll. Eli took up kicking Kiara’s legs under the table. 

“Not _pro_ immigration, I hope.” George laughed nervously. 

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ,” Kiara whispered, hiding her head in her hands. 

Drew swallowed loud enough for her to hear. “Just studying the law, sir. And actually, once you do, I think you’ll find—”

Anna cleared her throat, holding up her glass of wine. “Why don’t we save the politics for another night?” 

“Yeah, when the xenophobes are gone,” Kiara muttered, poking a piece of carrot with her fork. 

Several gasps erupted around the table, and suddenly everything was still. 

Maybe she wouldn’t have said it if little Eli wasn’t shoving his feet into her knees. Maybe if Carlos didn’t look physically ill with the subject matter that hit way too close to home. And maybe, just maybe, if her goddamn mother didn’t set her up on a blind date the minute she stepped foot on American soil again—on _Christmas Eve_ of all days.

Lilly-Lola finally looked up from her phone the first time all evening. Elijah stopped kicking her legs. From the looks of it, she stunned Julia and George into complete silence. Nana, Tamara, Carlos, Drew even, all looked as though they were having the most difficult time withholding from laughter.

“Kiara, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?” Anna said calmly, because it wasn’t a question.

“No thanks. I’m good.”

Mike clapped his hands together. “Okay! Who’s ready for dessert?”

“Kiara, I would like to speak with you in the kitchen. Right. Now.”

She finally turned to make eye contact with her mom. Anna’s green eyes reflected the burning anger in her own. They both knew this wasn’t just about politics anymore. 

“No, you know what, Mom? I will not go speak with you in the kitchen. Not until you explain to me why you just _had_ to bring a stranger—no offense, Drew—to our Christmas Eve dinner for...for what exactly? Just to set me up because you’re so embarrassed by the fact that I happen to be single?”

“Oh, shit,” Tamara said quietly. 

Anna stared at her, dumbfounded. Blinking a few times, she finally managed a response. 

“Honey...I’m not embarrassed by you…”

Kiara snorted. “Oh, really? Well, you couldn’t even wait five minutes, could you? You just couldn’t _wait_ to worm your way into my personal life? I mean, you’d think I was, like, the only single person in the room or something! Lill—Lola is single!”

“Actually, I have a boyfriend.” Lola was reattached to her device. “His name is Marcus and we’re in love.”

George and Julia’s mouths hung open, staring at their daughter like she just confessed to being a socialist.

“Okay, my bad,” Kiara said. “Well...Nana is single!” She gestured to Nana, who sat on the opposite head of the table from Anna. 

“Yes, indeed! And take it from me, sweet girl, you don’t need a man in your life.”

“Exactly!” She threw her arms up, nearly knocking her plate off the table. “And Eli is...well, he’s eight, but he’s still single!” Anna opened her mouth, but Kiara wasn’t finished just yet. “Just admit it, Mom! You can’t stand seeing me single and fucking happy about it!” 

“Don’t you _dare_ use that language with me, Kiara!” But her tone didn’t quite match her words, because her lip quivered, and angry green eyes glazed over with tears. 

“What language should I use with you, then? Please, do tell me how I can stop being such a disappointment to you!” 

“Kiara—”

Tamara stood up from her seat, holding Carlos’s hand. “I’m pregnant!”

Tommy spit out his drink and Gabrielle shrieked at an ear-splitting volume, “You’re _what_?”

Never had Kiara been so glad that two people had unprotected sex. 

***

There was no question about it; Addison Brooks and her family were full on kook, in every sense of the word. Not just because of their smooth marble countertops and glass chandeliers, but even more so because they were undeniably insane. And the only thing JJ could do about it, given the circumstances, was fuck Addison _again_. She might be crazy, but at least the sex was good. He had a strong feeling the two went hand in hand.

But once all the fun was over, he had to come to terms with reality again, and how he was essentially trapped in a holiday dollhouse, forced into the role of loving boyfriend. Because apparently, dinner was ready. 

He was fully prepared to bail once his clothes were back on, but somehow the thought of returning to his microwaved leftovers was more daunting than sitting down for a meal with the Nightmare Family Before Christmas. 

Turns out he was more sorry for himself than he originally thought. 

Dinner he could make it through, though. JJ didn’t even have to talk that much, partly due to the fact that he shoveled roast beef and mashed potatoes into his mouth every time one of them even looked in his direction. Mostly due to Addison answering every question for him. For a short while, he couldn’t even be bothered with the utter absurdity of it all, because for the first time in years, he was consuming a real, honest to goodness Christmas Eve dinner. 

After dinner was another battle altogether.

Just as JJ was about to excuse himself from the table, Sharon clinked her glass with a teaspoon. Addison clapped her hands, squealing with delight. 

“Present time!” Henry declared. 

JJ stared at him blankly. _They weren’t really serious._

“Addy, honey, you go first,” Sharon said, then added in a whisper as though no one else could hear, “I know how excited you are.”

Something twisted in JJ’s stomach. When Addison left the room, returning with a box, wrapped in silver ribbon, that she placed in front of him, he was pretty sure his fight or flight response was triggered. 

He laughed, because he wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do at the moment. Three pairs of eager eyes bore into him. 

“This...this isn’t for me…” JJ said.

“Of course it is, silly! Open it!” Addison squeezed his shoulder hard enough for her nails to dig into his skin. 

JJ looked at each of them in turn, stupidly hoping an out would appear to him from thin air. If there was, it wouldn’t be coming from anyone in the Brooks family. The elation spread across their faces—Sharon nodding vigorously, Henry leaning forward over the table, Addison’s breath on his neck—didn’t do much for his inner turmoil.

Cautiously, he untied the ribbon and pulled the paper apart until there was only a small white box left. Their gazes drilled into his brain, urging him to keep going. So he lifted the top off, revealing a silver chain holding—his stomach dropped—a pendant with the letters A + J. 

Here he thought he was already in the pits with the devil himself.

He swallowed a thick lump in his throat, staring at the thing, because he really just couldn’t believe it. It was so showy, so _repulsive_ , that even just holding it in his hand made his blood boil. 

“I’m sorry,” JJ said. “But what the fuck is this?”

Henry stiffened in his seat, while Sharon let out a soft, “Oh—oh, goodness.”

Addison giggled, but her lips slowly fell to a frown when he didn’t match her sentiment. “What do you mean, babe?”

“I _mean_ what the fuck is this?” He dropped it back in the box, her eyes trailing the movement. 

“Your Christmas present, of course! And now it’s your turn.”

JJ snorted, shaking his head. “Very funny.”

“It’s not _funny_ , JJ,” she said, impatience slipping into her tone. “We’re together and it’s what you do on Christ—”

“I’m sorry! _Together_? You think we’re _together_?”

“Oh, what? So you’re just going to act dumb now when you let me taste your dick not one hour ago?”

“Jesus,” JJ muttered, avoiding the wide-eyed stares from her parents, sinking into his chair. 

“Yeah! Not so Mr. Smart Guy now, are you? You don’t just get to fuck me whenever you want then act like nothing happened!” 

“What the fuck,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face, closing his eyes. Reviewing the sequence of events that brought him to this point, he realized there was nothing he could’ve done any differently. He wasn’t sure if that was comforting or not. 

“You know what? You can keep that stupid necklace! I don’t want to have a _single_ reminder of you, JJ!”

“Works for me.”

The three of them were stunned into immobility. Only their eyes followed him as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. Then he heard footsteps following him. He only turned around when he was out of the house. Addison stood in the doorway, brown eyes he once thought attractive were like dark clouds on a stormy night.

“And I’m going to tell _everyone_ how much of an asshole you are! The biggest on the island!” 

JJ flinched slightly when she slammed the door. 

Then he smiled. The title had a nice ring to it. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he felt the little white box. Briefly, he wondered just how much a kook girl spent on a simple piece of jewelry.

***

The Carrera family did what they do best—ignore all their problems, let the pile build, and have all of it come back to haunt them later. The good part about avoiding any confrontation meant that Christmas Eve festivities could continue as scheduled. The bad part about avoiding any confrontation was that Kiara was left with the same dilemma she started with—forced to spend time with some boy she never met until about two hours ago. 

She didn’t even have any regrets, really. Regardless of how the dinner transpired, politically-charged or otherwise, Kiara was going to snap at her mother. She did, however, have some empathy for Drew. He was as much a victim as she was. 

“Hey, listen,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m really sorry...about...tonight, I guess. It’s not your fault my mom’s nuts.” 

Drew laughed, watching Elijah run around the living room with two presents under his arms, then looked at her.

“You don’t need to be sorry. I would’ve done the same thing if I were you. Moms can be...difficult sometimes.”

“You can say that again.”

Kiara took a sip of wine from her glass, leaning back against the wall as everyone convened around the Christmas tree. Even Tamara and her parents managed to temporarily put the big news out of their minds for the night. She wouldn’t be surprised if Tamara got the brunt of it later when everyone was asleep or out of the house. Tension hung thick in the air, where it was likely to stay for some time.

“Hey...um…” Drew pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, too, by the way. I didn’t really know what she had planned. She knows my parents through the Island Club, so—”

“It’s okay. Really,” she said. “I don’t blame you at all. I swear.”

“Cool.” He bit his lip, like he was thinking about saying something else. “I should probably get going. But it was really nice meeting you, Kiara.”

She smiled. “It was nice meeting you, too.”

They shook hands, and Drew must’ve noticed he lingered a moment too long, because he quickly let go. He was gone as soon as he said his goodbyes to the rest of the family. 

“Men,” Nana chided, appearing by her side, but there was some warmth in her voice. She rested her head on Kiara’s shoulder and Kiara leaned into her. “Never wake before dawn, or you’ll miss the sunset.”

“Who said that?” Kiara asked.

“I did.” She smiled. 

Sometimes, Nana really was an enigma. 

“Julia, the roads are awful,” Anna said. “Are you sure you want to go now?”

“We’d be happy to have you for the night. There’s plenty of room,” Mike added.

Julia grabbed hold of Elijah’s shoulders as he ran around the room with his new Lego Ninjago Kai Fighter that Kiara’s parents gifted him. An unspoken peace offering. Or maybe an apology. 

“No, that won’t be necessary,” she said firmly. “We’re going to get this one home to bed.”

It wasn’t lost on anyone that George was already packing the car with all of the suitcases they brought earlier that afternoon. Or that Lola had already left the house without a single word to anyone, which wasn’t uncharacteristic, but still quite conspicuous. 

Once the Stewarts recited their farewells, they made their way towards the door, Julia practically dragging Elijah by the sleeve. She stopped where Kiara was leaning against the wall, reaching into her coat pocket to retrieve an envelope. 

Kiara’s first indication that this wouldn’t end well was the fact that the ink scrawled across the paper read ‘Kiera.’

“For you,” Julia said, and only after she continued towards the front door, while Elijah was screaming and struggling in her grasp, “Merry Christmas!”

On that note, Kiara decided it was time for her to go to bed. The last time she slept, she was in Salvador, Brazil, and that felt like years ago after the evening she had. So she kissed Nana on the cheek, put her glass in the sink, and made her way over to the stairs. Anna found her before she could get any further.

“Kiara, wait a second, honey,” she said, her arms behind her back.

Kiara had to keep herself from rolling her eyes, taking one foot she already had on the stairs back to the floor. She crossed her arms, barely meeting her mother’s gaze.

“I just wanted to give you an early Christmas present,” Anna said. “If that’s alright.”

She was expecting an apology, but she supposed when it came to her mother, this was the closest thing she would get. 

“Okay.” That’s all Anna was getting from her tonight.

Her mom brought her arms forward, holding out something folded, white, and fluffy. She almost made a joke about her finally getting a pet, before remembering she wasn’t dignifying her with even the smallest conversation. Anna held it out to her, so she took it, letting it fall out to reveal the most hideous bathrobe she ever laid eyes on. 

“I thought you’d need it, you know, since you might be here for a while.”

There it was—the silver lining. 

“Thanks,” was all Kiara said before she walked up the stairs to her bedroom, only putting it on after the door was closed.

Only wearing it because she happened to be freezing, and it was the most convenient option with all her other clothes packed away. When she caught herself in the mirror, all she could think was that she looked like a polar bear, and that, sometimes, she felt like her mother didn’t truly know her. 

Kiara began searching her bags for her toiletries when she heard shouting outside. It was brief, sounded like a woman, followed by the loud thud of a slamming door. Moments later, she heard a car engine start, and wheels screech against the pavement. She tried to ignore it, shuffling through all her towels and blankets to locate her toothbrush, but the noise didn’t go away.

It was pure sleep depravity, pent up rage, and impatience with her organization skills that brought her to the window facing the Brooks’ house. Peering through, she saw a battered pick-up truck near their driveway. The back wheels appeared to be stuck in the snow, because everytime the car lurched forward, it jolted to a stop. 

Eventually, a young man with messy blonde hair came out of the driver’s side, aggressively pushing the door shut. She opened the window slightly to hear him curse to himself, and already regretted it when the cold night air sank into any exposed skin. 

Kiara didn’t know why she did it, but she yelled out the window to the blonde boy stuck in the snow.

“Hey! Looks like you could use a shovel!”

He was startled, searching all directions before his eyes landed on her, leaning over the windowsill. His mouth hung open slightly, like he had never seen a human being in a house before. 

“I’m fine, actually,” Blonde boy yelled back. “Thanks for the offer though, Rapunzel.”

She snorted. “Wasn’t offering, actually. And you don’t look fine from up here.”

He wasn’t looking at her anymore, standing at the back of his truck, assessing the situation.

“Well, you caught me on a bad night,” he said. “Try me again tomorrow, and you might change your mind.”

Kiara rolled her eyes, resting her chin on her palms. “Good one. Bet that works with all the girls.”

Blonde boy shook his head, smirking, before he bent down to push snow away from the back tires. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. Besides, I’m not the one checking out some stranger’s ass from their bedroom window, am I?”

She scowled, pulling the window shut. Once he was done, he stood up, facing her again. He mouthed something, making vague hand gestures. 

So she cracked it open the tiniest bit, only just enough to hear him say, “Nice pajamas, by the way!” 

The satisfied grin on his face made her own burn. 

“Yeah, well, nice Christmas sweater.”

He either didn’t hear her, or chose to ignore her, because he got back in his truck and drove away. 

Kiara fell back on her bed, feeling something crumple underneath her. She reached into the back pocket of her jeans, pulling out the envelope from Julia. Curiosity piqued her interest, so she tore it open to find twenty bucks and a bumper sticker with an American flag that read “Land of the Free.”

Behind that was a folded receipt from Kenny’s Auto Services, the auto shop down on Main Street, dated December 24, 3:42PM. 

Her aunt bought her a nationalist-coded bumper sticker hours before Christmas Eve, and somehow that was the most normal thing to happen to her all night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I named the boy Drew just so I could have the pun for the title. What about it?
> 
> Writing this was a wild ride, and it's only going to get more wild. I promise there will be plenty of Jiara from here on out.
> 
> Also, I haven't decided yet if this will be 10 or 12 chapters, but I should know for sure by the time the next one is posted.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! :)


	2. Here Comes the Jackpot Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year's Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is from the song "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" (originally by Ella Fitzgerald) in case anyone was wondering. 
> 
> I know literally nothing about cars, and I was purposely vague in the first scene where they're all in the garage, so let's just roll with it.
> 
> There is a large abundance of Jiara banter this chapter, like I'd say 90% of it is literally just them going back and forth. I'd apologize but I don't think that's really necessary.

JJ wasn’t going to tell John B and Pope about Addison and his Christmas Eve in Kooklandia, but the cat left the bag once the goddamn necklace fell out of the pocket of his coveralls. The one he was going to return once he was off of work. He explained this. John B and Pope laughed to the point where they were teary-eyed and red in the face. JJ allowed them to have their moment of fun, revel in it. Hell, if this happened to either of them, he’d be laughing, too. 

But he had to intervene eventually. Set the record straight. The last thing JJ felt like doing was reliving the night of terror, yet he found himself lying underneath the belly of a Jeep Wrangler with a wrench, explaining to his friends the story of, quite possibly, the worst hook-up in history, and how he ended up with a dog collar and a newly acquired distaste for kook girls.

“Here I thought my Christmas was crazy,” Pope said. 

“You have no idea, man.”

“So Abigail really thought you guys were, like, dating? Like a full on relationship?” John B asked.

JJ slid out from under the car on the creeper. “Her name was Addison. And yes. Can you pass me that screwdriver?” 

John B turned around, picked up the screwdriver off the bench, and handed it to JJ. 

“And you’re sure you never said anything to give her the wrong idea?” Pope asked. “Weren’t you drunk that first time?”

JJ narrowed his eyes at him, brows furrowed. “Why would I ever do that? Come on, man. At least have _some_ faith in my non-committal tendencies.”

“You’re right!” Pope held his hands up defensively. “How dare I suggest you’d ever be boyfriend material.”

“Thank you, Pope.” 

Then Kenny walked in, with his brown bagged breakfast and medium paper coffee cup from the gas station convenience store across the street, holding out a hand in greeting to Jackson and Randy, who were working on the next car over from JJ. When he turned in JJ’s direction, JJ pretended to be busy, while John B and Pope looked around like they were the average, clueless customer. 

“Morning, JJ,” Kenny said, then nodded to the others. “John B, Pope.” His eyes darted back to JJ, warm but stern. “Working hard, I hope. Owen’s coming by at noon to pick it up.”

“Yes, sir.” JJ saluted, waiting for Kenny to leave before sharing a furtive look with the boys. 

“Hey, Pope, when do you head back to Florida again?” John B asked. 

“Uh,” Pope said. “Like the day after New Year’s, I think.”

“Well, what are we doing then?” He leaned his arm on the side of the Jeep, before quickly realizing his mistake and shifting his stance. 

“What do you mean ‘what are we doing?’” Pope quirked a brow. 

“Like for New Year’s,” he said. “Come on! It’s not too often we have you here, Pope.”

“What, like, party at the Boneyard?” JJ snorted. 

As much as he was joking, he had to admit he missed their high school days. The Boneyard was their designated spot for drinking, getting laid (or at least in JJ’s case), and generally making assholes of themselves. It was a simpler time. Plus, Pope wasn’t in grad school, so he was always around. Nowadays, JJ had a bone to pick with the responsibilities attached to adulthood. 

“No, man,” John B said. “We could hit up the Gray Gull down by the marina. I know Reggie pretty well. We could probably even get in for free.”

JJ shrugged. “Sure. Fine with me.”

While Pope argued with John B about the benefits and drawbacks of going out on New Year’s Eve, a young woman with dark curly hair and large brown eyes walked into the garage, looking very out of place in her tan fleece jacket—JJ thought maybe they’re called teddy bear coats, or something—and one of those scarves that looked as though it could swallow someone whole. But something about her was familiar. 

“Hi! Excuse me,” teddy-bear-jacket-woman said, looking right at JJ. “Do you know where I can return something?”

JJ sat up on the creeper, eyeing the sticker in her gloved hand, and smirked. “What, that?”

“Um, yes.” She blinked. “Is that a problem?”

John B’s and Pope’s eyes flashed back and forth between them. 

“No, I don’t think so,” JJ said. “Just never had someone return something that’s, like, a dollar-fifty before. That’s all.”

She raised a brow at him. “I’m sorry. Do you work here?”

JJ studied her for a moment, squinting. Maybe it was the pure look of disgust, or the coat that he now found reminiscent of her attire she donned when he first saw her, but either way, it suddenly hit him. 

“You’re that girl I saw in the window,” he said. “Christmas Eve. You had that...that robe on that made you look like a poodle.” 

John B coughed out a laugh and Pope elbowed him in the arm. She glared at them before turning back to JJ. 

“Oh, yes, I remember now,” she said, smiling. “You were stuck in the snow, and you had that horrendous Christmas sweater on. I mean, really. That thing was criminal.” 

He laid back on the creeper, sliding under the car again so only his head stuck out, and muttered, “Wasn’t really my idea.”

The girl crossed her arms, looking at him expectantly. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Can I return this or…”

“Yeah, sure.” JJ put the screwdriver down and pushed himself up, holding out his hand. “That’ll be a dollar-fifty, please.”

She glanced from him to John B and Pope, as though they held a better offer, then back to him. Something about her brown eyes, full of judgment, turned his insides out. JJ didn’t care for the look, got it all the time, but something about hers put all his senses on high alert. 

“What...that’s it?”

“Yep,” he said. “Cash only, please.”

She snorted, turning to poke through her bag. Upon retrieving her wallet, she took out the exact change and handed it to JJ, along with a folded receipt and the bumper sticker. When he saw which one it was, he laughed. 

“What, you don’t like freedom?” 

“I do, actually,” she said. “But not the kind that sticker represents.”

“Interesting.”

Rolling her eyes, she adjusted her purse on to her shoulder. “Well, thanks, JJ. You’ve been very helpful.”

“How did you—oh.” He glanced down at his name emblazoned on the breast pocket of his coveralls. “Well, I think it’s only fair I know your name, then.”

She shot him a glare, opened her mouth to respond, when Kenny appeared beside them. He took a sip from his coffee, resting a hand on the hood of the Jeep. 

“Working hard there, are you, JJ?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied, quickly picking up the wrench and screwdriver from the floor. Kenny shook his head, but his old eyes held only quiet amusement. As though noticing the girl for the first time, he straightened. 

“Can I help you with anything, miss?” 

“Oh, not at all. I was just going actually. But thank you,” she said, her brisk tone entirely unfamiliar to JJ. Her eyes were something else when they weren’t analyzing his every move. 

“You know,” Kenny said, waving a finger. “You must be Evelyn Carrera’s granddaughter.”

“How—how did you know?” she asked, blinking. 

“Spitting image. We went to Kildare County High together. She and my...ex wife were best friends.”

She beamed at that, her face glowing. Tucking her hair behind her ear, JJ could swear this was a different girl altogether from the one he met on Christmas Eve. Although, regardless of the setting, she seemed very attached to outlandish winter wear. 

“I’ll tell her I ran into you,” she said. “Thank you.”

Kenny smiled. “Yes, please do.”

One last glance from her brown eyes, which seemed to bristle automatically at his presence, and then she was gone. Kenny gave him another firm reminder about the Jeep, then disappeared into his office again. JJ almost forgot Pope and John B were with him until he turned to meet both of their gawking stares. 

“What?”

“You neglected to mention _that_ part of the story,” Pope said, gesturing with his head to where the girl previously stood.

“Yeah, dude,” John B said. “You might’ve struck out with Addison, but man….”

“Shut up.” JJ shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll see you guys, later. I should finish up here.”

He didn’t miss the look the two boys exchanged before they both patted him on the back and left the garage for JJ to go back to work. Shoving the cash and bumper sticker into his pocket, he lowered himself back onto the creeper.

 _Carrera_. It was something, at least.

***

When it came to Sarah Cameron, you rarely got what you asked for, but always what you were expecting. So Kiara knew the moment she called her best friend and asked if she wanted to come with her to go downtown in order for her to return a few things, she knew Sarah would turn it into an afternoon shopping trip. Didn’t ask for it, but braced for it nonetheless. She was constantly in awe of Sarah’s uncanny ability to hop from store to store, finding exactly what she needed (or, what she _thought_ she needed at least) before Kiara had the chance to check a single price tag. 

Kiara reunited with Sarah outside of Chloe’s Boutique and Gifts, where she accumulated a wealth of bags, yet didn’t appear bothered in the slightest with the extra weight to carry. But she did drop them to join Kiara on the bench right outside the shop. 

“You’ve been busy,” Kiara said. 

Sarah waved a hand dismissively. “Just a few things. How’d it go over there?” She nodded in the direction of Kenny’s. 

Kiara shrugged, her mind drifting to coveralls. “It went.”

“I can’t believe you actually returned a bumper sticker. A _sticker_ , Kie.” She laughed, digging through her purse and pulling out a box of altoid mints. “Want one?”

“No, thanks,” Kiara said, while Sarah popped one into her mouth. “I’m not going to just throw it away though, am I? Julia put the receipt in there. Might as well use it. Besides, some redneck with a pick-up truck will buy it someday.”

“So charitable,” Sarah said. “Now, will you let me buy you some clothes? You know, since you’re going to be here for a while.”

“Sarah, I have plenty of clothes.”

“Yeah, but those are, like, traveling-the-world clothes. You need now-I’m-a-boring-ass-American-again clothes. I bet you don’t even have any shoes anymore besides your vans and the boots you’re wearing.”

“Not true!” Kiara instinctively tucked her feet under the bench. 

“Sure,” Sarah said. “Come on, Kie! Please! I wanted this to be my Christmas present to you. I won’t even go crazy, if you don’t want me to. Maybe just a sweater or two….a dress for New Year’s Eve...some—”

“Woah, woah, woah! What do you mean, ‘a dress for New Year’s?’”

“The Island Club party...New Year’s Eve...I swear I texted you about this,” she said.

“Sarah, I’m not going to a party where I’m going to be third wheeling you and Topper all night.”

“You won’t be! Scarlet will be there, and—”

“You do realize you’re the only person I’ve talked to in the past four years, right?” 

“Perfect chance to get reacquainted with everyone, then.” Sarah smiled.

And because Sarah always got what she wanted in the end, Kiara found herself following her down the street, visiting every clothes shop in the vicinity. She couldn’t complain, though. Not when she couldn’t remember the last time she went shopping with her best friend. The simple routine of it all was surprisingly comforting, like reteaching herself how to surf when she hadn’t hit the waves in months. 

Sarah was true to her word, buying Kiara a cream cable knit sweater, a pair of nice boots that weren’t worn out by mountain trekking, and a dress for New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t her first choice, but Sarah insisted it was made for her, and she wasn’t about to argue with the expert. 

Somehow, a couple hours passed, and Kiara was suddenly aware of how much her feet ached from standing idly while Sarah thumbed through hangers. She even almost forgot about the hideous bathrobe she needed to return before her shift at The Wreck. It might hurt her mother’s feelings, but she couldn’t see the point in keeping something she would never wear. 

“Hey, I’m going to stop by Island Haven. I have to return this,” Kiara said, gesturing to her reusable shopping bag where she managed to squeeze the robe inside. “Are you going to stay here?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” Sarah held a short burgundy dress up to her front, looking in the mirror. “Have fun.”

When she got to Island Haven, there was a small rush, but with multiple cashiers, she was able to get to the front of the line in no time. A chipper woman with a rounded bob cut greeted her, accepting the bathrobe on the desk, and reached for the scanner.

“Oh, no. Sorry, I’m actually returning this,” Kiara said.

The woman’s retail smile faltered slightly. “Do you have the receipt, ma’am?”

“Uh...no. I didn’t think you required one.”

“New policy, I’m afraid.”

Kiara ran a hand over her face, closing her eyes momentarily. “Okay, well, is there anything else I can do? This was a gift, and, uh, it just doesn’t really fit, so I was kind of hoping…”

“By chance, did you get any Christmas presents you _liked_ this year?”

The startlingly familiar voice came from behind her in the form of one previously ugly Christmas sweater, irritating, blonde boy, presently coveralls, still irritating, JJ. The hint of his smirk—always just a hint—made her eyes narrow.

“If you don’t mind, I’m actually in the middle of something,” she said. 

“So sorry. Please continue.” JJ gestured to the desk, and the cashier woman who was frozen on the spot, eyes darting between the two. 

“Oh, really? I have your permission? Thank you.” She rolled her eyes, turning back around, blocking him from her sight, and to the woman, “Sorry. As I was saying, is there any way we could work something out? I don’t even need the full amount—”

“I apologize, ma’am. But if you don’t have the receipt, there is nothing I can do.”

“Shit,” JJ said from behind her, and Kiara only just noticed the silver necklace dangling from his hand. “You need a receipt?”

“Well…” The cashier hesitated, unsure of just who she was assisting at the moment. “Yes, I’m afraid so, sir.”

“Damn it.”

Kiara ignored him, offering a smile to the bob cut woman. “Well, I’m sorry that I wasted your time. Thank you! You’ve been very helpful.” 

She left the store swiftly, tucking the robe back into her bag. It was probably better she added it to her clothes donation pile she had building in her closet anyway. Regardless, she wasn’t going to wear her mother’s half-assed apology. 

Kiara was on her way back to the dress shop to retrieve Sarah, when she heard the door behind her close, followed by a, “Hey! Wait a second!” She stopped in her tracks, scowling quietly before she turned around to face him.

“You just can’t leave me alone, can you?” 

“Hey, I work here,” JJ said, nodding in the direction of the auto shop. “Not looking so good for you, is it?”

“Whatever, stalker. Don’t you have to go back to work or something?”

“Nah, I’m off for the day.”

“Lucky me!” Kiara started walking, but his footsteps followed hers until he was right beside her.

“So I take it you didn’t have a very holly jolly Christmas?” He smirked.

“What ever gave you that impression?” She glanced over at him just as he slipped the necklace back into his pocket. “You know, your night didn’t seem all that great either.”

He snorted. “You can say that again.”

His honesty caught her off guard, as she fully expected him to keep the momentum rolling. But there was more than mild annoyance in his voice. It almost made her curious enough to ask, not that she ever would. 

“Well, can’t be as bad as having dinner with neo-Nazis, a pregnancy out of wedlock announcement, and being set up on a surprise blind date by your own mother.”

“Ouch,” JJ said, laughing. “Try your one-time hookup tricking you into coming over to meet the family because apparently you’re in a committed relationship.”

Turned out she didn’t have to ask, after all.

“I’d say we’re even,” she said, although the delay in her response betrayed her shock. “But why would you even go over in the first place? It’s Christmas Eve.”

For whatever reason, that was what finally got him to shut up. Not that she was complaining, but noting the jaw clench and distant look in his eyes, she sort of felt like she said something wrong. Like she struck a nerve.

“So you can’t get a date for yourself then, is that it?” The smile returned to his lips, mischief playing across his features. 

Kiara stopped walking, her mouth dropping open. “I’ll have you know, I’ve gotten _plenty_ of dates on my own just fine. But I suppose you’re some self-proclaimed Romeo.”

“You know, that actually hurts my feelings,” he said, a hand over his chest. “I don’t do any of that soppy romantic shit.”

“That actually explains so much.”

Before JJ had the chance to respond, Sarah came out of the dress shop, yet another bag in tow. Somehow, she carried all of them on two arms while still managing to walk at a normal pace. She set them down once she reached Kiara, flipping her hair out of her face.

“There you are! I thought you were coming right back. I stood in there for so long, I—” Sarah stopped, giving JJ a once over. “Kie, who’s this?”

What Kiara did not appreciate was the way the corners of Sarah’s mouth crept slowly upwards. She knew that look anywhere. Practically lived with it.

“ _Key_? As in the thing you use to lock a door?” JJ asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Kiara, actually. Sarah, this is...JJ. He’s just leaving, actually.” Turning towards him, she forced a smile. “Bye, JJ! It was great meeting you.”

“What are you doing New Year’s Eve, JJ?” Sarah asked, eyes shifting in her direction, and Kiara thought she might’ve killed her right then and there. 

JJ blinked. “Uh...well, I’m—”

“Great! You should totally come with us to the Island Club party,” Sarah said. “I have a date, but I’m sure Kie here would love the company.”

Kiara shook her head slowly, staring her down with wide, pleading eyes. Predictably, Sarah temporarily ignored her existence, instead waiting on JJ. 

“Well, I mean...my friends and I were—”

“Oh my God! Bring them along, too! The more the merrier, right?” Sarah shot her a wink that Kiara was almost certain anyone else would’ve missed. Then she searched her purse, pushing all its contents around. “You know, I can’t find my phone. Kie, can you text him the details?”

The only thing worse than Sarah setting her up was that Kiara was actually playing along. She wasn’t sure why she took out her phone and asked for JJ’s number—ignoring the much too satisfied look on his face—but she did it anyway. Sometimes, Sarah’s influence was just too powerful. 

“This is so exciting!” Sarah said, picking up her bags, and began walking. “Come on, Kie! We don’t want the dresses to get wrinkled.” 

“Can you stop looking like you’re just waiting to get into my pants or something?” Kiara said hotly, after Sarah was out of earshot.

“Trust me. I’m really not,” JJ said, patting her on the shoulder, and she quickly recoiled. Once he turned to leave, he yelled back, “See you New Year’s Eve, Kie!” 

Kiara went rigid, his words sinking deeper into her skin than anticipated. With a huff, and a sudden rush of heat creeping up her cheeks in spite of the late December air, she went to follow her friend to the car.

***

If past JJ knew he’d be spending another holiday with yet another kook girl in just a short week’s time, he’d probably kick present day JJ in the balls. Maybe then he’d stop using them to make his decisions for him. 

Not that he wanted to sleep with Kiara Carrera. His intentions were entirely pure, which is to say he didn’t have any intentions for the night to begin with. He was simply here for the ride. Kiara sure made it difficult for him, though, when she showed up in a tight black dress, cut just low enough to draw his attention, while also leaving a lot to the imagination. 

“Eyes up here, Romeo,” Kiara said, one eyebrow raised as she studied him. “You clean up nice.”

JJ shrugged. If only she knew how old the suit was and how many Maybanks wore it before him.

“So do you.” He resisted the urge to lower his gaze, clearly failing because Kiara reached over to lift his chin. Now facing John B and Pope, he formally introduced them.

It didn’t take much convincing to drag the other two boys along. As soon as he mentioned the words “Island Club” and “free,” John B was sold. Pope was skeptical at first, until he realized this was the perfect opportunity to put his grad school interview attire to good use again. Besides, there wasn’t much he could do once JJ and John B made up their minds. 

“So you’re…” Kiara pointed to John B, hesitating.

“John B,” he said. “JJ’s roommate and accomplice.”

“And you’re…” Now pointing to Pope.

“Pope. Barely associated with them.”

“Aww! Your friends love you, JJ,” she said. 

Then Sarah joined the group, arm in arm with a tall, blonde guy who looked like he spent too many hours a day playing golf or tanning—probably both. Presumably her date. She stuck out a hand, greeting both Pope and John B in turn, her hand and eyes lingering on the latter before quickly pulling away. JJ caught his friend scratching the back of his neck, biting his lip. Sarah’s date must’ve missed it, though, because he looked everywhere but at the three Island Club outcasts, hands shoved into his pockets. 

Even when Sarah introduced him as her boyfriend, Topper, they all offered a “hello,” while Topper managed nothing more than a nod. Sarah rolled her eyes, excusing them before leading him over to the booze. 

“Sorry about him. He’s…” Kiara trailed off.

“A dick?” Pope offered.

“Aw, Pope said the d-word.” JJ took a sip from his glass. Pope glared at him.

“Actually, to be honest, yeah,” she said. 

“You don’t approve?” John B was a little too eager for casual conversation’s sake. 

“Not really.” Kiara shrugged. “Don’t tell her I said that, though.” 

“I don’t know. If he’s anywhere near as charming as you are after the first meeting, I might have to give him a chance,” JJ said. She swatted at his arm, but he could’ve sworn she smiled, too. 

John B’s gaze flickered between the two. “Pope, let’s go get drinks.”

“But I already have one.” Pope held up his glass.

“Let’s go get you another one.” John B put a hand on his shoulder, steering him towards the table with Pope protesting all the way. 

“I like your friends,” Kiara said, watching them leave.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

“Oh, shut up.” 

JJ observed the room, suddenly very aware of the fact that he had never been surrounded by so many kooks in his life. All the civilized behavior, noses turned up in the air, and the stench of hair gel made him think he was better off with John B’s original plan for the night. But there was something amusing about it, too—the way they all mimicked each other’s movements. One woman with shoulder length blonde hair whispered to another woman with dark hair piled on top of her head, then they both threw their heads back, roaring with laughter. JJ would bet the joke wasn’t even that funny.

“This feels more like a wedding than a New Year’s party,” JJ said. “And I’ve never been to a wedding, but this is exactly what I picture a wedding to be like.”

Then Kiara surprised him by laughing, her drink shaking in her hand.

“Give it a while,” she said. “Not everyone here is young enough to stay up to midnight.”

“So, what? They come out here for a drink or two then dip once it hits ten o’clock?” 

“Pretty much.”

“What’s the fun in that?”

“Most people here don’t know the meaning of the word fun.” Kiara sat down in a nearby armchair, and JJ found himself miming her by occupying the seat next to her. Then she leaned over, whispering, “You see that man over there? The one with the navy suit and the Elvis Presley hair? His wife divorced him like a year ago. He comes to all these events and hits on women that are half his age, usually just by staring at them.”

“Has he done that with you?” JJ asked. 

“Yep,” she said. 

“Shall I do the honors of punching him in the face? Or whatever it is you kooks do. Challenge him to a duel?”

Kiara laughed, shaking her head. He thought he could get used to the sound. 

“You know, for someone who hates ‘soppy romance shit,’ that was pretty cheesy.”

“I’ve been known to dabble in the occasional cheese,” he said. “What about you? Are you a cheese girl?”

“Well….” Kiara leaned back against the chair. “I guess so, yeah. I think if you ask any girl, they want to be swept off their feet. Wooed. The whole package. Whatever. But I think real life doesn’t always live up to our expectations. Like all those rom coms? Fun to watch, but come on. When is Heath Ledger ever going to get up in a soccer field and serenade you?”

“Wasn’t Heath Ledger Batman?” 

“Not the point,” she said. “It all looks good when you watch it on T.V., but seriously, if Heath Ledger asks you out, you’re not going to turn him down.”

“You know, for someone who doesn’t like these movies, you sure know a lot about them.” JJ smirked, taking a large sip of his drink. 

“It’s _one_ movie!” she protested. 

All that, and somehow JJ thought he knew Kiara Carrera even less than before. 

***

Maybe it was the champagne, but Kiara was actually getting along with JJ. Half the things he said, and how he said them, still made her skin crawl. But she found herself relaxing her shoulders more, laughing more, and she wasn’t so sure that was a good thing. 

By the time she checked her phone, nearly an hour had passed and her glass was empty. As predicted, a portion of the older guests filed out, replaced by a new onslaught of eager college grad, trust fund morons. She excused herself, telling JJ she would be back after she got another drink. 

The crowd was wilder now as the time pushed closer to midnight—less than an hour away. Kiara squeezed by a pair of boys who she thought might’ve been Rafe, Sarah’s older brother, and his friend Kelce. She didn’t turn around to confirm, though. Her high school memories of Rafe were all unpleasant. If he saw her here, there wasn’t much of a chance he would leave her alone. 

Finally reaching the drink table, she set down her empty glass on a tray and picked up a new one. A tall figure loomed next to her as she took a sip.

“Kiara?”

“Drew!” She pulled a smile, lowering her glass. “It’s nice to see you!”

“You too,” he said, his eyes dropping briefly, but returned to her face before she even had time to process the motion. “I didn’t know you would be here tonight.”

“Yeah, well, neither did I.”

“Your mom didn’t make you come, did she?” Drew laughed.

“No, not this time.” Kiara went to pick up her drink again, prepared to leave. But he didn’t shift, resting his hand on the edge of the table. “Well—”

“How was the rest of your Christmas?” he asked. “After I ruined it, I guess.”

“Oh, no! You didn’t ruin it.” She waved a hand dismissively. “It was fine. How was yours?”

Kiara figured his response was much of the same. _Oh, it was good. Thank you!_ And she couldn’t bring herself to listen for long. He didn’t deserve it, but once he stopped, she politely excused herself, slipping through the crowd back to JJ.

“Thought you were coming back with a keg or something,” JJ said.

“What? Oh—” She forgot why she even left him in the first place. “Can you stand up for a second?”

His brows furrowed, and he replied slowly, “Okay...”

Kiara grabbed his arms as soon as he stood up, wrapping them around her waist. His eyes widened, searching hers for an explanation. 

“Uh, what—”

“Shut up,” she said. “Just pretend like we’re a couple.” 

He blinked several times. “Why?”

“Because the guy my mother set me up with on Christmas is here, and I think he has a crush on me, or something.”

“And this is bad?”

“Yes, it’s bad!” Kiara put her arms around his neck, and she could almost hear his heart beat. “Just go with it for a minute, okay?”

A smirk played on his lips. “And you couldn’t just tell the guy you’re not interested?” 

“Don’t act like you’re the relationship guru now.”

They stayed like that for longer than she originally planned, though her arms eventually slipped down so she could more comfortably hold her glass. At one point, Sarah walked by with Topper, giving them an odd, knowing look, that Kiara was positive she would have to answer to later. 

Eventually, they made their way over to the drinks table again, luckily where Drew was nowhere in to be found. She never saw him after she left him, but hoped he saw her and sent a clear message. 

When she picked up another glass, it occurred to her she didn’t know what number she was on now, or the last time she even had this much to drink. But she knew it was sometime, somewhere in another country where it was easier to forget her limits. 

Kiara smiled, watching everyone dance and shout over the music. “I love this song.”

“You do?” JJ gave her a funny look, and for a moment she wondered how her face must’ve appeared. 

“Let’s dance,” she said, dragging him with her out to the floor before he could respond. After putting both their glasses down, she rested her hands on his shoulders and closed her eyes, swaying back and forth. When she didn’t feel him reciprocate, she opened them again to meet his stifled grin. “What is so funny?”

“Not exactly a slow song,” he said.

“Well, I’m not grinding on you if that’s what you’re hoping for.” Kiara let go of him to remove her shoes, then used his arm to steady herself while she climbed up on the table. JJ observed with the corner of his mouth quirked upwards, like he was watching a child figure out how to stand for the first time.

“Enjoying the view, are you?” She giggled, and hated the sound of it as soon as it left her mouth. A small crowd accumulated around the table, cheering and hollering, while she threw her arms up, and jumped around. JJ’s mop of blonde hair became her focal point as she spun around until she felt herself getting dizzy.

_“Five!”_

Kiara thought she heard JJ say something over all the shouting and the music, but it was indistinguishable amongst the louder voices, counting down. 

_“Four!”_

Then she felt something near her foot tip over and break—maybe a glass.

_“Three!”_

At the same time, she started to fall herself.

 _“Two!”_

All the colors and the sounds blended together around her as she braced for the impact. 

“ _One!”_

But then a pair of arms caught her around her middle—JJ—and in the exact moment she began hearing fireworks, something on her ripped. 

After he let her down, a small chorus of “ooh’s” brought her attention to her thigh, where a tear in the fabric nearly came up to her hip, and she quickly brought her hand to cover it.

“Shit,” Kiara said, but instead of hot shame creeping up her neck, she laughed. 

***

Leading Kiara outside to the Uber, holding her shoes in one hand, JJ wondered if this was how John B and Pope felt every time he was blackout at the Boneyard. It wasn’t an ideal situation, being in charge of a girl who probably didn’t know left from right at the moment, but he couldn’t find Sarah, or any of her friends for that matter. So he took it upon himself to get her home before she did anything else stupid. 

“If you look up my skirt right now, I’ll...I’ll…” 

“Yeah, yeah. I got it,” he said, checking the map on the Uber app, watching the dot for the car come closer. 

“And don’t even _think_ about getting any ideas, pal. I’ll have you know I’m a black belt in ass-kicking.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

She squinted at him, crossing her arms with a huff. It was quite the sight—Kiara standing her ground while her ripped dress left almost an entire leg exposed. He might’ve laughed if he didn’t think she would bring out the claws. 

As the Uber approached, Kiara kept muttering to herself about “perverts” and “trust fund pricks” until he guided her into the back seat. Then he walked around to the other side to join her, placing her shoes in the middle. He sent a quick text to John B and Pope while he thought of it: _Had to go. I’ll explain later_. 

She hummed to herself, looking out the window, and played with the torn fabric on the end of her dress. JJ tried not to stare at her bare thigh. He removed his jacket and placed it over her leg, only because she appeared to have goosebumps. When she turned around, she looked as though she was about to chide him again, but her expression softened and the words never came. Then she faced the window again, running her hand along the jacket. 

The Uber driver, Pietro, switched the radio station, and “Don’t Know Why” by Norah Jones was playing.

“Oh, not this,” Kiara mumbled, resting her chin on her palm.

“You don’t like Norah Jones?”

“You _do_?” 

JJ shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”

“She’s not really my style. It’s just so...depressing,” she said. “I’m more of a Marley girl.”

“Huh, interesting. Not what I would’ve pegged you as.”

“Don’t think about pegging me.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he said. “But sure, whatever you say.”

“I make so much sense,” she said quietly, but it seemed to be more to herself than anyone else, because she continued to stare out the window. 

JJ drummed his fingers on his leg, allowing the silence while they drove by all the kook mansions. Briefly, he was reminded of Addison and Christmas Eve night, but shook the thought away before it latched on and grew into something bigger. He wondered how long it would take for it all to become a distant memory he could laugh at like John B and Pope did. 

“You know, we should do this again sometime,” he said, without really thinking about it.

Kiara turned around, raising a brow. “What? Like, the Island Club thing?”

“Hell no! I meant, like, this holidate thing. Kind of saves us both the trouble, doesn’t it?” 

“Uh, this wasn’t a date,” she said.

“It kind of was. Come on, Kie. Think about it! You don’t have to worry about your mom, or the fact that you’re single—”

“I’m perfectly happy being single, thanks.”

“—Sure. And I don’t have to worry about all the Addisons of the world. It’s a win-win situation. No hassle. No stress.”

Kiara pressed her lips together, studying him. The fact that she wasn’t immediately arguing was a start at least. 

The Uber stopped outside of her house. 

“Just think about it,” JJ said. “Maybe Valentine’s Day?”

“I’ll have a date for Valentine’s Day, so don’t worry about me.” Kiara smiled, patting his knee, and tossed his jacket back on to his lap. “Thanks for the ride, though. You can split the fare with me.”

She grabbed her shoes, said thank you to Pietro, and closed the door behind her. JJ watched her walk in a zig-zag line up to the front door, waiting until she was inside. He leaned forward to give Pietro the address to his house, hoping John B wasn’t already back, because he planned on falling into bed as soon as he stepped through the door. The questions could wait until tomorrow. 

It was a ridiculous idea. He knew it as soon as he said it aloud. But the word “holidate” sort of had a ring to it. If nothing else, that had to count for something. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have to stan drunk Kie. She's an absolute fool, but we love her anyway. 
> 
> We have to stan protective JJ, too. They're both clowns who have no idea what's coming.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! :)


	3. Will You Be Mine, in the Box Office Line?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know the title's cheesy. This fic thrives on the cheese factor.
> 
> This is definitely one of the more filler chapters, but some good relationship development for JJ and Kie so I guess that sort of makes up for it?
> 
> Also, this is your official Rafe Cameron trigger warning.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The only reason Kiara downloaded the Tinder app was because Sarah suggested it. It wasn’t because it was a week before Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t because she felt pressured to actually have plans on said Valentine’s Day for the first time since high school. And it definitely wasn’t because she started to feel the slightest bit lonely. 

According to Sarah, Tinder single-handedly saved her dating life while attending Chapel Hill. After all, Tinder was responsible for her first _real_ boyfriend (for Sarah, nothing in high school counted). Jeremy was a solid guy. At least, he appeared that way from his profile, which stated that he played tennis, spoke Italian as a second language, and was a huge animal lover. Sarah, of course, was sold on the shirtless photo of him holding a dog. Needless to say, he asked her out to dinner. They had sex a week later—Sarah’s first time—and she felt the need to date him for six months because of it. But he cheated on her for four of them, which didn’t exactly reassure Kiara that this was the right course of action.

She gave it a few days, though. Just to say she really tried. Kiara spent those few days swiping left so much it became muscle memory. Then she came across Savannah. Twenty-four years old. Korean. Long, wavy, dark hair. But it was the image of her holding her surfboard in front of a burnt orange sunset that brought Kiara to a pause, ending her left swipe streak. She didn’t think about it long before sending her a message, and was surprised at how swiftly she responded. Even more surprised at how well they hit it off.

“She asked me out,” Kiara said, wiping down the recently abandoned table next to Sarah and Topper, placing empty plates and silverware on the tray. For a Saturday afternoon, The Wreck was surprisingly quiet, even in the off season. 

Sarah’s eyes widened, rushing to finish chewing her cheeseburger to respond. Topper might as well have not been there, absentmindedly dipping his fry in ketchup. Kiara didn’t mind, though. Better that than him giving any input into her dating life. 

“Is this that surfer girl you’ve been talking to?” Sarah asked, leaning forward over the table. 

“Savannah, yeah.”

She looked at Kiara expectantly. “Well? Details! When’s this happening?”

“Tuesday night.”

“Holy shit,” Sarah said. “Valentine’s Day?”

Kiara nodded, adding glasses to the tray, along with the plastic straws she had been demanding her father get rid of ever since she returned. 

“Kie! I want to be a fly on the wall so bad. But—”

“We’ll be back in Wilmington. I have something special planned,” Topper said, taking her hand.

Sarah smiled at him, squeezing his hand, before turning her attention back to Kiara. 

“I want to know _everything_. We’ll have to FaceTime Wednesday.”

“Yeah, of course!” 

Kiara carried the tray back behind the counter, leaving it by the sink, then returned to the dining area. Something heavy settled into her stomach. She was excited for Tuesday. Savannah seemed really cool from the few conversations they had. Similar sense of humor and all. But something about telling Sarah made it more real, like there was more at stake now. If it crashed and burned, she couldn’t just shrug and move on. 

Then she saw Topper kiss Sarah’s forehead, and her lean on his shoulder, and Kiara knew she was desperate when Topper of all people instilled jealousy in her. 

When Kiara graduated high school, there was nothing she looked forward to more than claiming her independence. Even now, she had no regrets about how she spent the last four years. Wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. But if she learned anything when she was thousands of miles away from home, it was that independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. There was something missing. She wanted it. Craved it in her one night stand with the girl from that Scottish pub, with the guy who introduced her to the Australian surf. It was always just a flicker that never saw the light of day. 

“Hey, what ever happened to that guy from New Year’s?” Sarah asked. “The one with the blonde hair? Worked at the auto shop? Really hot?”

Topper straightened, folding his hands together over the table. “Who?”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Relax.”

“What? You mean JJ?” Kiara said. She leaned on the counter, crossing her arms. 

“Yes, JJ! Do you guys still talk?”

“I mean...not really, no. But it wasn’t, like, a thing. We’re just…” Truthfully, there wasn’t a right word for it. They weren’t anything, really. 

“Hmm, that’s too bad,” Sarah said innocently, and took a bite from a french fry.

Kiara gave her a look.

“What?” Then, after a beat, dropping the fry back on the plate, “I’m sorry! I’ll let it go.”

“Thank you,” Kiara said, although well aware letting go wasn’t in her friend’s nature, so she changed the subject instead. “Any ideas for where we should go?”

Sarah tilted her head, squinting. “Wait... _she_ asked _you_ out and is making you find somewhere?”

“It’s not that deep, Sarah. She’s only lived here for a few months, so she thought I’d be better off picking.”

“Hmm...okay.” Sarah tapped her finger on her chin, leaning back in her chair. “Well, do you want to do dinner? Because you could—”

“Probably not the best idea for Valentine’s Day,” Kiara said. “It’s just the first date, and I don’t really want people assuming things.”

“Okay...you both like to surf, right?”

“It’s, like, twenty degrees outside.”

“So picky,” Sarah said, then sat up. “Hey, what about a movie? That’s pretty good first date territory. Doesn’t scream Valentine’s Day. And if you don’t end up liking her, you have an excuse not to talk to her.”

“That’s...actually not a bad idea. Thank you, Sarah,” Kiara said.

She shrugged, smiling. “It’s been known to happen.”

Kiara took out her phone to text Savannah. Having a plan in mind eased some of her nerves going into Tuesday. There was very little that could go wrong with a movie.

***

“You know you’re, like, the last person I would expect to not have a Tinder,” John B said. His legs were crossed, leaning back in the armchair. 

JJ bent down in front of the fireplace, dropping the pile of wood he carried into the house. Then he stood, turning to John B, running a hand through his hair.

“Thanks, bro....wait,” JJ said. “Why the hell would I download a dating app? When’s the last time you saw me on a date?”

John B’s eyes darted around the room, and he opened his mouth to respond. It came to JJ’s mind just as quickly. 

“Don’t—that doesn’t count.”

One month later, and JJ still wasn’t quite sure what that New Year’s Eve party at the Island Club was. Him and Kie spent the whole evening together, perhaps unintentionally, but it still happened. He didn’t know what to make of it, so he preferred not to think about it at all. Besides, it’s not as though they had the communication history to show for anything beyond moderately friendly acquaintances. 

JJ still thought his holidate scheme was a good one, but he also wasn’t going to complain that nothing came of it. As far as kooks went, Kie wasn’t half bad, which wasn’t much considering how low Addison set the bar. Still, regardless of who she was, he just wasn’t looking for something with any sort of expectations attached. 

“Whatever you say, man,” John B said, tapping on his phone screen. “Most people don’t use it for dating, though.”

“John B, are you finally looking to get laid?” JJ smirked, placing a couple logs in the fireplace, then reached for the lighter on top. “I thought you were still hung up on that Sarah chick.”

“What, Sarah Cameron?” The pink in his cheeks betrayed his nonchalant attitude. 

He snorted. “Dude, you remember her last name? You’re whipped.”

“Shut up.” John B shook his head, avoiding eye contact.

While John B continued swiping through Tinder, JJ finished building the fire. He fell back on the couch, resting his feet up on the arm, and turned the T.V. on to flip through the channels. The fire was a good idea on John B’s part, with the Saturday evening temperature dropping to fifteen degrees, and the warmest articles of clothing either of them owning being sweatshirts that weren’t made to withstand frostbite. JJ couldn’t even remember the last time they used the fireplace. It had to be long before he officially moved into the Chateau, back when Big John was still here. Back when he was still alive.

JJ stopped channel surfing when he saw Heath Ledger on the screen. Had to be whatever shitty movie Kie was talking about at the party. He wasn’t sure why he remembered it. Must’ve been the image of Batman singing in a high school soccer field that he couldn’t place, but also couldn’t get out of his brain.

“Hey, JJ! Is this your girl?”

For a moment, JJ thought he could read his mind, but then he saw John B’s arm stretched out, showing him his phone screen. Sure enough, there was a photo of Kiara. She wore a multicolored striped bikini and held a surfboard under her arm—a woman after his own heart...theoretically. Twenty-three years old. Waitress at The Wreck. Some Bob Marley lyric about world peace which he only knew because she credited him. _I’m probably judging you by your zodiac sign and whether or not you recycle your plastic._

He didn’t realize he was holding John B’s phone, scrolling through Kiara’s profile, until his friend snatched it from him, smirking. “And I’m the one who’s whipped?”

“Shut up, man,” JJ said, leaning back on the couch. He was still trying to reconcile the Kiara he knew in person—though he could barely call her a friend—with the one presented to him on John B’s screen. With all the talk of being happily single, and her streak of independence, he would never expect to find her on a dating app. He wondered if it had anything to do with the last thing she said to him on New Year’s Eve— _I’ll have a date for Valentine’s Day_. She could play it off all she wanted. JJ knew she was looking for something. 

“What’s the deal with you and her, anyway? You went out with her, but it wasn’t really a date, and you guys didn’t even…”

“Fuck?” JJ said. “Look, you’re reading into it too much, bro. We don’t even talk anymore, so just let it go.” 

He wondered if part of him was trying to convince himself, but shook the thought away as quickly as it came.

John B held up his arms. “Okay...I’ll let it go. Just thought you’d want to know she’s on Tinder. That’s all.”

“Well, I don’t really care. She can do whatever the hell she wants,” he said, turning his attention to Heath Ledger on the T.V. In his peripheral vision, he saw John B pick up his phone again. 

After a few minutes of silence, JJ watching _10 Things I Hate About You_ (it was possible he checked the guide for the title), and John B swiping on his screen, the latter sighed loudly, running a hand over his face.

“This is stupid,” John B said.

JJ raised a brow. “What? You can change the channel if you want.”

“No, not that! Tinder. I’m deleting it.”

“Why’d you even get it in the first place?”

“I don’t know...boredom? It’s almost Valentine’s Day?” John B offered.

“Really, dude? Who gives a fuck about Valentine’s Day? We don’t even need to do anything,” he said. “Hell, if you’re so worried about it, why don’t you and I just go on a date?”

John B rolled his eyes. “Wow, JJ, I thought you’d never ask.”

“No, I’m actually kind of serious. If you’re going to mope around, let’s just go see a movie or something,” JJ said. “Might take your mind off the fact that the girl you’re so hung up on will probably be fucking her boyfriend.”

“I’m not hung up on Sarah Cameron!” 

JJ put a hand over his chest, feigning innocence. “I didn’t say anything about Sarah Cameron, did I?”

“Whatever, man.” John B waved an arm at him dismissively, standing up to walk into the kitchen.

“Hey!” JJ called after him. “You pick the movie, okay? And don’t get your hopes up! I haven’t been on a date in forever, remember? You better sweep me off my feet, John B!”

***

Kiara couldn’t remember the last time going on a date made her feel physically ill. She had been on plenty of dates in the past four years, but nothing serious enough to make it to relationship territory, much less past a third one. While she always had the typical nerves, it was usually her date who had to plan everything, with Kie being a tourist everywhere she went. Even when she stayed in one place for months at a time, it was never enough to truly know somewhere—to know _someone_. 

Now here she was, back in a town she knew like the back of her hand, she being the full-time resident, and Savannah the newcomer. While she was happy to be in control of the where and the when of the evening, she wasn’t too keen on assuming responsibility of the _how_. 

All she wanted since she stepped off the plane nearly two months ago was the chance to find that something she had been craving, and now that she had that chance, she was almost scared.

She made it as far as walking through the door, immediately overwhelmed with the smell of butter and stale air from the air conditioning they run year-round. It was busy for a weekday in the middle of February, but not busy enough that Kiara thought she would grow impatient. 

Since Kiara hadn’t heard from Savannah upon arriving, she sent her a text, telling her she was there and would wait in line for tickets. There were a fair number of people in front of her, so that left plenty of time for Savannah to show up and join her. 

Then five minutes passed and she was at the front of the line. Kiara had no choice but to step forward and pay for two tickets to the eight fifteen showing of _Daggers Out_. She had seen a few ads for it, decided it seemed funny, but not cheesy, and Savannah agreed. 

Kiara checked her phone again, but there was still no word from her. Sliding the tickets into her coat pocket, she got in the concessions line. Partly because she was hungry. Partly because she didn’t know what else to do with herself. She ended up buying a bag of M&M’s, and opened it as she stood off to the side, pretending to look busy. Whenever Savannah showed up, she’d just hide the bag and buy another. 

She was beginning to feel a little ridiculous. The time was now eight o’clock and there was still no sign of Savannah. She even checked the texts on her phone to confirm that their designated meeting time was in fact seven forty-five, and when she kept scrolling, felt her stomach sink when she saw hers was still the most recent message. 

As Kiara turned around to face the door, she nearly choked on an M&M. Savannah did make it to the movie theater, but she was arm in arm with Rafe Cameron. She had to blink several times to believe it with her own eyes. 

Neither of them noticed her yet, making their way over to the ticket line—Savannah giggling, Rafe looking entirely too proud of himself. Everything about their body language, the way Savannah was pressed into him, suggested that they knew each other. _Really_ knew each other. 

Kiara hadn’t noticed the large lump in her throat until she swallowed and it hurt. Before she could give into anything resembling disappointment or rejection, she marched over to them, sliding the bag of candy back into her pocket. Their backs were to her, so she crossed her arms and cleared her throat.

When they turned around, Rafe sneered at her, pulling Savannah closer with an arm around her shoulder. Savannah’s eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open with an explanation Kiara wasn’t going to allow her, or at least not before she got a word in. 

“Yeah, hi,” Kiara said, forcing a smile. “Fancy seeing you two here on Valentine’s Day. I suppose that’s what this is? A date?”

“Kiara—” Savannah started.

“Yeah, it is actually,” Rafe said. “You got a problem with that? Someone a little jealous?”

If they weren’t in public, Kiara would’ve happily smacked him across the face. She settled for a death glare instead.

“You keep telling yourself that, Rafe. Whatever helps you sleep at night instead of crying over how a freshman girl rejected your prom invite because you’re too much of a slimeball to have friends your own age.”

Rafe’s smile faltered, and his nostrils flared. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Aw, I’m sorry,” she said, putting a hand over her chest. “Am I embarrassing you in front of your little girlfriend? I would just _hate_ for her to think you aren’t over something that happened, what, like eight years ago?”

Savannah took Rafe’s temporary shock as a moment to get a say in. 

“Kiara, look. I should’ve texted you, I’m sorry. It sort of just slipped my mind, and—”

“Oh, so you just _forgot_ that you had two dates planned in the exact same place on the exact same night?” She raised a brow.

“I wasn’t planning on going out with Rafe, okay? It sort of just happened. We’d been hanging out for a while and then he asked me, so—”

“Okay, seriously. I’d rather not hear about whatever weird relationship you two have going on,” Kiara spat. “But honestly, Savannah, if I were you I’d run away while you still can. You can do a hell of a lot better than Rafe Cameron, trust me.”

“What, like you?” Savannah said, her voice suddenly so full of venom Kiara could hardly believe it. Rafe was grinning again, which was enough to push her completely off the edge. So she aimed for where she knew it would hurt most. 

“No, actually. I meant anyone with a brain, and maybe a bigger dick, too. But hey,” she said, looking directly at Rafe now. “You get what you ask for.”

“You little—” The vein in his neck practically popped out of his skin.

Then she felt a pair of arms around her waist, causing her to jump. An all too familiar voice right in her ear.

“Hey! I wasn't expecting to see you here.” JJ’s breath on her neck sent an involuntary shiver down her back, and she eyed him curiously. He barely met her gaze, but gave her back a light pinch. Figuring it was some sort of signal, she took the bait. 

“Oh, hi, JJ,” she said, batting her eyelashes up at him.

“Wait a minute,” Savannah said, glancing between them. “So, you’re giving me shit for bailing when you’ve got other plans, too?”

It took everything in Kiara not to scowl at her, forcing all her energy into a smile instead. She took JJ’s hands in her own while his chin rested on her shoulder. It was JJ who spoke up first.

“Actually, we didn’t have any plans. I didn’t even know she was going to be here.” His voice tickled Kiara’s ear, a surprise warmth spreading through her body that she wasn’t sure what to make of. 

Rafe, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the past two minutes, sizing up JJ, finally piped in. “Looks like your bitch is a cheater, man.”

“Call me that again to my face, and I _swear_ I will kick your tiny sack of—”

She felt JJ pinch her again, and she nearly elbowed him in the rib. 

“Kie and I are just fuck buddies,” he clarified, and Kiara had a difficult time hiding her reaction, which was equal parts amused and irritated. Luckily, both Savannah’s and Rafe’s focus was entirely on JJ. “What she does with her time isn’t really my business.”

“Huh.” Rafe’s tongue was in his cheek, now looking at Kiara in a way that she did not appreciate after being referred to as a ‘fuck buddy.’ Almost as if he was picturing it himself. “You know, I’m not surprised, Kiara. You always were a slut.”

“Funny,” Kiara said. “That’s the exact opposite of what you said when you sent me a dick pic back in high school and I didn’t respond. Honestly, I thought it was a toothpick…”

JJ broke into laughter, his arms falling from her waist to clutch his stomach. Even Savannah couldn’t resist a smile. Rafe, on the other hand, was fuming. His face appeared the exact same shade of red as a tomato, his greasy blonde hair sticking up like the leaves on the stem. 

“That’s rough, man,” JJ said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. 

“Come on,” Rafe said to Savannah, turning them away by steering her shoulder, and leading her to the end of the ticket line, but not before shooting a glare in JJ and Kiara’s direction. 

If Kiara didn’t know any better she’d say Savannah looked just as humiliated as Rafe, as though she couldn’t stand that her sleeping with someone with a small dick was public knowledge. She was torn between wishing better for Savannah, and concluding that the two of them deserved each other. Regardless, she would be happy if she never saw either of them again. Although on this island, that was impossible. 

***

Only after they were out of earshot did JJ laugh again, this time Kiara joining him. While he had no idea who Rafe Cameron was—though the name sounded strangely familiar—he had a strong suspicion that he deserved what he got, along with whoever the girl was with him. For that reason alone, he was happy he stepped in, even if Kiara appeared to have the situation well under control. 

After a whole minute, they caught their breath, and Kiara said, “Hey, um, thanks, by the way. I don’t know how much of that you heard, but...”

“Quite a lot, actually,” he said. “I take it that Rafe guy’s a bitter ex or something?”

She scrunched her face together, as though disgusted with the mere thought.

“No way in hell. He’s just some asshole from high school I can’t seem to get rid of. Well, that and my best friend’s brother, but honestly I like to forget that part.”

“Wait...Rafe is Sarah’s brother?” He couldn’t picture the two of them together, much less from the same family. 

“Again, I prefer not to think about it.”

“But then...I thought…”

“It’s the girl I liked actually. Savannah,” Kiara said, smiling sadly. “We were supposed to go out tonight, but I guess she had other plans.”

“Oh…” JJ wasn’t sure what to think. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed…”

“Pansexual.” 

She clarified his unspoken question, and he felt an inexplicable sense of relief. Before he dwelled on it too much, he turned his attention to John B, who had just joined the two. 

“Oh, hey!” Kiara said. “John B, right?”

At first, JJ was surprised at how quickly she recalled his name, but then he supposed John B is a hard one to forget.

“That’s me,” John B said. 

“So…” Her gaze flickered between the two, a playful smile on her face. “Is _this_ a date?”

“No—” John B started, but JJ finished.

“Technically, yes.” He threw an arm around John B’s shoulder. “Couldn’t let my man here sulk around all day, so because I’m such a great friend, I’m treating him to a movie.”

“Oh, really? You’re paying?” His friend raised an eyebrow.

“Never said anything about that.”

“Shit!” Kiara exclaimed, reaching into her pocket. “That reminds me. I totally forgot I already paid for tickets…”

“Wait...you paid for tickets before your date even showed up?” JJ asked.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to hear it, okay?”

Part of him wanted to laugh, but the other, more repressed part of him wanted to put an arm around her. It would be so easy, just like he did only minutes ago. But that was JJ in a different context, one where he could touch her whenever she wanted him to. This JJ was something else—a friend? He wasn’t quite sure what the present label was. Besides, at the very least, he knew her well enough to predict her reaction if he so much as reached out his hand in her direction. 

Then he noticed John B glance between the two of them before checking his phone. “Shit! They need me down at that marina.”

JJ narrowed his eyes at him. “At eight o’clock at night?”

“Yeah, uh, emergency repair. I guess there was some sort of accident. Sorry to bail on you, man,” John B said. “But, hey, maybe you two should just go. You know, since the tickets are already paid for.”

A lot of things went completely over JJ’s head, but he liked to think that his best friend didn’t believe him to be _that_ clueless. Or maybe he just didn’t care. 

JJ looked to Kiara, because he was going to take her lead on this. He didn’t want her to have to waste two tickets, but he also wasn’t going to impose, or even assume this was something they should do together, whatever their relationship was. 

“Well…” she began. “It’s not like I can refund them. I don’t know. Would you want to, JJ? I don’t want to, like, force you to go see a movie with me.” 

He glanced over at John B who all but begged him with his eyes, then looked back at Kiara, and shrugged. 

“Hey, I can’t say no to a free movie.” He smiled at her, and she returned it. He thought it might just be the first genuine one she ever gave him.

“Great!” John B gave him a pat on the back. “See you guys later! I should get going.” 

After waving to Kiara, and before JJ could say anything, he was gone. He could already see himself coming home hours from now to find John B sitting on the couch with a beer, giving no indication he even stepped foot on the marina. JJ’s Valentine’s Day plans changed in the blink of an eye, and he didn’t think it was such a bad thing.

“So...shall we?” Kiara said.

It turned out that she bought tickets for the exact same movie he and John B had come to see. JJ offered to pay her for one of the tickets, but she refused. Said that she still owed him from the New Year’s Eve Uber ride she forgot to pay him back for. Truthfully, he never sent her the split fare option, but he didn’t tell her that. Instead, he paid for a medium sized popcorn to split between the two. While he was in line and she went to get their seats, he wondered if he was pushing a boundary. Ultimately, he justified his decision with the fact that one medium popcorn cost less than two smalls. That had to be reason enough. 

He made it to the theater just as the movie started, looking around for Kiara. She stuck her arm up, waving to him from the back, so he made his way up and fell back in the empty seat next to her, holding the popcorn bucket in his lap.

“Thanks,” she said, reaching over to grab a small handful. 

“No problem,” JJ said, “Fair warning. You picked the worst person to watch a movie with.”

Kiara turned to him, quirking a brow. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I talk through the whole thing.” He threw a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

“Dude, no way. Me, too!”

JJ looked at her, and almost recoiled when he realized how close they were. With all the lights out, her brown eyes looked even darker, like the same shade as her hair. She must’ve noticed the proximity, too, because she quickly looked away, taking more popcorn. 

Because he had some restraint, he was quiet for the first twenty or so minutes of the movie. But eventually, he couldn’t resist whispering his commentary, whether or not Kiara heard it. Although, judging by her soft laughter and nudges, she did. Pretty soon she was joining him, and together they became every movie theater’s most hated audience member, but neither of them cared. 

At one point, Kiara snorted while she laughed quietly, covering her nose and mouth with her hands, and something tugged in JJ’s chest. Since the seat in front of him was empty, he put his feet up. After a minute, Kiara pushed his leg down. He opened his mouth in mock defense before reassuming his position. Then she started to use her own foot to push at his, but he pushed back, both of them laughing the whole time, and attracting a few impatient stares. So JJ held a finger to his lips and she giggled.

He couldn’t say how the last half of the movie went, instead finding himself thinking about goddamn _10 Things I Hate About You_ , and how Kiara said no one would turn Heath Ledger down. He wondered if that included her, too.

***

It wasn’t until the movie was already over and they left the theater that Kiara realized she still had a full bag of M&M’s in her coat pocket. Unlike the tickets, however, there were no regrets. The candy was purely self-indulgent. She wasn’t sure she would share it even if things had worked out with Savannah. 

“Oh, I see how it is. I buy the popcorn and you hide the candy from me,” JJ said, reaching his hand over, but she drew her arm back. 

“Not a chance. This is my consolation prize for being stood up on Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, well...you still sort of ended up with plans, so I’m not sure you deserve to feel sorry for yourself.” 

He quickly grabbed the bag from her, and she gasped.

“Hey! I paid for that!”

“And I paid for the popcorn, but you still ate, like, the whole thing,” he said pointedly, popping an M&M into his mouth.

“Are you kidding me? I had, like, three handfuls! You left me with kernels.”

“Popcorn...kernels...tomato, tomato.”

“Whatever,” she said, shaking her head. “Hey...do you...need a ride home, or something?”

She asked before she even really thought about it. They just walked out the door into the cold air, Kiara instinctively wrapping her arms around herself. Luckily, her car wasn’t too far away. She just wouldn’t feel right leaving him to wait for an Uber on a night like this. 

“Uh…” JJ looked around, as though he was waiting for a better offer to arrive. “I guess so, seeing as my ride ditched me. Is that...okay?”

“Yeah, of course! No big deal,” Kiara said, then began walking, leading them to her parking spot. 

The first thing she did was turn the heat all the way up, allowing herself a moment’s rest from the chill biting her cheeks. JJ reached for the radio button before realizing it wasn’t working, furrowing his brows.

“I didn’t turn the car all the way on, yet,” she explained. “I want to finish eating my M&M’s first.”

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. Priorities.” He smirked.

She held out her gloved hand. “So I’d like them back, please.”

“Only if you share.”

“You’re being really insensitive to my pain right now.” Kiara lunged forward to snatch the bag out of his hand, placing it in her lap. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re so heartbroken,” he said, laughing to himself.

“You know, for a couple hours there I almost forgot how much of an asshole you are.”

JJ pouted, looking at her with pleading eyes. “Have I warmed your cold, dead heart?”

“Shut up,” she said, with a mouthful of M&M’s. 

Despite it being a joke, Kiara sort of meant it. Granted, she didn’t really think JJ was an asshole, but she was beginning to understand that there was a lot to the guy. He was constantly smiling, laughing, teasing, and she couldn’t help but feel like it was all a front. There were glimpses of another JJ, the one that jumped in to help her, even though he barely knew her or the situation she was in. Or the one that made sure she got home safely on New Year’s Eve. She had trouble reconciling the two in her mind, and it made her question what other sides she hadn’t seen yet.

“Am I really not allowed to have some?” JJ asked, watching her reach in the bag again.

She paused, considering him for a moment before groaning and handing him a few pieces. “Fine.”

“So what’s the deal with the dick pic?” It came out so easily, she wondered how long it had been on his mind. 

Kiara shrugged. “You pretty much heard the whole thing. I was a freshman and he was a senior when he asked me to prom, and—”

“Wait, really?” JJ’s eyes widened. 

“Yeah, I was honestly sort of flattered at first, but I felt really weird about it with Sarah and everything, so I said no. And he...well...he didn’t take it well _at all_. So he sent that Snapchat. I guess hoping that it would change my mind or something,” she said, nearly laughing at the thought of it. 

“That’s...wow…”

“Yep,” she said. “He knew any girl his own age wouldn’t go with him, because they were old enough to see through his bullshit.”

“I really can’t picture you with him,” JJ said. “At all.”

Kiara smiled, pausing before she ate another M&M. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Don’t get used to it.” He smiled back.

There was a brief moment of silence where Kiara continued eating, even offering the bag to JJ again. She realized she was enjoying herself, just sitting there in her car with him while they gorged on M&M’s on Valentine’s Day. It felt like being with an old friend, one you knew well enough that the stillness wasn’t uncomfortable or waiting to be filled. It was strange, but JJ sort of felt like one of those people. 

“So...was it really a toothpick?” JJ asked, stifling a grin.

She scoffed. “Really? You men are all the same...but yes.”

He fell into a fit of laughter, his blue eyes tearing up, which only made her start laughing, too.

“He overcompensates for it with his _big_ personality,” Kiara said.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said. “Do you think she’ll ever fuck him again now?”

Shrugging, she replied, “Guess it never bothered her before.”

“ _Or_ maybe you just completely ruined his sex life for him.”

“Then I did something right,” she said.

Unapologetically, Kiara finished off the M&M’s, sticking the empty bag in her purse. She knew she might be sorry for it later when she had a headache or stomach cramp, but right now she was pleased with her decision. Any purchase made for her own peace of mind was money well spent. 

When she turned the key the rest of the way in the ignition, she glanced over at JJ, who was looking out the window again. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving a few strands in the front hanging over his forehead. She thought about Savannah and Rafe, then Drew and her mother. She thought about the future, and how many more times she would have to brace herself for another family gathering with an overwhelming sense of dread. 

“I’ll do it,” Kiara said.

He turned around. “Uh...do what?”

“The holidate thing,” she continued. “Or whatever it was you said on New Year’s.”

JJ blinked, studying her for a moment. Then the corners of his mouth turned upwards. 

“So...St. Patrick’s Day?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could've just kept Daggers Out as Knives Out, but I really didn't feel like putting a year to this lol.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	4. The Luck of a Maybank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> St. Patrick's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added it to the tags, but just in case you didn't see it there's going to be more than just implied child abuse in this chapter. But again, nothing too different from what we see in the show.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Sometimes, JJ woke up devising plans to shut John B’s rooster up forever. 

Not that he ever would. Technically, the rooster belonged to Big John, and for that reason alone, the bird would die here before John B ever thought about giving it away. Mostly, it was the perfect alarm clock whenever JJ forgot to set one on his phone, but on a rare day off, especially on a Sunday morning, he brought a pillow around his head, attempting to block the sound from his ears without much luck. 

JJ turned over on his back, groaning. He felt his hand hit something solid under the blanket, looked over, and quickly withdrew his arm. In his early morning, vaguely hungover state, he completely forgot about the girl in bed with him. 

Riley was pretty, with curly red hair and a loud laugh that kept him entertained all night. But most importantly, she wasn’t a kook. In almost no time at all, their casual conversation over whiskey shots turned into her hands on his arms, and his in her hair, and he hardly remembered the period between saying goodbye to John B at the bar and now. 

He wasn’t sure if it was the rooster or his brief touch that woke her—possibly both—but she stretched her arms out, then rubbed at her eyes. Blinking, she met his gaze, pulling the blanket higher over her bare chest. 

“Hi,” she murmured, her eyes still half-closed. 

“Hi,” JJ said, but instead looking in front of him at his hands on top of the covers. “Sorry about the rooster.”

“I was wondering what that was.” 

Riley rolled out of the bed, locating her clothes on the floor. He glanced down at her naked back, then turned to reach for his boxers. Once she got dressed, she offered him a smile before heading for the bedroom door. 

“Wait...uh...” He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to say. _Are you hungry? Do you need a ride?_ Thoughts he didn’t normally have after fucking someone, but for some reason surfaced in his mind. It wasn’t even that he particularly wanted to spend more time with her. 

She raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“Don’t forget your shoes.” JJ came up with it on the spot, recalling they both ditched them as soon as they walked through the front door last night. 

“Thanks…” She gave him an odd look, but smiled nonetheless. 

After she left the room, he stood up and pulled his shorts on and went out to the living room. Riley had just walked out, the door shutting closed behind her. Out the window, he saw her make her way up the driveway, wondering if she was going to walk all the way home. 

Then a light pick up truck, wrecked with dents and stains drove up to the house, and something twisted in JJ’s stomach. He brought his hands to his head, steeling himself despite the blood pounding in his ears before he walked out to the front porch and down the steps. 

JJ waited for his father as he stepped out of his truck, slamming the door shut behind him. Chewing his lip, he shoved his hands in his pockets as Luke approached him. Even at this ungodly hour, he reeked of beer, cigarettes, and grease. Never once in the four years since JJ moved out did he come to the Chateau. It was always he who had to initiate any sort of encounter, if at all. If his father was here, it had to mean something very bad happened.

Luke stopped a few feet in front of him, glancing over him without any visible indication of his intentions. Then he chuckled to himself. 

“Still fucking around, are you, kid?” He looked back at the driveway where Riley disappeared.

JJ didn’t respond, wasn’t sure how to answer that, so instead risked a question, “What are you doing here, Dad?”

“What, a father’s not allowed to visit his son?” Luke said. “Haven’t seen you since before Christmas, boy. Not too worried about your old man, are you?”

Curling his hand into a fist, JJ dug his nails into his palm and his heart hammered against his chest. Luke’s offhand behavior suggested he came here because he wanted something. But he couldn’t think of a thing he had to offer him.

“Heard you been doing well at the auto shop.” 

JJ’s stomach fell. _There it was_.

“Since you neglected to tell your old man about all the money you’re making, thought I’d stop by myself,” Luke said, taking a step forward, which caused JJ to flinch slightly. “We had a deal, son. I get a cut out of whatever you got.” 

The deal was a careless comment JJ made the day he moved all his things out. Ever since he was a child, all Luke wanted was for him to be gone. For good. JJ said as much when his father shoved him against a wall, arm against his neck while he fought him off. For a brief, blindly hopeful moment, he thought this was Luke’s twisted way of telling him he didn’t want him to go. Because he loved him in his own way. But then he spit in JJ’s face, holding a balled fist over his head, and called him a good-for-nothing piece of shit who didn’t give a fuck about his own father. 

It was then that he realized how desperate Luke was, not for his son, but for how much he depended on him. So JJ made an unofficial promise when he finally managed to push him off. Said he’d pay him a share of whatever he made, that he’d always have him to fall back on. It pained JJ to do it, but somehow, it hurt far less than the thought of cutting ties with Luke Maybank forever. 

That was four years ago, when he was desperate and didn’t really think things through. Now though, JJ was in a much better place than he ever thought he’d be at twenty-two. A stable job, a roof over his head, and some to spare—thanks to the raise Kenny gave him last month. He was now in a position where he didn’t have to wake up every morning wondering if he could afford dinner, or pay his half of the electricity bill. It wasn’t much, but it was still something. 

“No,” JJ said, avoiding his father’s gaze.

Luke’s eyes widened, lowering his voice. “No?”

“Yes, no. I won’t do it, Dad. I’m tired of always having to pick up after your shit. It’s not my fault you spend all your money on fucking coke, or whatever it is you’re on these days—”

“What’d you say to me, boy?” He yelled, moving forward until JJ could smell his breath.

JJ closed his eyes, his lip quivering, but he put all his energy into another firm, “I’m not doing it. Get the fuck out of here.”

“Oh, is that it?” Luke laughed, making JJ feel smaller and colder than he did before standing shirtless in the mid-March air. “You think you’re a man now, do ya? You think you can take care of yourself? You don’t need your old man?”

Just as JJ opened his mouth to respond, Luke pushed him back against the front porch railing, the wooden edge digging into JJ’s back, and closed his hands around his neck, applying pressure, but not enough to have him gasping for air. 

“You give me that money, you piece of shit! You hear me?” He growled, pushing harder until JJ felt his skin burn.

With his father’s fingers digging into his throat and a scalding pain on his lower back that brought tears to his eyes, JJ used all his effort to pull his hands off his neck, pushing him off. Momentarily stunned, Luke came forward again, but JJ shouted before he got close enough.

“I’ll do it, okay? I’ll give you some.”

Luke lowered his arms, his shoulders relaxing as he considered him. Meanwhile JJ forced himself to remain upright despite the ache in his back spreading through his whole body. Then a wide grin broke across his face, and he clapped JJ on the arm.

“That’s a good boy, son.”

JJ smiled, his eyes glued to the ground. He might’ve been able to fight Luke off, but he had also never felt weaker.

***

“So, remind me again what the deal is with you two?” Tamara asked from the screen of Kiara’s laptop on her desk.

“There’s no _deal_ ,” Kiara replied, opening the drawer of her dresser and shuffling through her shirts, looking for anything green. “We both just agreed to be each other’s dates on holidays. ‘Holidate’ is the term he used, I guess.”

“Okay...but did you ever think you guys could just...actually go on a date, see how it goes?”

Kiara sighed, pausing to turn around and look at her cousin. Tamara bit her lip, smiling as she shrugged. She could just see the top of her pregnant belly, which was beginning to show, mostly out of view of the screen. 

“Yeah, but that would mean we _wanted_ to date. We’re just friends, Tam. This just makes things easier.” Pulling out a green sweater, Kiara held it up in front of her. “What about this?”

“It’s cute, but probably too fancy. You guys are just going to a bar, right?” Tamara said. “And I don’t see how this is easier than just going out with him, seeing how it goes. You like him enough to do this...holidating thing, so what’s the difference?”

She gave her a look, dropping the sweater back in the drawer. “It’s called not being attracted to someone. So I think that would be a waste of time.”

Tamara held her arms up. “Okay, okay. Whatever you say.”

“Thank you,” Kiara said. After rummaging through her clothes again she pulled out a plain, green v-neck t-shirt. “This good?”

The fact that she was even concerned about her outfit for the night in the first place was troubling. This wasn’t even going to be a date, so she wasn’t sure what all the fuss was for. Maybe it had something to do with how she never celebrated St. Patrick’s Day—save the one year she happened to be in Ireland; it would’ve been irrational not to. Other than drinking copiously, she wasn’t entirely sure what the protocol was. 

“Perfect,” Tamara said. “Now stop stressing. It’s not even a date, like you said. Didn’t you say Sarah’s coming, too?”

“I’m not stressing,” she said briskly, then smoothed her hair behind her ears. “Sarah and Topper, yeah. Who knows who else Topper might drag along.”

“Well, see? You won’t be alone, then. Worst comes to worst, you just talk to Sarah all night.”

“Yeah…” Kiara fell into the chair in front of her desk, though didn’t look at the screen, holding the shirt in her lap.

She wasn’t sure what it was—the inexplicable anxiety she had going into the night or the photo on her desk of her, Sarah, Scarlet, and a couple other girls from high school she hadn’t seen since graduation—but a lump settled in her throat and she chewed her lip. It wasn’t like she thought they would all be best friends forever, aside from Sarah of course. But as a twenty-three year old woman who traveled the world all by herself, she never imagined she would be in a place where everywhere she went, it was always going to be _at least you have Sarah._

Truthfully, Kiara would be perfectly happy if Sarah was her only friend for the rest of her life. But that didn’t mean Sarah could be by her side whenever she wanted. She had a boyfriend, and on top of that, she was a friend to anyone she spoke to. Kiara, on the other hand, wanted to dissolve into a wall at most social gatherings, especially if she didn’t have any alcohol in her.

Kiara didn’t realize how grateful she was for JJ on New Year’s Eve until after the fact. She wasn’t sure what she would’ve done with herself if he wasn’t there. Tagging along with Sarah while she had Topper with her sounded about as appealing as ripping her dress in front of half the Island Club. 

Maybe that’s why she dragged him around with her all evening, and why she even played along with Sarah’s scheme in the first place. Even after spending four years in her own company, she was always surrounded by new people, places, experiences. And maybe that was just it—Kiara didn’t leave the Outer Banks just so she could be free. She wanted to escape that feeling stirring inside her that she couldn’t quite place. Anything that filled that void, no matter how temporary, was enough. And now she felt its absence everywhere.

“Hey…” Tamara’s voice focused Kiara. “You okay?”

“What? Yeah, totally fine.” She pulled a smile, shaking her head. “How are you doing, by the way? You know...with everything.”

“Honestly, I wake up every morning and I still can’t believe it.” Her cousin laughed, bringing a hand to her belly. “Three months now. It’s crazy.”

“How’s Carlos doing?” Kiara asked, raising a brow. 

“Oh, he’s been great! Now that he’s moved past the whole shit-I’m-going-to-be-a-father stage, he’s now at hell-yeah-I’m-going-to-be-a-dad. I think he’s more excited than I am. Might just have to marry the guy.”

“And not just because there’s a baby involved?”

“Hey, Carlos and I had been talking about it before all this happened,” Tamara said. “We’ll see how he does with the baby first, though.”

“Good idea. Put him to the test.” Kiara smirked.

“Exactly! Who knows, if your plan works out, you might be bringing Mr. Holidate to a baby shower soon.”

She knew it was a joke, laughed even, but the thought of JJ’s holidate plan lasting through Tamara’s pregnancy—at least another whole six months—was hardly comforting.

***

Kiara brought him to Figure Eight for New Year’s Eve, so it was only right and fair that JJ brought her to his side of the island. As far as he was concerned, the Gray Gull was the place to be for St. Patrick’s Day. Reggie had the bar decked out like Kildare was right in the heart of Ireland, or at least, what JJ imagined Ireland to look like on St. Patrick’s Day—streamers, gold coins, and shamrocks everywhere, like a leprechaun threw up everywhere. Plus, the deals were hard to beat, and easy for drinking past your limit, a dangerous combination for the holiday. 

JJ and John B managed to drag Pope along for the evening, despite his many complaints about the frivolity of an entire day dedicated to nothing other than drinking, and the fact that he wasn’t even Irish. Besides, the more people that came, the less the occasion would feel like anything more than a group hang out. 

She was bringing her friends, too, which as far as he knew meant Sarah and her boyfriend he couldn’t remember the name of. He just knew it sounded like the guy belonged in a circus, which was just as well, seeing as he was a kook. Although JJ wouldn’t be surprised if a few others tagged along. If he learned anything from parties at the Boneyard in high school, they always traveled in packs. And after the Island Club party on New Year’s, he didn’t think they ever outgrew the habit.

For all intents and purposes, it was a date—in every sense of the word but the word itself. He wasn’t sure what else to call taking a girl out in entirely platonic terms, but with romantic implications for show. The beauty of it was he wouldn’t have to think about it. They were just there to be there together. Nothing else. No feelings. No expectations. No anything. It was a wonder JJ didn’t think of it sooner. 

Thanks to John B’s connection with Reggie, he was able to get them all in without a cover charge. JJ almost pulled him aside to argue whether or not it was fair that a bunch of kooks got to take advantage of their discount, but thought better of it. It was hard to care about anything when the prospect of two dollar beers awaited him. 

“This is...wow,” Kiara said once they were all inside. The bar was already filled to its maximum capacity and there was still a line out the door that wrapped around the corner of the building. Green and gold confetti covered the countertops. Tall glasses were adorned with four leaf clovers. The smell of sweat and beer stuffed the air. The two T.V. screens overhead showed the same football game, eliciting shouts and banging on tables. 

“Beats whatever they’ve got going on at the Island Club, I bet,” JJ said.

She laughed. “Oh, please. St. Patrick’s Day is far too uncivilized for them. You think Topper would be here if he had a better offer?”

“Yeah, why did he come?”

“Why do you think?” Kiara nodded to where Sarah and Topper leaned against the bar, his hand curling into her waist while he turned to order something. “He’s like a helicopter or something...everywhere she goes.”

For some reason, all he could think about when he saw them together was John B. The fact that Topper seemed to be an asshole—according to Kiara anyway—made it easier to hope for things to end badly on his friend’s behalf. 

“So what would you be doing if you weren’t here, then?” he asked, walking with her up to the bar. 

“Probably nothing,” she said, leaning against the counter. “I don’t really celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.”

He furrowed his brows. “Wait, really?”

“Well, I’m not Irish. Maybe a little on my mom’s side, but I don’t really know.” Kiara shrugged as the bartender, whose name JJ thought was Gary, came over to them. She hesitated, eyeing the drinks menu, so JJ ordered two beers. Worst case scenario he would drink both. 

“So? I have no fucking idea what I am, but it’s an excuse to drink,” JJ said, occupying the stool in front of him. She followed suit.

“You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who needs an excuse to drink.”

“Touché.” When Gary reappeared with the two drinks, JJ slid a few dollars across the counter, then turned to Kiara and raised a glass. “Cheers to Kiara Carrera’s first St. Patrick’s Day.”

She laughed. “Not exactly my first. I sort of celebrated in Ireland a couple years ago.”

JJ’s eyes widened, lowering his arm. “You went to _Ireland_? On _St. Patrick’s Day_?”

“Yes! If you think this is crazy…” She gestured vaguely around the room. “It was fun, and makes much more sense when you’re actually _from_ Ireland, but I’m not sure I would do it again. I didn’t leave my bed for, like, three days.”

“Damn, Kie. You never told me you’ve been, like, halfway around the world.” He took a large sip of his beer, leaning his head on his propped up fist. 

“You say that like we’ve known each other forever,” she said, her brown eyes shining with amusement. Then her smile faltered, staring down at the counter, and bit her lip, like she was thinking profoundly about something.

“Where else have you been, globetrotter?” 

Kiara laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I mean...everywhere, honestly. Traveling was my full-time job for four years.”

JJ nearly choked on his beer. “ _Four years_? You’re kidding!”

“No, I’m not. As soon as I graduated, I wanted to get the hell out of here. I needed to see...literally anything else. I was supposed to go to Europe for six months, but it sort of just turned into...well, yeah.”

“How the fuck did you afford that?” As soon as he said it, he remembered that Kiara was a kook, and could probably buy five houses right now if she wanted to. “I mean—”

“Saved up a lot from working for my dad,” she explained. “That ran out pretty quickly, though. So then I did a lot of odd jobs anywhere I stayed for more than a couple months. It was kind of stressful, but…” 

“What, no trust fund?” 

Kiara shot him a glare, but her expression softened quickly. “Well, yeah. I gave most of it to charity, though.”

JJ paused, lowering his glass from his lips, and tilted his head. “Huh.”

“What, not what you expected?” She smirked, raising a brow before she took a long sip of her drink. 

He tried to imagine what life would be like if he were in her shoes. Twenty-two years old and the only place JJ traveled to was the mainland, and he could count the number of times on one hand. Most of what JJ knew was contained in this island—the marsh, Rixon’s Cove, the Boneyard, Kildare County High, the Chateau. His idea of exploring was heading out on the boat to go fishing with John B and Pope. Other countries were as foreign to him as outer space or the deep ocean. He couldn’t picture himself anywhere but in Kildare County, and it wasn’t until now that he saw that as anything other than pure fact. 

JJ liked to think that if he traveled the world, he would find some deeper purpose, or whatever it is that people say. Everything he knew about Kiara suggested she should be off in the Arctic saving the polar bears, or planting trees in the Amazon. But she was gone for four whole years and still ended up back here, the very place she wanted to leave. 

Watching John B approach the bar over Kiara’s shoulder—next to where Sarah and Topper sat, Sarah’s eyes drifting to John B’s form while he ordered another drink—JJ wondered, when you had been everywhere, seen everything, what could possibly be missing.

***

In just a short hour’s time, Kiara was beginning to see why JJ brought them to the Gray Gull for St. Patrick’s Day. It was nowhere near the disaster she experienced at the pub in Ireland, but it was cutting it pretty close. Women were on tables, spilling the drinks all over the place. Middle-aged men slammed their glasses on the counter, shouting profanities and ridiculous stories at each other. Green streamers were strewn across the wooden floor. Best of all, Kiara might’ve just surpassed her New Year’s record. It was only a matter of time before the consequences hit her.

At least this time, JJ was on her wavelength. 

“Hey...hey!” Kiara furiously tapped his shoulder, and he turned slowly with a dumbstruck look in his blue eyes. “What does JJ stand for anyway?”

“Jonathan James,” he slurred, leaning on the pool table. “What does Kie stand for?”

“Um, are you _stupid_? Kiara, remember?”

“Right, right, right.” He closed his eyes momentarily, shifting his feet. “I forgot.”

Kiara’s eyes widened and gasped. “Hey, wait! Is that why you’re JJ and your roommate friend guy is John B?”

“Look at you, smarty pants.” JJ laughed and picked up one of the cue sticks, nearly hitting Kiara in the head, but she managed to duck just in time. “Sorry.”

“Watch yourself, Jonathan.” She waved a finger at him before picking up a stick, too. “How the hell do you play this anyway?”

“Here, I’ll show you.”

He rested his cue stick against the wall then put an arm around her, one hand holding hers with the stick, and the other holding her upper arm. Her skin tingled from his contact—must’ve been all the beer settling into her system. She elbowed him in the ribs.

“Ow!” When she turned around, he was rubbing his stomach. “What the hell?”

“I just want to know how to play the game,” she said slowly, concentrating on each word. “I don’t need you mounting me on the pool table.” 

JJ squinted at her, scratching his head. “Uh...that’s not…”

“So I hold this stick thing and shoot the balls into the holes, right?” Moving up to the side of the table, she positioned herself with the cue stick. When she didn’t hear him, she said, “Stop checking out my ass.”

“I wasn’t!” JJ held up his arms, walking to the other side of the table. She wasn’t sure if his face was red from the alcohol, or because she caught him in the act. After a beat, he laughed. “Balls in holes.”

“Are you a fucking twelve year old? They’re balls and holes. What else do you want me to call them?” She meant to sound firm, but found herself laughing with him instead.

As they played, Kiara was beginning to think she was better off never learning in the first place. Sure, it was fun at first, especially because she was scoring far more than JJ. Eventually, JJ’s friend, Pope, came to join them, assuming the unofficial role of Kiara’s cheerleader. “You’re just rooting for her because she’s winning,” JJ had said, to which Pope just shrugged. 

Then her head felt fuzzy, and it became increasingly difficult to focus on her aim, although JJ wasn’t much better. She grew frustrated when every ball she shot bounced off the walls, ultimately going nowhere, and declared herself bored and the game over. 

After hooking her cue stick back on the wall, she turned and came face to face with Drew. Or at least, she thought it was Drew. She could barely make out his glasses in her blurred vision. 

“Kiara!” He appeared just as surprised as she was. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m fantastic, Drew!” Kiara put an arm on his shoulder, mostly to steady herself. “How are you?”

“Uh...great! It’s good to see you.” She thought he was looking over her head at the two boys. 

“This is my holidate JJ,” she said. “And this is Pope.”

“Holidate? Interesting.” 

“Yes, isn’t it?” She walked over to JJ, wrapping herself around him, then said in his ear, hopefully whispering, “Help.”

Pope shared a strange look with Drew as JJ pulled Kiara along with him away from the pool table, squeezing through the crowd to the other side of the bar. Along the way, she saw Sarah in the corner, shouted out to her, but she must not have heard over all the noise. For a moment, she could’ve sworn Topper’s hair looked longer and darker, but that couldn’t be, so she shook the thought away. 

“You’re deprived, aren’t you?” JJ said once they were back at the bar. He ordered them another round of drinks, which, theoretically, was a terrible idea, but she didn’t object. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean _deprived_? I’m not deprived of any….hey!”

“Seriously, when’s the last time?” he asked, resting his arm on the counter. Absentmindedly, her eyes fell on his upper arm. It was awful timing, really.

“That is very personal and none of your business,” Kiara huffed, crossing her arms. Then, not because she cared, but to prove a point, asked, “What about you?”

“Last week,” he replied casually, lifting his glass to his mouth. 

“Last...last week? Really?” For some reason, her mind drifted back to what she might’ve been doing at the time. Probably working. 

“Jealous?” There was a flicker of amusement, and something else, in his eyes. “Or are you just judging? It’s not my fault you don’t have a sex life.”

“I—” Her jaw dropped, and she struggled to gather her words. “I have a sex life, okay? And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say _you’re_ —” She poked his chest. “—the one who’s jealous.” 

“Uh huh.” JJ smirked, and _god_ , it made her fingers curl and her stomach churn. Her face burned, and she was beginning to second guess that beer, but she also wanted to distract herself before she acted on whatever deep rooted impulse stirred inside her. 

So they both drank. And they drank again. She lost track of how many beers she had, and even more, how much it cost them, but she also didn’t care. Kiara liked the bubbly, numbing sensation that spread through her body. She liked that she laughed until her stomach ached. She liked that JJ was laughing, too, and that the corners of his eyes wrinkled when he did it. It was St. Patrick’s Day in Ireland all over again. Although, this time, she thought she was in for more trouble than just a few days’ hangover.

***

JJ woke up on March 17 to a distinctly female, “Shit.”

He didn’t move, aside from blinking his eyes open to find Kiara standing at the side of his bed, wearing nothing but a bra, underwear, and a pair of socks he recognized immediately as the ones he had on last night. Either that, or she happened to also own a pair with little shamrocks and pots of gold imprinted. Although judging by her vocal opposition to the holiday, he had a feeling that wasn’t the case.

Kiara still hadn’t noticed him, her head in her hands, rubbing her temples. He took the opportunity to let his eyes wander over her nearly-bare chest, her stomach, her long legs—felt his breath hitch in his throat. Then he ran a hand over his face, and couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped his mouth, which caused her to jump and hug her arms over her breasts, rushing to hide behind the side of the dresser in the corner of his room. JJ thought she might be glaring at him, but her wide, panicked eyes weren’t conveying the message very well. 

“So…” JJ said, because someone had to speak eventually.

“What the hell happened last night?” She was whispering, as though anyone more than John B and the rooster in the yard would hear them.

JJ pushed himself up onto his elbows, squinting at her, still struggling to let the daylight in. “Did we…”

“We did _not_!” 

“But then…” His gaze must’ve drifted because she hugged herself tighter, crouching down to hide herself better. “You’re…”

“Missing clothes? Yeah, I noticed,” she said, scanning the floor, then stopped at her feet. “These...aren’t mine.”

“Yeah, because they’re mine. What are you stealing my socks for?”

“I didn’t _steal_ them!” Kiara ripped the socks off her feet and tossed them at his face. Then she took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Okay, it’s fine. Nothing happened. Nothing happened.”

“You don’t know that, though,” JJ said. “Maybe you should check.”

She blinked, her jaw set. “ _Check?_ You want me to fucking _check_?”

“Jesus, Kie. I don’t know.” He groaned and scratched the back of his neck. “I thought there was a way to...I don’t know. Never mind.”

“Why don’t _you_ check then?” 

JJ shrugged, lifted the blankets and peeked under. “Looks happy to me. Maybe a little tired...hungry.”

“You’re disgusting.” She scowled, then searched the room again. “I think my clothes are over on the other side there. Can you just...close your eyes for a second?”

“Only a second?” 

Kiara rolled her eyes. “Just do it. I’ll tell you when to open.” 

“Gotcha.” He obeyed, sitting up to lean his back against the wall. Her footsteps padded across the room, the wooden floorboards creaking beneath her. There was a rustle and a few grunts while she put her clothes back on. 

“Okay, open.” Her hair was a bit of a mess, but she was fully dressed. “Thank you.”

Then there was a knock on the door, and without thinking, JJ said, “Open!”

It happened in the blink of an eye—Kiara ducking down behind the bed as John B opened the door. He looked tired, but in much better shape than JJ was, and Kiara, for that matter.

“Hey, man,” John B said. “You want coffee?”

“Uh...yeah, sure. Sounds good. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Great.” He looked over JJ’s shoulder. “What about you, Kie? Coffee?”

“Fuck,” she muttered, slowly standing up. “I’m fine, thanks.”

John B nodded, shot JJ a grin, then closed the door behind him. 

“You sure? JB makes a mean pot of coffee,” JJ said. When he turned around to face Kiara, she was already staring at him, her mouth parted slightly. It was a look he hadn’t seen from her yet, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“What’s that...on your back?” she asked.

His brows furrowed and he reached behind him to feel his bare skin. Wincing, he realized he was touching the mark that bruised after his encounter with his father last week. JJ had only seen it once in the bathroom mirror after Luke left, and it was bigger than he would’ve thought, stretching across the width of his back. He almost forgot it was there.

“Oh...nothing,” JJ said, waving a hand. “Just an accident from work.”

“Right.” She nodded, biting her lip.

One of her curls hung over her cheek, framing the side of her face, and he resisted the urge to reach over and move it. Wasn’t sure where the sudden impulse came from in the first place. The barely risen sun slipping through the blinds cast a glow on her, making her hair appear lighter than usual, and her brown eyes were almost golden. Then he realized he only noticed this because they were both staring at each other. Her gaze dropped quickly, and she pushed the curl behind her ear. 

“Can we just...agree not to talk about this?” Kiara asked. “Not that anything really happened, but it’s probably just...you know…”

“No, yeah. Definitely.” JJ ran a hand through his hair. 

His shoulders relaxed, and he slid down so his back rested on the pillow. Sleeping with Kiara was one thing—a concept he hadn’t fully come to terms with yet. But sleeping with her knowing he’d be seeing her again whenever the next holiday came around was something else. Something complicated, and JJ didn’t do complicated. They had a good thing going, and there was no reason to screw it all up with one small misstep. 

That is, if anything even happened in the first place. JJ couldn’t think of any other situation that would’ve ended with both of them naked in his bedroom. But at the same time, he couldn’t imagine a Kiara—no matter how drunk—that would ever want to step foot in his bedroom in the first place. She was right, though. It was better not to think about it at all.

“I should...um...get going.” She brushed her legs off, but didn’t move.

“Yeah, I mean, unless you want to watch me get dressed, because that’s your other option.” he smirked.

Kiara shook her head. “You’re…”

“Sexy as hell? It’s okay, Kie. You can say it.”

“ _So_ not what I was going to say,” she said, although laughing. 

“But you were thinking it.”

“Do you ever take the day off?” 

“Nope,” he said.

“Well...enjoy your mean pot of coffee.”

“Oh, I will.”

She was halfway out the door now, but paused, her hand resting on the frame. “So what are your plans for Easter?”

“Hmm…” JJ brought a finger to his chin. “I’ll be in touch.”

Kiara smiled. “See you then.”

Once she left the room, he put some pants on. The smell of coffee drew him out of his bed. Out the window, Kie’s long hair danced behind her as she began walking up the driveway. Only then did he realize how much of an idiot he was.

JJ rushed out the door, pulling his shirt on, past John B at the kitchen table pouring coffee into two mugs, down the front porch steps until he caught up with her.

“Wait, Kie!”

She turned around, brows furrowed. “Yeah?”

“Do you...need a ride home?”

“Oh…” Kiara considered for a moment, then broke into a smile. “Yeah, sure. That’d be great, actually. Thanks. I don’t have any M&M’s for you this time, though.”

He smirked. “You’ll find some other way to repay me, I’m sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can imagine, I was looking forward to writing this chapter for a lot of reasons ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Basket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Easter Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long this chapter took, or at least how long it took compared to when I normally post. Life has gotten busy with the holidays and all that, but I'm so happy this is finally done, and we're almost at the halfway point!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The first thing Kiara did after JJ dropped her off was rush up to her bedroom to call Sarah. She only made it as far as the top of the stairs before Anna stopped her. Her mother had just left her own room, confronting her with arms crossed, and Kiara knew without question that she had been watching her out the window. The image alone brought her back to weekend nights in high school when she couldn’t go anywhere and do anything without her parents knowing about it.

“Where have you been?” Anna asked.

“I told you I was going out last night.”

“Not _all_ night.”

Kiara sighed. “I slept over at Sarah’s, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t text you.”

“That didn’t look like Sarah’s car.”

She didn’t think of that.

“Yeah, because...one of Ward’s landscapers gave me a ride.” It was terrible, but it was all she could come up with on the spot.

Anna narrowed her eyes at her, her hands on her hips. “Landscapers? At this time of year?”

Sometimes her mother was more perceptive than she gave her credit for—an unfortunate trait. 

“Okay, fine! It was JJ,” Kiara said.

“JJ?”

“You know, the guy who invited us to the bar. We’re sort of...holidating now.”

“Okay...” Anna said, staring at her blankly. “And you spent the night with this boy?”

“No! He was just giving me a ride,” she said, her patience thinning into a fine line. “I’m sorry, okay? And I don’t even know why I _should_ be sorry. I’m not sixteen anymore. I don’t even have to tell you where I’m going or who I’m with.”

Anna’s mouth parted slightly, and she could tell she struck a nerve. “Kiara, you are under our roof. And as long as you’re under our roof, you abide by _our_ rules. If you’re going to be out all night, you need to tell your father and I.”

“Okay! Message heard loud and clear,” Kiara said bitterly, closing her bedroom door behind her before her mother could get another word in. 

Leaning against the wall, she exhaled. It was harsh, but she also didn’t know any other way to end a conversation with her mom. She could lecture her for hours if Kiara let her, and sometimes what they really both needed, though ineffective, was not to talk at all. Let the dust settle and move on like nothing happened. 

Kiara FaceTimed Sarah as she searched her drawers for a change of clothes. Anything to rid herself of the events of the past ten hours. For a moment, she thought Sarah wasn’t going to answer, but then she saw her face appear on screen, tired but still alert. 

“Hey, Kie! I was just about to call you,” Sarah said, sitting up in her bed. A sly smile stretched across her lips. “So…”

“No! Sarah, listen. I need you to tell me what happened last night. Did—”

“Honey, I wasn’t in the room with you.”

Her cheeks flushed. “No, Sarah. Not that! Like, what happened before JJ and I left? What were we doing?”

Sarah shrugged. “As far as I could tell you guys were just talking at the bar. You seemed a little close, though. But nothing... _exciting_ happened, if that’s what you mean. You looked like two typical sexually frustrated, repressed adults.”

Kiara rolled her eyes. “Okay, but nothing happened?”

“Not in the bar, no. But I wouldn’t be surprised if…”

“Okay!” she almost shouted. “That’s all I wanted to know. Thank you.”

“Always here to help.” 

Then something popped into Kiara’s mind from last night, one of the few memories that stuck with her no matter how many beers she had.

“Hey, Sarah...were you...talking to John B last night?” 

“Uh...yeah...a little bit,” she said, then sighed. “Which reminds me I need to call Topper.”

Kiara raised a brow. “Did something happen?”

“No, no! God, no! We were just talking. He was really sweet actually.” Sarah smiled fondly, probably forgetting she was there. “But then Topper made a whole thing out of it afterwards. Thought we were flirting or something, but Kie, I swear _nothing_ happened. I don’t know what his problem is.”

None of this came as a surprise to Kiara, especially Topper’s behavior after seeing Sarah so much as speaking to another guy. She had wondered just how long it would take for Sarah to see Topper’s true colors—or at least, how long it would take for it to stick. This was far from being the first time her boyfriend overreacted. It was, however, the first time Kiara thought there might actually be reason for it.

Kiara saw the way Sarah and John B looked at each other on New Year’s Eve. Even if Sarah was completely oblivious to it, there was attraction there. But she trusted her friend. If Sarah said nothing happened, then nothing happened. Still, she wouldn’t be surprised if all the drinking let something slip unintentionally. After last night, she knew that much could be true.

“Okay, so, what then?” Kiara asked. “He just...threw a fit and stormed out?”

“Yep. He was supposed to stay over with me for the night, but...I don’t know. I think he just went back to his parents’ house. This was some time after you and JJ left. Then...um, John B came over to me again. I think I was crying or something, and he asked if I was okay…”

From the little Kiara knew of John B, she actually liked the guy. She hated to give him credit for doing what anyone should, but compared to Topper, he was easily Prince Charming. 

“But then...I don’t know. I guess I had a lot to drink and Topper already made me feel like shit because of him, so I kind of just told him to get lost and went to go call an Uber. And then I couldn’t really tell, but I think he was standing by the door. I thought he was being a creep or something, but—”

“He was making sure you got into the Uber,” Kiara said, because she could picture it clearly. 

Sarah just nodded, quiet for a moment before she continued. “But anyway, I didn’t hear from Topper the rest of the night and then I woke up this morning to, like, ten missed calls from him, and he texted me a bunch, too.” 

Kiara knew exactly where this was going, watched the cycle repeat itself for nearly a year now, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she _could_ watch it without saying something.

“Please just don’t apologize,” Kiara said.

“What do you mean?” Sarah frowned. “I have to call him back, and—”

“But don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t know, Kie.” She sighed. “What if he’s ri—”

“He’s not, okay? This is on him, so let him apologize. But please, just promise me you won’t.”

Sarah studied her, biting her lip, then smiled softly. “Okay, if you think so. I won’t.”

“Good.” Kiara smiled, too.

“What would I do without you, Kie?”

What a terrible thought that was—in regards to her relationship with Topper, at least.

“Nothing good,” she replied.

“Hey, by the way...whenever you talk to JJ again, can you maybe tell him I said sorry...to John B, I mean?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Kiara said.

One look at Sarah’s shy face, and the state of herself, and it occurred to Kiara that they might be tangled in the same web—a terrible, inescapable web, wrapped in tanned, strong-armed strands of silk. 

***

Not that JJ particularly cared what Kiara thought of him, but as her Easter holidate, she might appreciate that he was going to wear the same outfit he had on New Year’s Eve—being an earth-lover and all. At least, that’s what he told himself to justify the last-minute decision. 

He didn’t really celebrate Easter—not since his mom left, anyway—and as far as he remembered, never stepped foot in a church. So he was taking Kiara’s cue on the whole affair. Her only instructions via text were to come to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church at 9:45AM, and then, separately, to wear something nice. 

The idea of going to church without any prior experience, or spiritual beliefs for that matter, was a little daunting. Luckily, Pope and his parents would be there, too, even if they didn’t end up sitting together.

JJ did his best to stay quiet—no reason to wake John B up at the crack of dawn, too. But with all the time he spent putting the suit on, realizing it needed to be ironed, and actually locating the iron, he was a little behind schedule. In the process of pulling the pants back on, he knocked over the makeshift trash bucket in his room, swearing under his breath.

When he walked out into the kitchen and searched the fridge for something quick to eat, John B padded up to him, rubbing his eyes.

“Geez, bro,” John B mumbled. “You look like a kook.”

“Well, that’s the idea.” JJ took the cereal box out of the cabinet and poured some into his mouth. 

John B leaned against the wall, yawning. “So...who’s all going to be there?”

He shrugged, chewing. “Kie’s family, I guess.” Then the implications of John B’s question hit him, and he smirked. “Maybe Sarah.”

“That’s not why I was asking.” But his face turned pink.

“Uh huh. I’ll be sure to say hi to her boyfriend for you, too.”

“She’s still dating that guy?” 

“As far as I know,” JJ said, then winked. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

After finishing his cereal and heading for the door, John B called, “Wait!” and he turned around. “Do you think...if you see her…”

“I’ll tell her you’re madly in love and would gladly kill Topper for her if she wanted.”

“Shut up! Just...tell her I said I’m sorry...about the other night. St. Patrick’s Day.”

JJ frowned. “What did you do to her, John B?”

“Nothing! I didn’t do anything. She was just really upset. I think it had something to do with Topper. I should’ve...just tell her if you see her, okay?”

“Yeah...okay.” But JJ was just as confused as he was before he asked. 

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church wasn’t exactly kook territory, but it might as well have been with the way everyone was spruced up on a Sunday—especially _this_ Sunday. By the time JJ parked in the lot, there was already a large crowd assembling in the yard, a sea of pastel dresses and black and white suits. He was relieved to see that he correctly interpreted Kie’s vague directions to dress ‘nice.’

While he couldn’t yet locate Kie or her family in the crowd, he did find the Heywards off to the side. As JJ approached, Pope’s back was to him, but he turned around after seeing the puzzled, yet stunned looks on his parents’ faces. 

“Didn’t think you’d actually show,” Pope said, pulling him into a one-armed side hug. 

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this...holiest of days.”

“Uh huh,” Heyward said, while his wife shook her head disapprovingly. 

“Roger, Yvonne, nice to see you again,” JJ said, offering his hand, which Heyward shook firmly.

“Silly boy.” Yvonne hugged him tightly, catching him off guard. “You and John B are always welcome, even when Pope is gone.”

He smiled. “Thank you, Mrs. Heyward.”

“You didn’t invite him here?” Pope asked.

“Pope, come on, man. JB in a church?” 

“I thought I’d see him here before I ever saw you.”

JJ shrugged. “Not my first choice.”

“So you’re still doing this...what are you and Kiara doing exactly?”

“Holidating,” he said, and Pope furrowed his brows. “We aren’t together, just each other’s date on holidays.”

Pope stared at him. “But you hate dating...and any form of commitment, actually.”

“It’s _holidating_ , bro. Totally different. None of that other shit.” JJ’s thoughts drifted to Kie’s half naked body standing in his bedroom, but quickly shook the image away before it took a life of its own. 

“But _why_?”

“Makes life a hell of a lot easier,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “Her family hates that she’s single, and girls won’t get the wrong idea from me anymore.”

“You mean Addison?” Pope said. “ _One_ girl?”

“You’re thinking about this too much, man,” JJ said. 

“So...this has nothing to do with that guy at the bar the other night? He seemed like an ex or…”

“What, Drew?” He snorted. “Her mom tried to set them up on Christmas or some shit. I don’t think she wants anything to do with him.”

“Huh. Poor guy.”

“Pope!” Yvonne called, arm in arm with Heyward. “We’re going to take our seats now, honey.”

“Be right there!” Pope returned, then turned back to JJ. “You coming or…?”

“I should find Kie first,” JJ said, looking around. “Maybe I’ll see you in there.”

Pope nodded, then rushed over to catch up with his parents. Somehow, the crowd got even larger than when JJ first arrived, pouring over into the parking lot and on the side of the street. He checked his phone, just now seeing all the texts Kie sent him— _Where are you? Hello? JJ? Dude, you better not have gotten lost. Or gone back to sleep. We have to head in soon. Are you here or what?_

JJ sent back a quick response and made his way through the mob. He caught sight of Rafe, Topper, and another guy with them that he didn’t know the name of. John B would be happy to know Sarah was here after all—or maybe not so happy, given the circumstances. Eventually, he saw the blonde with the rest of her family, and, after turning the corner, Kie’s dark curly hair amongst a large cluster of people, her pale yellow dress flowing in the spring breeze. 

As he got closer, he realized that they all must be part of her family. When she told him they’d be coming to church, he had assumed that meant her parents, maybe a couple others, but from what he could count there were nearly a dozen of them. 

Parents he could deal with, but sitting in a pew with an entire clan of kooks for an hour when he knew next to nothing about religious etiquette seemed impossible. 

***

“JJ!” Kiara called out as soon as she spotted the head of messy blonde hair. His eyes widened, and he swiftly made his way over. 

In many ways, his arrival was a God-send. She didn’t think she could listen to any more of Uncle George’s thinly veiled sexist remarks about some of the young women’s dresses or Elijah’s ear-splitting protests while Aunt Julia did nothing to reprimand him. But it all came to halt when JJ approached—many pairs of eyes on him, watching his every movement like he was wearing nothing but a pair of bunny ears. 

He was a dog with his tail tucked between his legs in their presence, and it was easily the most docile Kiara had ever seen him. She took his arm in her own, and said, “Everyone, this is JJ. JJ...uh...this is everyone.”

“Hello, young man.” Nana smiled, offering a gracious nod. “Lovely to have you here with us.”

“Thank you...ma’am,” JJ said.

Mike was civil enough, offering him a firm handshake and a smile, though shot a hesitant glance in Kiara’s direction. Julia and George barely acknowledged his existence, Julia finally paying attention to her son, and George pretending he was looking for someone. Lola, who likely didn’t even know he was here, had her eyes glued to her phone. 

“JJ,” Anna said his name as though trying to memorize it, her eyes scanning his attire, then finally his face. “JJ Maybank?”

He nodded. “Yes, uh...ma’am.”

“Wonderful to finally meet you.” She smiled, her gaze faltering as she made eye contact with Kiara. 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Lola asked.

“No!” Kiara and JJ said at the same time, glancing at each other before Kiara continued. “No. I mean...he’s just...we’re just here together. As friends.”

Lola frowned, turning her focus back to her screen.

“Just heard from Tommy,” Mike said, looking up from his own phone. “They’re both inside. We better get in there if we all want seats together.”

Once the rest of the family started walking, JJ moved closer to Kiara, and whispered, “When you said your family was coming, I didn’t think you meant a whole party bus.”

“This isn’t even everyone,” Kiara said. “My cousin Tamara and her boyfriend will be at brunch.”

“Oh, so they get to skip out on the boring part?”

“Trust me, I would if I could. But if I ever said no to church on Easter, I think my parents would actually kick me out.”

“Maybe I should’ve been your cousin’s holidate instead,” JJ said.

She nudged his arm with her elbow, as they slid into a pew next to her parents. Somehow, all eleven of them managed to stay together. Next to her, JJ’s hands were fidgeting and one of his legs vibrated, shaking the whole bench. Mike narrowed his eyes at him, even though JJ wasn’t looking in his direction, and Kiara shook her head slowly. 

“It’ll be over before you know it,” she whispered.

“You sure about that?” JJ whispered back.

Kiara was strangely reminded of Valentine’s Day and the night they spent talking over a movie, much to the audience members’ displeasure. Only this time around, laughing while the priest preached about the resurrection of Jesus would have far worse consequences. 

A few minutes later, the procession arrived and the service began. When everyone stood, JJ’s head darted around, and he quickly followed suit. While the choir sang, he rocked back and forth on his heels, Kiara watching out of the corner of her eye. It would be funny if she didn’t think he was already getting on her parents’ nerves, and the last thing she needed was another scathing critique from her mother. 

Maybe it was the fact that she hadn’t been to church since last Easter, or JJ’s incessant twitching and dramatic facial expressions, but Kiara felt that this might just end up being the longest hour of her life. A lector—someone she vaguely recognized from high school—came up to the podium to read the Gospel, and JJ mimed falling asleep. Kiara almost laughed, but a grotesque choking sound came out instead, to which both Anna and Mike turned to glare at her. JJ’s devious grin only made her want to laugh more. She shook her head at him, but her smile probably wasn’t getting the message across very well, because he shot her a wink, stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning back on the bench. Kiara pulled him up gently by the arm, and he frowned. 

Eventually, JJ got the hang of the routine, switching between standing, sitting back down, and kneeling. When it came to receiving the Eucharist, JJ turned around with pleading eyes as he approached the front of the line. Kiara crossed her arms over her chest, nodding at him. He furrowed his brows, but she was glad to see he understood when he stood before the priest. After he was blessed, he was blatantly out of place as he walked slowly back to his seat, watching everyone around him. 

Kiara herself wasn’t too sure how she felt about God these days. Perhaps it was slightly sacrilegious, but she took the Eucharist anyway. She was far from being the most faithful person here, but she _did_ believe, or wanted to anyway, and that had to count for something. Besides, it’s not as though she could act any differently with her parents right behind her. 

“You could’ve warned me about that,” JJ said quietly after she sat back down. 

“Sorry,” she said. “Next time I’ll print out a comprehensive church guide for you.”

“Or next time we just forget the church part.”

For the most part, JJ behaved himself for the rest of the service. Kiara only had to silently scold him once or twice. It wasn’t the best feeling acting like her own mother, but it was better than Anna herself chiding both of them. 

Elijah was uncharacteristically quiet for the entire service. Julia shoving a lollipop into his mouth might’ve had something to do with it. Tommy and Gabrielle turned around once it was over, greeting Kiara and introducing themselves to JJ. Unlike her parents, there was no hidden animosity or judgment towards him. Or if there was, they did a much better job of hiding it. Tommy even asked about his job, having recognized him from Kenny’s Auto Shop in town. Nana even moved closer to listen as they talked. While he and JJ were engaged in polite conversation, Gabrielle flashed Kiara a knowing look, which she dismissed by shaking her head. 

Once they all exited the church, JJ exhaled loudly.

“That was the longest hour of my life,” he said.

“Remind me to never let you walk into a church again.” Kiara smirked. “But at least the hardest part is over.”

“Do we get to eat now?” His eyes widened, and she nodded. “Oh, thank God!” 

“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain, young man,” George scolded with a finger as he passed. 

“My bad, sir!” JJ hung his head low. “Please forgive me my trust pass.”

George stared at him wide-eyed, throwing uneasy glances over his shoulder as he went to join Julia and the kids, and Kiara couldn’t resist a smile. When he was out of earshot, they both laughed.

“It’s trespass, you know,” she said.

JJ waved a hand. “Close enough.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you retained anything at all.” Kiara linked arms with him, leading him to the parking lot. 

***

When Kiara said the words “Island Club,” JJ nearly got back in his truck and drove away. Going once was insane. Going again meant permanent damage. He might not be able to return to the Chateau without John B accusing him of turning full kook, and worse, he’d have no reason to argue. 

Then she explained they weren’t actually _going_ to the Island Club. Rather, the Island Club was hosting the brunch and Easter Egg hunt event at the park next to the church. JJ couldn’t see the difference, but it was better than the alternative. 

Not to mention it seemed a little extraneous for them all to attend an egg hunt when the only one participating was Kiara’s young cousin, Elijah. And from what JJ observed of him thus far, nothing about the boy suggested he would willingly participate in such an event. At least, not until after he could kick and scream about it first. 

At the far end of the park, an array of round white tables with striped umbrellas were set up, uniformed servers walking around with trays, and a long buffet was covered in large platters of food and drinks. JJ was already eyeing the mimosas. Each table had a placecard with names printed in decorative cursive, next to a full bouquet of white, pink, and yellow flowers. It may not have been the Island Club, but the whole arrangement had its name written all over it. Literally—the napkins all had the logo stitched on. If John B or Pope saw him here, he wouldn’t be able to hear the end of it. 

A tall woman with dark wavy hair and a deep-tanned man waved from one of the larger tables, and Kie’s dad waved back—must’ve been her cousin and the boyfriend. The resemblance between Kie and her cousin was impossible to miss. Although, the cousin’s hair was shorter and far less curly, her nose was thinner, and then, of course, there was the pregnancy. Still, if Kie had told him they were siblings he would’ve believed her. 

“You must be JJ!” The cousin beamed, stretching her arm across the table to shake his hand. “I’m Tamara, Kie’s cousin.”

“JJ,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Carlos,” the boyfriend said. “Honorary member of the Carrera clan.”

Tamara shot Carlos a disapproving look, which must’ve been customary because no one else reacted. Kie beckoned JJ over to the seat next to her, as one of the servers approached the table with a tray of waters. Her uncle, Tommy, immediately excused himself to get a “real drink” while his wife, Gabrielle examined the stitched napkins with a frown. George downed a glass of water before JJ had a chance to blink. He barely finished before Julia pulled him up by the arm to lead Elijah over to the small crowd of children preparing for the egg hunt. 

“Mommy! Where’s the candy?” the boy demanded.

“You have to find the eggs first, Eli.”

“But, Mommy! I don’t _want_ to!” He stomped his feet all the way as his mother steered him by the shoulders, George lingering behind them like an afterthought.

JJ turned to Kie. “How old is he?”

“Eight,” she replied, taking a sip of water. “Although, I’d like to see a birth certificate.”

“Drew!”

It was Kie’s mother, her wide, eager eyes trained on the dark-haired man with glasses passing by, who was in fact Drew. Instinctively, JJ looked to Kie, and she hid her head in her hands. He resisted the urge to smirk. 

Evidently, Anna caught the guy off guard, because Drew froze in place, mouth ajar, stammering as he adjusted his glasses. “Mrs. Carrera...l-lovely to see you. His gaze flickered to Kie, who was still very intent on her poor effort at concealing herself. 

“I’m so glad you’re here, Drew! I thought we might run into you,” Anna said, smiling so wide JJ thought the woman might rip apart at the seams. “My daughter’s here as well. You remember Kiara? From Christmas?”

If this was how her mother reacted on pure coincidence, JJ couldn’t imagine what she was like when she invited Drew over on Christmas Eve. But with one look at Kie’s burning brown eyes, he could take a guess. 

“Hi, Drew.” Kie pulled a smile. “How are you?”

“Uh...great. How are you?”

“Fantastic.”

“Kiara, honey, why don’t you make room for Drew to join us?” Anna’s forceful gaze was enough to make even JJ sink in his chair.

“Oh, that’s alright, Mrs. Carrera,” Drew said. “I was actually just on my way to get another drink. My family’s back over there. It was great seeing you all!”

“Oh…” Anna frowned. “Well, tell them I said hello and Happy Easter!”

“I will.” Drew smiled, and then he was gone, but back in the direction he came from. 

JJ was confused, too. Judging by what Kie told him, and Drew’s behavior on St. Patrick’s Day, JJ thought he would jump at the chance to spend more time with her. Then again, Mrs. Carrera’s forward personality probably didn’t do much to help his nerves. Next to him, Kie seemed just as stunned, but relieved. 

“Would it kill you to be just a little polite?” Anna said, turning on her.

Kie’s jaw dropped. “Oh, _I’m_ being rude? I’m not the one trying to set their daughter up with someone when she’s literally sitting here with a date.”

The word _date_ nearly made JJ flinch. And yet, it didn’t sound so terrible hearing it aloud. He and Kie were each other’s dates. They just weren’t necessarily _on_ a date. It was a mutually beneficial deal, and just so happened to be an enjoyable one. JJ wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“Oh, it _is_ a date now? Because that’s not what you told me earlier,” Anna said.

“I don’t care what you want to call it!” Kie shouted, and everyone around the table winced. “The point is I’m here with someone, so you need to stop trying to set me up with Drew, because guess what? It’s not going to happen.”

“You’ve barely given the guy a chance, honey. And if you don’t want to date him, that’s fine. We can just find you some—”

“I’m literally telling you I don’t want to date the guy! This is your problem, Mom! You don’t know when to stop!” Kie was half out of her seat at this point. 

Only a few months ago, JJ thought she was exaggerating. But now he could almost sympathize with her. Anna Carrera was the kind of person who couldn’t take no for an answer, and he knew more than his share of those. 

Anna’s eyes darted around anxiously. “Kiara, honey, we can talk about this later, okay?”

Kie laughed. “I doubt it.”

“Kiara,” her mother said fiercely. 

Their conversation continued wordlessly through their angry stares across the table. The tension between them was so heavy, JJ wanted to crawl inside of himself. Watching from afar, it would’ve been entertaining. But sitting right in the middle of them, he didn’t know where to look to escape.

Tamara pushed up from the table. “Carlos and I got married.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Not again,” Gabrielle said, bringing her hands to her face. George frowned at her, then made some sort of hand gesture across his chest that JJ vaguely recognized from the church service. 

***

Kiara wouldn’t always have Tamara around to save her from her mother—she was running out of shocking news to spring on the family. But for now, she was endlessly grateful for her cousin’s impeccable timing. 

She had to admit she was impressed with Tamara’s ability to withstand it all, her parents’ exasperation, Julia and George’s silent judgment, and the general onslaught of questioning. If anything, it just made Kiara want to wait until she died before she ever told her family she so much as went on a date with someone. 

The issue wasn’t that they got married _after_ the pregnancy, but rather that they eloped secretly, and that not even Tommy and Gabrielle were present for the occasion. Even Kiara, who wasn’t the slightest bit angry about the baby announcement, found herself disappointed. She was never one to judge how or if people got married, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about being a bridesmaid at Tamara’s wedding in the near future.

It took half an hour and a lot of explaining on Tamara’s part before the family either calmed down or excused themselves. Eventually, it was just Kiara, JJ, Tamara, Carlos, and Lola—the latter only at the table because she hadn’t lifted her head once since the news. Kiara was surprised JJ was still here; she would’ve left as soon as her mother started raising her voice. But she was glad he was. 

“Well, looks like you’ve been officially indoctrinated into the Carrera clan, JJ,” Tamara said, taking a sip of water. 

“Now that you’ve seen it all happen once, you’ll be used to it next time,” Carlos added with a smile. 

“Next time?” JJ’s eyes widened. 

“Don’t scare the guy, please,” Kiara said. “There’s still more holidays.”

“Does _holidating_ include weddings?” Tamara wiggled her eyebrows.

She frowned. “But you already….wait—are you actually…”

“What good is getting married if you only do it once?” Carlos grinned, and Tamara elbowed him. 

Maybe it was the mimosas, or all the pent up stress after arguing with her mother, but Kiara wanted to cry. She reached over to hug her cousin, smiling into her shoulder.

“I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle,” Kiara whispered.

“I can’t wait for Carlos to remember it this time,” Tamara said, then after a pointed look from her husband, “Well...hopefully.”

“I’ll be sober. I promise.” Carlos held his arms up. “But after that whole ordeal, I could use a mimosa.”

Tamara stood up. “I’ll go with you. I could use, like, five of those muffins.”

Carlos took her hand, leading her to the buffet table. Her cousin did in fact grab five muffins, stuffing them all into one arm while several onlookers raised eyebrows. After taking a glass, Carlos reached over to alleviate her struggle, Tamara laughing with a mouthful at his clumsiness. Kiara had a hard time imagining herself loving someone long enough to feel so comfortable, to feel so completely herself. But Tamara and Carlos made it look like the easiest thing in the world.

Then she turned back to JJ. 

“I’m really sorry for...all of that,” she said. “I thought my mom and I would actually make it through a family gathering without fighting for once, but that was...a little unrealistic, I guess.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He offered a smile. “Better than...uh, most kooks I’ve come across.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Kiara laughed, but she didn’t miss the beat of hesitation, the flicker of something bitter and hollow. And there it was again—the glimpse of another JJ. A JJ she hadn’t fully come to know, because even though it had been months, their time together amounted to less than a week. In the grand scheme of things, he was little more than a stranger to her. Yet, in many ways, she felt like she had known him her whole life. It was a strange dichotomy she couldn’t begin to understand.

Drew came into her peripheral vision, lifting a young girl into his arms as she giggled. She’d have to apologize to him eventually. While she couldn’t recall everything she did on St. Patrick’s Day, she was sure she was way too harsh on him. And once again, she’d have to apologize for her mother, too. 

“So, why don’t you date Drew?” JJ asked. “He seems like a nice guy...good with kids. Didn’t you say he’s a lawyer, too?”

“He is,” she replied, watching Drew twirl the girl around in the air. “He’s just not...I don’t know. He’s a good looking guy, obviously. I’m just not...attracted to him at all. I don’t know if my mom ruined him for me or not, but either way, I’m really not interested.”

JJ chewed his lip, his tongue in his cheek. “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Just seems like your type. That’s all.”

She squinted at him. “I don’t have a type.”

“Everyone has a type.”

“Right, and I suppose yours is any woman that blinks and breathes.”

He gasped. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

“Are you sure he’s not your boyfriend?” Lola asked, her phone nowhere in sight for once.

“Yes,” they said at the same time, and to change the subject, Kiara asked, “How’s your boyfriend, by the way? The one you mentioned at Christmas. Mario?”

Lola’s nose wrinkled. “You mean Marcus? We broke up months ago.” 

Then she got up and left. Kiara and JJ looked at each other, eyes wide before breaking into laughter. 

“I think you triggered her,” JJ said.

“Guess so. Heartbreak is hard at that age, though.”

He raised a brow. “Relationships aren’t real when you’re thirteen.”

“Exactly,” she said. “They’re experiencing it for the first time.”

“She’ll get over it.”

“Who turned your heart into stone?”

She must’ve struck a nerve, because his jaw clenched. Although, the emotion didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No one.”

Maybe she was treading dangerous ground, but she pushed forward. 

“No one? Like you’ve never been in a relationship?”

“Yeah.” JJ didn’t even blink. “What’s your point?”

“Nothing,” she said firmly. “Nothing at all.”

If she meant to hide her surprise, she didn’t do a good job of it. Kiara would never admit it to his face, but objectively speaking, he was an attractive guy. She was never shocked when he made off-hand comments about his one-night-stands. But _never been in a relationship_? She simply couldn’t picture it. In that moment, it was difficult not to rewind the past few months and analyze everything that happened. Everything he told her—like Addison Brooks being too clingy on Christmas Eve. Maybe she was just an innocent girl, the latest in a long line of hearts JJ crushed into a million pieces. Or maybe he was just like Kiara—it never felt right. 

The strands of the web were spinning out of control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely another filler chapter/relationship development chapter but they're honestly the most fun to write anyway.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. The Thing With Feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally halfway through! 
> 
> The title is part of a line from the poem "Hope is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson. 
> 
> Lots of ~feelings~ in this chapter, and I think it's going to be that way with every chapter from here on out as well because we're getting to a lot of the good stuff.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The long-barren trees grew into their green foliage, bringing the promise of spring. However, the morning breezes quelled any hopes of a premature summer. It was warm enough now that Kildare County didn’t feel so empty—tourons were beginning to make their way to the Outer Banks while most of the country was still stuck in its cold trap, desperate for a glimpse of brighter and beach-filled days ahead. 

For JJ, this meant more customers at Kenny’s Auto Shop, which meant more hours—but also more pay. He was one of the younger mechanics, but he also happened to have worked there the longest, aside from Kenny. The high schoolers wouldn’t return until sometime in June, and most of the older guys didn’t stick around long; it was a temporary means of income until the next thing came along. JJ, however, had been here since he graduated. He was comfortable at Kenny’s, enjoyed it even, but realistically, it was also his only option. JJ didn’t have a next thing. For the foreseeable future at least, this was his _only_ thing.

All the years he spent counted for something though. He earned Kenny’s trust, making it easier for him to let things slide. Like today, for instance, when JJ was running a little late.

“I know! I know! I’m sorry,” JJ said, catching his breath as he rushed into the garage. 

Jackson and Randy looked up from the car they were currently working on, sniggering to themselves. Kenny was standing by the makeshift desk pushed against the wall, arms crossed, looking at him expectantly. It was worth noting Kenny’s coffee still had steam billowing from the cup. 

“The Nissan over there.” Kenny pointed behind him. “Routine check.”

“Yes, sir! On it.” 

One of the many things he appreciated about Kenny was that he moved on from things quickly. If he didn’t think it was a big deal, then he didn’t make it a big deal. And in Kenny’s book, being fifteen minutes late was far from a big deal, even if it was a minor inconvenience to the guys—not to mention the customer. 

JJ caught sight of the man who presumably owned the Nissan through the window in the sitting room, drumming his fingers on his leg impatiently and peering over at his car every few seconds, as though he thought it was going to disappear if someone didn’t attend to it immediately. JJ took that as his cue to get right to work. 

As he checked under the hood, he heard a mournful groan from the next car over, where Jackson stood, clutching his arm. Kenny put his coffee down and rushed over. JJ thought he saw a wide line of blood. With all the clamor echoing in the garage, he couldn’t quite make out what Jackson said as he gestured to underneath the car, probably explaining what happened. Then there was a lull in the noise and he could hear them perfectly. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Kenny asked. “I could give Alice a call. She might be able to—”

The name Alice didn’t leave his mouth often, but JJ heard it enough to make the connection that she was Kenny’s ex wife. From what he gathered, she was also a doctor and still lived here in Kildare. Judging by Kenny’s overall indifference towards her, they must’ve separated long before JJ started working at the shop. 

“I’m alright. Really.” Jackson rubbed his arm, grabbing a paper towel from the box of tools beside him. 

Kenny nodded, giving him a pat on the back. When he passed by, JJ turned his attention back to the Nissan. Jackson didn’t appear to be _alright_ , wrapping a line of paper towels around his bicep, but he knew better than to bother someone when they had control of the situation.

He finished checking the Nissan, making up for lost time, and the anxious owner looked significantly less miserable when JJ handed him the keys. Once the man left, he returned to the garage—just as an old pick-up truck pulled into the lot.

JJ stopped in his tracks, felt his breath hitch in his throat. Never once, in nearly five years of working here, did Luke Maybank ever show up at Kenny’s. At least, not while he was present. After their last conversation, he knew exactly what it meant. So he retreated into the back corner, hoping the dim lighting and large Sedan would hide him long enough for Luke to take a quick look and come to the conclusion he wasn’t there. No such luck.

His father must’ve already seen him because he wandered into the garage, walking right over to JJ, a horrible, clever smile stretching across his face. JJ didn’t know when he started feeling his heartbeat in his ears. 

“Not hiding from me, are you, son?”

“No,” JJ said with conviction. His only solace was that they were surrounded by at least half a dozen more people. If this conversation went as predicted, at least Luke couldn’t resort to his fists. It wasn’t much, but it was something. 

Luke chuckled, and his stomach turned. He picked up a wrench, partially because it helped ground him. Partially to hopefully give his father the hint that now was not the time to talk. As if he didn’t already know that by showing up to Kenny’s in the first place.

“You remember what we talked about, don’t you?” Luke asked.

“Now’s really not the time for this, Dad.” JJ looked around. A few of the guys walked out of the garage, but Jackson and Kenny were still there, Kenny giving JJ and Luke a strange look. 

“How else am I supposed to find you, kid? You don’t want me showing up at your place…”

“That didn’t stop you the first time,” he muttered.

“What was that, boy?” Luke’s sharp tone grated all his senses. 

“I just meant...can we talk about this later? I’m off in a few hours.”

The sound of his father’s laughter, always full of bitter disdain, made him flinch.

“Is that how it is now? You get to boss me around, huh? I’m here now, so we’re gonna talk.”

All JJ could do was nod. Luke might not be able to react how he normally would, but JJ was also in a position where raising his voice at his father might just cost him his job. Kenny was flexible about a lot of things. Causing a scene in the middle of the garage, on the other hand, was something JJ didn’t think he would take lightly—regardless of how much Kenny liked him. 

“I’ll get it to you this weekend, okay?” It was all JJ could do not to look away from his father’s stern gaze, green eyes a stormy gray in the dark corner of the room. 

“This weekend,” Luke repeated. “You know you’re already late, boy?”

“I know, Dad,” he said, twisting the wrench in his hand. The only thing preventing him from digging his nails into the skin of his palm. “By Friday. I promise.”

His father studied him, pressing his lips together into a frown. If they were anywhere else—his house, the backyard of the Chateau—JJ knew this was the part where his anger would get the better of him and he would raise a hand over his son’s head, grab him by the shirt, or spit in his face. Fortunately for JJ, he couldn’t do any of those things, but it probably took everything in him not to.

“Okay,” Luke finally settled on, and his smile returned. “Friday, then.” 

He patted JJ on the shoulder, JJ wincing at his touch. That kind of contact was always the worst, made him feel guilty for expecting the worst. Worse—convinced him, even if only for a moment, that Luke Maybank wasn’t such a terrible parent. That maybe some part of him cared his son, craved his companionship. JJ wondered if he would always be stuck with that same hopeful, gut-wrenching feeling. Watching his father leave the garage, he certainly couldn’t imagine it going away anytime soon.

By the time his shift ended, it was mid-afternoon. He realized he hadn’t eaten anything all morning, and he didn’t feel much like going home just yet.

***

All throughout high school, Kiara enjoyed working at The Wreck. Not only was the pay pretty good, and the food free, but her boss was her father. In many ways, it could’ve been a drawback, but mostly, it meant she could get away with a lot of things she imagined she normally wouldn’t be able to anywhere else—messing up orders, showing up late, or missing shifts altogether. Sure, he wasn’t happy. But it’s not as though he would ever fire her. 

The Wreck always served as a form of comfort to her, especially after attending Kook Academy. High school were some of the worst days of her life, at least until she met Sarah. But coming back to The Wreck everyday after school was like letting out a sigh of relief. 

Now though, it felt like a large, glaring reminder of everything she left behind. For the better part of last year, all she wanted was to come home, spend time with Sarah, and yes, see her parents again. She knew she made the right decision coming back last December, but she just thought things would be a little different. By now, she pictured herself having found a new job and a place of her own. She didn’t think she would be right back at square one. Figuring out what to do with her life all over again. 

Her dream had always been to travel the world. Kiara tried looking for jobs, but after the past four years, everything else felt small and meaningless in comparison. Regardless of what her parents expected of her, she was never going to settle for just anything. But as the months dragged on, her patience was waning with them. 

Besides, busing tables at The Wreck for a couple hours after school was one thing. Waking up everyday to go to to work with your father from 9 to 5 was another altogether. Between that and her mother’s persistence in setting her up with Drew, or any high class, trust fund, twenty-something man from the Island Club, she felt like her parents were seeping into every part of her life. The only time away from them was the few hours before bed when she would shut herself away in her room. It was like being pulled head-first back into her sixteen year-old self—and she loathed it. 

The closer it got to summer, the more Kiara was determined to get out. She wasn’t sure how, but she needed to leave The Wreck. See something different. _Do_ something different. Clearing a particularly messy table, just abandoned by a family with five children, she decided she would start to get more serious. Whether that was job searching or looking for an apartment, it was time for a change.

Piling plates and silverware onto the tray, someone sat down on a stool at the bar, while Kiara passed through the gate.

“Be right with you,” she said.

“Kie?”

She turned around, eyes widening. “JJ? I...what are you doing here?”

“Ordering lunch,” he replied. “I was going to ask you the same thing, but…”

“Yeah, no. I work here. My dad owns the place, actually.”

JJ blinked. “Really? I used to come here a lot. I never noticed.”

“Well, we wouldn’t have known each other, I guess,” she said, resolving to put the tray down.

“Right, right.” His brows furrowed like he was thinking long and hard about something. Probably wondering, like she was, if they had ever crossed paths without knowing. Kiara saw hundreds of customers on any given day, especially in the summer when they both would’ve been out of school. She’d be surprised if they hadn’t, even if they never really _saw_ each other.

“Um...so, what can I get you?” she asked, still caught off guard. Spending time with JJ was always planned in advance, never given too much thought. But something about finding him here in her family’s restaurant when they never texted or called about it beforehand had her mind racing. 

“Oh...uh...can I just get the bacon cheeseburger and fries?” he asked.

“Coming right up,” she said. Picking up the tray, she started towards the kitchen, then turned back around. “Did you want a drink with that?”

JJ considered for a moment, then smiled. “Surprise me.”

After placing the order slip on the counter, she brought the dishes to the sink, where her father approached her.

“Kiara, you’re working, remember,” he said, hands on his hips. “No messing around.”

It took her a moment to figure out what brought it on, but then she remembered JJ sitting at the bar, and more, Mike’s hesitant reaction to his presence at Easter. 

“I was just taking his order,” Kiara said. He gave her a pointed look before walking out to the dining area. 

She didn’t mention how he never confronted her when Sarah was here. Only on a hot, busy summer day would he pull Kiara away from her, but always made a point to tell her they could talk again soon. Suddenly when a boy dressed in old coveralls with grease stains and untidy blonde hair waltzed in, all of Mike’s tolerance conveniently disappeared. 

Kiara retrieved his order, filling a glass with iced tea, then bringing the tray out to set on the bar. 

“Service was a little slow, but I guess we’ll see if the food makes up for it,” JJ said, pulling the plate closer to him. She gave him a look, and he smiled. “Thanks.”

“Oh, he knows manners!”

“In theory.” He took a bite of the cheeseburger, chewing slowly. 

“What’s the consensus?”

After swallowing, he answered, “Not bad. A burger is a burger, though.”

“Seasoned food critics would disagree.”

“What makes you think I’m not one?”

“I know where you work, remember?” 

“Guess we’re even now, then,” he said. “What’d you get me to drink?”

He took a large sip before she could respond, then started coughing, his eyes watering.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked, finally managing to swallow.

“Lemon iced tea.”

“It’s disgusting.”

“Better than soda,” she said.

“Soda would never do that to me.”

Because she was a good waitress, Kiara got him a soda. She hated wasting a perfectly good iced tea, though. He also asked her for a straw, to which she frowned, and reluctantly retrieved a plastic straw. But not without explaining to him the harmful effects of plastic on the environment, not to mention the complete uselessness of them. He stared at her, eyes narrowed, mouthful of cheeseburger.

Mike came to direct her towards a couple who had just sat down in the back corner. It was outside the area of tables she was instructed to wait for the day, but Kiara knew the real reason he asked her to do it, and it had very little to do with which tables were whose.

When she returned to the bar, JJ had already scarfed down the burger and was halfway through the fries. 

As Kiara wrote down the couple’s order, he asked, “So, what are you doing this weekend?”

She looked up from her notepad, lips pursed. 

“Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m not asking you out, Carrera,” JJ said. “Just making conversation.”

“Thank God. I’d hate to have to step on your enormous ego.” He mimed ripping his heart out, and she couldn’t help but smile. “Probably working most of it. I don’t know. On Sunday I’m volunteering at this beach clean-up thing at Rixon’s.”

“Rixon’s Cove? I surf there all the time!”

Kiara blinked. “You surf?”

It sounded stupid even as she said it. If anyone in the Outer Banks surfed, it was the sun-kissed, blonde boy sitting in front of her. 

“Yeah, why?” he asked. “Do you?”

She nodded, and his eyes widened. “Really?”

“What?”

JJ held his arms up. “Just never would’ve guessed, that’s all. So...beach clean-up?”

“Yeah, you know, making sure the turtles and birds don’t eat all the shit people throw around,” she explained. “Plus, Sunday’s Earth Day.”

“There’s an _Earth_ Day? As in a holiday?”

“Yeah…” She frowned, and then it dawned on her. “No.”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You’re one of the last people I would bring to a beach clean-up,” Kiara said.

He scoffed. “I can clean a beach.”

“Oh, really?”

“Watch me,” JJ said, putting money on the countertop, and stood. “Text me the details.”

Kiara opened her mouth, but he was already halfway out the door.

***

Waking up at 6:30AM, JJ was beginning to second guess everything. Community programs were way out of his element, and wasn’t sure why he even agreed to it in the first place. Maybe some part of him didn’t like Kie’s strong stance on the matter, and this was just JJ prepared to prove her wrong. It definitely wasn’t because he wanted to spend more time with her. Not at all. 

Even the sun sitting on the horizon of Rixon’s Cove had barely risen. He was grateful, at least, that Kie had offered to pick him up. If he had to drive, he didn’t think he would make it at all.

When she pulled into the parking lot, there was already a small crowd on the beach, a woman in a dark polo shirt carrying a clipboard, directing the others. They were all silhouettes against the early morning sky. 

“You sure you’re up for this?” Kie asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you were half asleep the whole way here.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, sitting up straight. “I’m wide awake now and ready to save the turtles.”

“If you don’t scare them first.”

JJ frowned at her, but she was already getting out of the car and walking towards the group, so he jogged to catch up. As they approached, the clipboard woman turned to greet them with a smile, holding out her hand.

“Nora,” she said, even though the name was pinned on her shirt. 

“I’m Kiara Carrera. And this is my...friend, JJ. Maybank. He didn’t sign up before. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course! The more the merrier,” Nora said. “I just need you to sign your name here, JJ. And if you could just add your number and an emergency contact as well. 

“Emergency contact?” he repeated.

“Oh, it’s just procedure. Ever since that one time with the glass….well, anyway. Just their name and number is fine.”

He accepted the clipboard and the attached pen, scrawling his information. Pausing over the emergency contact space, he scratched the back of his head. This was the part where he would list one of his parents. But with one gone, and the other as good as, he wrote out John B’s name without a second thought. When he looked up, Kie was already staring at him, but she quickly turned away. 

“Great!” Nora exclaimed. “Here’s some gloves and a couple trash bags for you both. We’ve got most of this side covered, so I’ll send you two over past that log over there. How’s that?”

“Perfect! Thank you!” Kie said, pulling the gloves on. Once again, JJ practically had to run to keep up with her, while figuring out which glove should go on which hand. 

“She’s way too perky for 7:00AM,” he said.

“It’s her job. Besides, some people actually look forward to doing this.”

“Picking shit up? I doubt it.”

“Well, you certainly jumped on the opportunity.”

“Had to. My reputation was being called into question.”

Kie raised a brow. “And what reputation is that?”

“JJ Maybank—Outer Banks Golden Boy. Haven’t you heard?”

“Nope,” she said. “Don’t think that’s a thing.”

“You need to get out more.”

She shoved a trash bag into his arms. “Start picking shit up, Golden Boy.”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” JJ saluted her, and she just rolled her eyes, getting right to work.

He would never admit it to Kiara, but it turned out that picking shit up was actually a lot harder than it looked. At the very least, it required a lot of patience—something he severely lacked. Kie made it seem easy though, plugging her AirPods into her ears and pushing sand aside to pick up the tiniest pieces of plastic or cardboard, as though she had special garbage-detecting lenses. Meanwhile, JJ had trouble differentiating crushed aluminum from shells, and was sure some of the latter made its way into his bag. Not to mention she was already yards ahead of him; he didn’t think there’d be anything left to clean anyway.

“Oh, my God!” He thought he heard Kie say, but her voice was muffled in the wind. She was squatting down by the shoreline, her hands over her mouth and something round and large in front of her. As JJ got closer, he saw the round thing had four legs and a shell—a turtle flipped onto its back, the crashing waves preventing its efforts to right itself. Kie looked like she might cry.

“Can you go get help?” she asked, her sad eyes glued to the turtle.

JJ nodded, running back over to Nora, assuming that’s who Kie meant when she said help, and explained the situation to her. Nora stared at him wide-eyed, nearly dropping her clipboard. Then they both rushed over, Kie in the same position he left her in, completely frozen.

“I didn’t know what the best...I didn’t want to touch it without…” Her voice cracked.

“Don’t worry,” Nora said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “She’ll be okay. You did the right thing coming to get me. Do you want to help?”

Kie finally looked up. “Me?”

“She’s a big one,” she said with a smile, then turned to JJ, holding out her clipboard. “Mind holding this?”

“Uh...yeah, sure.” 

He still hadn’t fully processed what was going on, as Nora knelt down to join Kie, gently placing her hands on one side of the struggling turtle. Kie looked hesitant at first, but Nora nodded and she took the other side. The turtle started squirming more, and Nora paused, quietly shushing as though it were a baby. Kie bit her lip. JJ felt pretty useless holding the clipboard, but the last thing the turtle needed was another set of human hands scaring it. 

Slowly, they managed to lift the animal and carefully turn it over. As soon as its legs hit ground, the turtle disappeared into the water. Kie grinned, the emotion reaching all the way to her eyes. The way they glazed over, he thought she was beginning to cry for real now, but she quickly rubbed at them.

“That was amazing,” Kie said.

“Well, thank you for all your help!” Nora grinned, too. “Don’t see them here too often.”

“I really thought it was going to…”

“They can normally turn themselves over. Looks like she was having trouble with all the waves. It’s a good thing you saw her.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Kie finally stood, the bottom half of her leggings and sneakers completely soaked. 

“And thank you for holding this for me, young man,” Nora said, taking the clipboard back.

“No problem,” JJ said. 

Once Nora left, Kie brought a hand to her forehead and laughed. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“I’ve never seen one before,” he admitted. It felt stupid to say now, but Kie didn’t seem like she was really listening anyway.

“That was the coolest thing ever,” she said, looking out at the ocean, beaming. 

The baby curls framing her face blew gently with the breeze, her wide brown eyes glimmering, like the reflection of the rising sun dancing across the water. She was somewhere else, transcending into another world. Maybe it was the wind, but suddenly JJ felt like he couldn’t breathe.

***

It’s safe to say Kiara was on some sort of high right now. Only it felt much different from smoking a blunt—better, actually. The range of emotions she felt in just a few minutes’ time were still being processed. The shock and fear that struck her when she saw the turtle on its back, fighting against the waves, being pushed and pulled from the shore. The hope when Nora showed up. The relief and pure euphoria coursing through her after the creature made it safely back to the water. She had seen a few turtles in her lifetime, but helping to save one’s life was another thing altogether.

She had temporarily forgotten she was standing on a beach with a trash bag in her hand, soaked to her knees, when she turned to JJ. He had a dazed look in his eyes, mouth slightly parted—a strange expression she hadn’t seen on him before. It settled deep inside her with an unfamiliar warmth, spreading its wings. Waiting to take flight.

“Uh...so, how’s it going?” she asked, gesturing to his bag, which didn’t appear to have much in it.

“Oh...fine, I guess.” JJ shrugged. “Think you got all of it, though. So, looks like my job is one.”

Kiara gave him a pointed look. “Funny. Here I thought this experience would change you.”

“No sense changing what doesn’t need to be fixed,” he said it with a smirk, but there was no humor in his eyes.

Kiara couldn’t figure out if he was starting to let his guard down, or if she only noticed these moments the more time they spent together. Maybe both. Either way, he was hiding something, and she didn’t think they had quite reached the point where she could ask, and she wasn’t about to try after the smallest push she made on Easter. In fact, she was beginning to think she might never really _know_ JJ, and for some reason, that both frustrated and disappointed her. But she supposed it made the holidating process much smoother, anyway. She liked how things were going over the past few months, keeping each other at arm’s length. There was no reason to change that now. 

Since Kiara’s trash bag was full, she took to helping JJ with his, pointing out tiny pieces of glass or plastic wrap he would have otherwise missed. Despite it technically being a holiday, it didn’t feel anything like one. Aside from their accidental hang-out on Valentine’s Day, this was the first time she and JJ were spending time together free of obligation. They weren’t here as each other’s dates, just friends. No one here was under the pretense they were together, nor did they have to act like they were. 

In a strange way, Kiara was reminded of all her trips abroad. For one thing, her parents were nowhere to be found. She was doing something she was passionate about. And on top of it all, she was hanging out with someone besides Sarah. She might have physically been on the beach she grew up on, but she could just as well have been at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, or a marine research center in Australia. It was the most herself she felt in months. She even thought JJ was finally enjoying himself, or at least, had a general appreciation for what they were doing. 

“You know, I don’t think you’ve complained for, like,” Kiara checked her watch, “twenty-five minutes now.”

“Twenty-six is usually when I lose my patience,” he said. “Besides, I need all those girls over there to think I’m a regular Mother Teresa.”

“Good thing I’m here to prove otherwise.”

JJ smirked, eyes flickering with amusement. “Jealous, Kie?”

“Keep dreaming,” she said, shoving his now-full garbage bag back into his arms. “I know who you really are, and I wouldn’t wish it on any of them.”

“Know me, huh?”

“Shut up.” Kiara flushed, now realizing she might’ve overstepped. 

The volunteer group met back at the center of the beach, near the parking lot. Nora directed everyone to put their bags into the back of an open pick-up truck, checking off names as they went. After swinging both of theirs in, Nora pulled Kiara aside, JJ standing a few feet away, waiting. 

“I just wanted to thank you again for your help today, Kiara,” Nora said. “You were amazing.”

“Oh...thank you,” she said. “I just helped.”

“Still, that was quick thinking. Most would’ve tried it on their own, or just left it, and that might’ve ended up hurting the turtle in the long run. So thank you.”

“Yeah, of course! I’m glad I got to be part of it.”

“We could use more people like you down at the center. You’ve got passion.” Kiara blushed, as Nora offered a smile before turning to the approaching volunteer and lifting her pen.

When she looked back to JJ, she found him talking animatedly to one of the other volunteers, a girl with wavy, dark blonde hair who she vaguely recognized from high school. Kiara rolled her eyes, walking over.

“Hey,” she said, breaking up the conversation. “You ready to go?”

JJ stared at her for a moment. “Uh...yeah, sure. Let’s go.” Turning back to the girl, he said, “See you around.”

The girl giggled and Kiara had to fight the urge to scowl, even more so after seeing the much-too-satisfied expression on JJ’s face. She didn’t entertain it, wordlessly heading back to the car. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, climbing into the passenger seat. His tone didn’t match the smirk. 

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“You try to act like I’m jealous or something,” she said. “Because you want me to be so you can boost your own ego.”

JJ’s brows furrowed. “I’m not following….”

“Whatever. Just forget it.”

As she started the car, he stared at his phone screen, chewing the inside of his mouth, any trace of humor in his features gone.

“What?” Kiara said.

“Uh...nothing. Just...I guess there’s a plumber or someone at the house, so you can just drop me off at the end of the driveway.”

Maybe it was the wrinkle in his forehead, or the way he stared blankly out the window, but Kiara was beginning to recognize that look. The same one he made at Easter when they were talking about relationships. The same one he made when he held the volunteer clipboard and froze when Nora mentioned listing an emergency contact. It was small, barely noticeable if you weren’t paying attention. Kiara, however, did pay attention.

***

When JJ got the text from John B that Luke was at the Chateau, he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had forgotten all about agreeing to pay his father by Friday, much less that it was now already Sunday. Luke was serious about the arrangement; that much he knew. He just didn’t expect him to show up at his house again.

JJ’s first thought was John B. With him gone, he didn’t want to think about what Luke might do if his temper got the better of him. Luckily, his friend seemed okay, because he texted him minutes later. Explained that he kept insisting Luke leave, that JJ wasn’t there. They argued for a while, and eventually Luke resolved to wait for JJ to come back. John B didn’t know what else to do so he went back inside, figuring out how best to stall. JJ could only imagine what Luke was so desperate for that he needed the money today. Probably another unfulfilled drug deal. 

Assuring John B he would be home soon, despite John B’s pleas to stay away, he settled back in his seat and stared out the window, curling his hand into a fist and digging his nails into his palm. He didn’t miss the uncertain glances Kie shot him every once in a while. JJ could only hope she would do as he said—stop at the end of the driveway, then leave before she could find out what was really going on. 

“Are you…okay?” she tried.

When he turned to look at her, her eyes were back on the road, as though she hadn’t said anything at all.

“Yeah, fine,” he said. “Why?”

“Nothing. You just...never mind.” She looked briefly at his curled fist now laying on his leg. He relaxed his fingers. 

“Just reflecting on the whole thing,” JJ said, tongue in cheek. “Might journal about it.”

“You’re an asshole.”

Kie reached out to turn the volume up on the radio. It was that same Norah Jones song that played in their Uber on New Year’s Eve. He only remembered because he had never seen someone have such a strong reaction to her music, negative or otherwise. 

“Are you hijacking my radio?”

“Hey, it’s your car,” he said.

She sighed and changed the audio input to Bluetooth, blasting some reggae track that he figured was Bob Marley. JJ frowned and changed it back to the radio. Kie fixed him with a hard look, or as best as she could while driving. Switched it again. 

“My car, my music,” she said.

“You’re not getting a good tip.”

“Oh, you were going to pay me for my services?”

“Not anymore,” JJ said. “You’re a high maintenance driver. Two out of five stars.”

“Two, huh?”

“Two for the view.” He smirked.

“I _know_ you’re not objectifying me.”

“Would you prefer one star?”

Kie shook her head, but she couldn’t hide the corners of her lips turned upwards. 

Somehow, JJ had almost forgotten about his father until Kie slowed down at the end of the driveway, putting the car into park. He could see a corner of the tan pick-up truck peeking out from the edge of the Chateau—fortunately, no sign of Luke yet. There was no commotion, which hopefully meant John B was still safe. In fact, that only thing he could hear was his own breathing and the wind rustling the treetops. The silence was almost more eerie; JJ had no idea what he was about to walk into. 

He must not have been concealing his emotions very well, because Kie spoke again, her voice gentle, cautious.

“JJ, seriously, is everything okay?” Her eyes were wide and curious, but patient, and he wondered what he did to be put in this position.

John B and Pope were the only people who knew about JJ’s dad, and as far as he was concerned, it should stay that way for the rest of his life. They were the only ones who truly knew him. They understood that it was a part of his life he never wanted to talk about, but were also always there for him whenever something happened. There was no reason Kiara ever had to know. He didn’t want her to. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” JJ said, struggling to keep his tone under control. 

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve...I don’t know...seen a ghost, or something.”

He laughed humorlessly. “So, what, you’ve just been staring at me?”

Kie’s face fell, and she stammered. “No! I just—I’m sorry. I thought something—you seemed…”

“Well, maybe mind your own business.” The words came out more cold and vicious than he planned. She winced. “And stop being so fucking nosy.”

JJ thought that was the end of it, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind him. Then he heard her footsteps behind him, loud and purposeful. 

“Why are you being such a dick all the sudden?” Kie spat. “Look, I’m sorry if I was butting in. I was just concerned. That’s all, okay? Doesn’t mean you have to bite my head off!”

He glanced up at the house, praying no one heard them, especially Luke. Then he whipped around, panicking.

“Appreciate the concern, but I’m home, Mom. So you can leave now.”

“Excuse me? _Mom_? Real mature.”

The more she raised her voice, the louder his heart beat in his chest. Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought he heard the screen door in the front open and close.

“Kiara, you need to get the fuck out of here, okay?” He glanced behind him briefly, running a hand over his face. Desperation seeped into his voice. “ _Please_.”

“Well, since you asked nicely.” 

There was a rage in her eyes he always knew she was capable of, but never witnessed it for himself. Caught a glimpse of it when she argued with her mother on Easter. But that was a candlelit flame compared to the burning fire he saw now. 

The horrible image was seared into his mind long after she got back in her car and drove away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the first time a chapter has been left on a (sort of) cliffhanger? Anyway, sorry for the angst, but it had to happen.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. The Apple Fell Far From the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother's Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's only been *checks notes* three weeks since I posted the last chapter. Sorry for the delay!
> 
> I've been losing my mojo for this story, but before I even started writing this I was most looking forward to Fourth of July and on, so hopefully that gives me the inspiration to push through to the end.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

JJ’s messy blonde hair stood out in Kiara’s rearview mirror against the earthy blend of trees, dirt, and pavement. Against her better judgment, she kept looking—until she rounded the turn and he was gone.

Kiara turned the volume up on the radio, Marley blaring through the speakers, to the point where she felt her eardrums pounding. It was a welcome distraction. She thought that once she left his house, her anger would subside, but the drive back to Figure Eight only allowed more time for it to sink in. 

Maybe she pushed too far, but she couldn’t see how asking a simple, harmless question warranted such a reaction. It’s not as though she was impeding on his privacy. When he sat there in the passenger seat with that clouded, far-off look in his eyes, Kiara couldn’t see what else she was supposed to do. Not to mention his confusing behavior in the driveway. 

For some time now, she actually considered JJ to be a friend. Maybe the only friend she’s ever had other than Sarah. Late December in Kenny’s Auto Shop, New Year’s at the Island Club, laughing off his holidate offer—it all felt like a distant memory, but she still remembered every detail like it was only yesterday. 

They rarely spoke outside of holidays, but the couple hours they spent together at the bar or sitting in a pew at church somehow amounted to the equivalent of a years’-long relationship. Kiara met more people than she could count abroad, and she couldn’t explain it, but she was more comfortable with JJ in such a short time than she was with almost anyone she knew. 

Now, though, she wasn’t sure where to go from here. What she did know was that, for once, she was happy to be driving home. Even more, she was happy to find that both her parents’ cars were gone. However, she did find her Nana’s white Volkswagen parked outside. Kiara didn’t remember anyone mentioning she would be here today. Regardless, it was a blessing in disguise. Nana wouldn’t pester her.

When she opened the front door, she found Nana sitting on her designated armchair in the living room, clutching a teacup billowing with steam, and a paperback folded in her other hand. She looked up at Kiara as she entered, a warm smile stretched across her face. 

“Hi, Nana.” Kiara did her best to manage a smile, but judging by Nana’s sudden frown, it wasn’t her best performance.

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?” She gestured to the couch. Absent-mindedly, Kiara moved to fall back on the cushion.

“Nothing.”

Nana pursed her lips, fixing her with a hard stare; she didn’t have to say anything. Kiara sighed, rubbing her temple.

“It’s just...JJ.” It felt stupid and worthless speaking it aloud. If it were either of her parents, or anyone else in her family for that matter, they already would’ve posed the “is it a boy?” question. And she wouldn’t have dignified it with a response. She _hated_ that she was angry over JJ, yet it couldn’t be helped. Kiara knew Nana was already thinking it, but she didn’t say it, and it was one of the many reasons why she loved her company. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” She raised a brow and lowered her book onto her lap.

“No,” Kiara said. “I don’t know.”

Nana stayed quiet, taking a sip from her tea. 

She sighed. “I don’t even know what happened, really. I was just driving him home and he was acting weird. He’s always so...I mean, you saw him at Easter. He’s, like, always on, you know? But all the sudden, he was just...off. All I did was ask if he was okay, and he exploded. I wasn’t trying to be nosy or anything. It was...I don’t know. He was just being really rude, and then he told me to leave. It was really weird.”

“Hm.” Nana tapped her cup. “That doesn’t sound like him. He seems like a very nice young man.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Kiara said. She folded her arms, leaning back on the couch. “I just don’t understand what I did.”

“You know, sometimes sweetheart, it’s not about what _you_ did. You don’t always know what’s going on in someone’s head. It sounds to me like JJ had a lot on his mind and you were caught in the crossfire.”

Kiara frowned at her, narrowing her eyes. “Yeah, but that’s not really fair. It’s no excuse to be a jerk to someone.”

“No, you’re right. It’s not,” Nana said. “But we’re only human, aren’t we? I’m willing to bet JJ already feels bad for how he reacted.”

“Maybe.” _Yes_. 

Truthfully, she didn’t miss the pained expression on his face as she drove away—the frustration as he rubbed his hand over his eyes, pinching his nose. She saw all of it in the rear view mirror. But it was easier for anger’s sake to act as though he was intentional, and that was it. It was easier, too, to put distance between them. It wouldn’t matter if they texted each other come next holiday, because that’s all it was anyway. Just two people who met up once a month, pretended to be each other’s dates, then went home. There was no before, after, or in between. 

“I was the same when I was your age, you know. I couldn’t always admit to your Pop that there was something else wrong.”

Kiara opened her mouth, then realized she didn’t know if Nana was talking about her or JJ. Or both. She almost made a comment about the strange comparison, but then Nana continued.

“If it’s bothering you so much, you should just give him a call later.” Nana offered a smile. “Or text him.”

She laughed and shook her head.

“I don’t think so, Nana. It’s not a big deal. Honestly. If he wants to talk to me again, then yeah, sure. We’re not, like, friends, or anything, though, so it’s fine.”

“Not friends?” Nana tilted her head. “That’s not what it looked like to me, sweet girl.”

“We were just...I don’t know what you call it. But we barely talk anyway. Seriously, it’s fine.”

Even as she spoke, something heavy lodged itself in her throat. Today was a great day—the best one she had in a long time, actually. She helped clean a beach on Earth Day, saved a goddamn _turtle_ , and she was with JJ. JJ, who made her forget about everything, even if only for an hour or two. JJ, whose snarky comments drove her up a wall, but also made her laugh. If they weren’t friends after all, then there had to be another word for it. 

“Okay.” Kiara knew better than to think that was all Nana wanted to say. However, Nana also knew better than to push her. “Shall I turn the T.V. on? I think ‘Antique Roadshow’ is on.”

“I thought you were reading.”

Nana waved a hand, moving her book to the table, then reached to pick up the remote. “I’ve had enough for one afternoon.”

Kiara smiled, readjusting her position so she could face the T.V. She pulled out her phone from her pocket for the first time since leaving the beach and opened her messages app, which was last left on her conversation with JJ from this morning before she picked him up. 

Then moving dots appeared on the screen. Kiara blinked, not sure she saw correctly, because they were gone as soon as they came. 

She waited all night, lying awake in bed, long after “Antique Roadshow” was over, after her parents came home, after everyone else went to sleep. 

He never texted.

***

There was no time to dwell on Kiara, because as soon as her car was out of sight, Luke approached JJ in the driveway.

He took long, heavy strides towards him, a calculated, determined look in his bloodshot eyes. JJ instinctively took a couple steps back, but held his ground as his father stood directly in front of him. If he remained steady, didn’t show any signs of weakness, it would hold Luke off for a little while at least. But when he looked like this—color-drained and sullen—it was difficult to predict how he would react. 

“Where’ve you been, boy?” His putrid breath wrinkled JJ’s nose. “Didn’t forget about our little deal, did you?”

“No, Dad. I didn’t.” 

But that was just it. He did. 

Over Luke’s shoulder, he saw John B standing a couple yards away, braced for action, his eyes darting back and forth. JJ hated that he was here. Never in the fourteen years that they’ve been best friends did John B have to witness the two of them together. He was there after the fallout, all the hospital visits or the late-nights JJ showed up at the Chateau’s front steps. While he rarely talked about it, he knew John B knew the extent of it all, but watching it happen right in front of him had to be another thing altogether. 

“JB, go back inside, man,” JJ said. Luke turned around, probably also just now realizing they had company. 

“I…” John B glanced between them. 

“Seriously, dude. We’re fine. I’ll be there in a minute.”

John B shot him one last look, his eyes briefly flickering towards Luke, who only offered a sneer, which couldn’t have been too convincing. Slowly, his friend backed up and walked towards the front door, occasionally throwing a glance over his shoulder. JJ had a feeling he wouldn’t make it past the porch, likely hiding in a corner and watching from a distance.

“Can’t face your old man yourself anymore, can you?” Luke jeered. 

“John B lives here,” JJ muttered. “And you don’t, in case you forgot.”

His dry, scratchy laugh was like nails on a chalkboard, but JJ wasn’t going to allow himself to falter. Not this time.

“Forgot,” he said. “You think you’re a tough guy now.”

Maybe it was the fight with Kiara, or the fact that his father had the nerve to show up at his house _again_ , but a sudden swell of courage—or stupidity—overcame him.

“Look, I’m not giving you the money anymore, Dad. I’ve been...I gave you a good amount the past couple months. More than enough, actually. If you’re out spending it on the same old shit, then there’s nothing I can do about that.”

He watched Luke’s face fall, his red-rimmed eyes studying him. Then his dad laughed again, almost to himself. For a moment, it was as though JJ wasn’t even there. He wasn’t sure what to make of it—a precursor to outrage, or just the aftermath of too much cocaine. Both were equally dangerous. 

“You…” Luke waved a finger at him. “You’re a funny one, kid. Got Georgia’s sense of humor.”

JJ froze at the mention of his mother, heat creeping up his neck, numbing him. He could count the number of times Luke said her name aloud on one finger. But it was enough to recognize a pattern. His father knew when he was losing, and he always knew how to catch his son off guard. 

“Don’t do that,” he said firmly. “Don’t bring her into this.”

It was too late, though. She was already in his thoughts. Her wavy blonde hair dangling just past her shoulders. Her dazzling smile, the one that stretched across the width of her face and made the corners of her eyes wrinkle. The way she twisted her mouth to one side when she was thinking. The warm feeling of her arms around him that lingered long after it was over. The memories he chose to remember. Anything else would break down the gates and make way for the flood. 

“Still think she’s coming back, don’t you?” Luke said. “She left both of us, kid. And she ain’t ever coming back.”

“Shut up!” JJ couldn’t help the rise in his voice. 

“Maybe if you weren’t a little piece of shit, she’d have taken you with her, huh?”

“I said _shut up_!” 

He grabbed Luke by the shirt, shoving him back against a tree. Before he could determine his next move, his father’s fist slammed into his stomach, forcing him off. JJ clutched his abdomen, attempting to catch his breath. He managed to catch Luke’s wrist just in time, before he could do any more damage, pushing him away. It must’ve been harder than he intended because once JJ straightened and got his bearings, his dad was doubled over in front of the tree, gasping loudly. 

“Shit...Dad…” JJ mumbled, taking a couple steps closer, but stopped short of an apology. This was what he needed now, even if it wasn’t how he hoped it would happen. It was a minute or two before Luke managed to get back up, still breathing heavily. They stared at each other wordlessly, JJ losing some of his bravado as he looked into his father’s pained green eyes. He wasn’t a helpless boy anymore. He knew he could easily overpower Luke in any physical fight now, but that didn’t mean he wanted to.

“You need to go,” he continued, standing tall despite the sharp pain in his stomach. 

Then John B came running over. 

“JJ! Are you…” He paused, glancing at Luke, who was still hunched over, focused on his son. “Do you need me to…”

“He’s just leaving,” JJ said. “Right, Dad?”

Finally, Luke moved. He didn’t say a word as he slowly walked back to his truck. Didn’t take his eyes off JJ the whole time. JJ wondered if he would’ve tried something if John B hadn’t shown up. Fighting his own son was one thing. Fighting his son with a witness who would’ve jumped in to help at any given moment was another. This was one time he wouldn’t have gotten away with it. 

The two of them were silent as Luke drove past them, down the driveway, and out of sight. JJ had a feeling this was the last he would hear of or see his father for a while. 

“Are you okay?” John B asked. 

“Yeah...fine.” Without thinking, he reached for his stomach, but paused before lifting his shirt to check.

“Holy shit! Did he…”

JJ shook his head. “It’s no big deal. I probably got him worse.”

“JJ…”

“I said it’s fine, John B.” 

He felt his friend’s eyes follow him as he walked back to the house. Fortunately, he stayed away from JJ for the rest of the day. Although, he heard his footsteps in the hallway a few times, pausing before he went into his own room. 

After lying in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, he lifted his shirt. It looked worse than it felt—an open wound about the size of his palm. He put his shirt back down. He’d deal with it tomorrow. 

At some point, his thoughts drifted back to Kiara and their argument in the driveway. The concern on her face that quickly turned into anger. Because of him. Then he thought back to earlier that day. Her curly hair dancing in the wind and the way her eyes shined after saving the turtle. 

JJ dug his phone out of his pocket and opened the messages app. The last text from her read: _Here. You better be awake._

For some reason, he started typing. Started with _Hey! Sorry about earlier._ Erased it because it was stupid. There was no good explanation he could give her. Then _I had fun today_. Erased that, too, and put his phone down. JJ was probably the last person she wanted to hear from now, anyway. If anything, he’d think about it for a few more hours and text her later tonight or in the morning. Or maybe—hopefully—she would reach out to him. 

She never did, but to be fair, he didn’t either.

***

“Done with the zucchini?” Mike asked, pushing the chopped onion and garlic together with his knife.

“Yep,” Kiara replied. She picked up her cutting board and dumped the sliced zucchini pieces onto her father’s, where he mixed all the vegetables together. 

Wordlessly, Mike moved the board to the stove, oiling a heated pan, while Kiara started breaking and beating the eggs together in a bowl. She always loved cooking with her dad; it was different at home than it was at The Wreck. 

Without any customers to wait on, he was more relaxed, and therefore more enjoyable to be around. It was also one of the few times where she was completely alone with him—her mother never joined them, nor had the skill to. She found that her father was always easier to hang out with when it was just the two of them in the kitchen. He didn’t share her mom’s prying tendencies. 

Not to mention he was always in a good mood while he was cooking. When she was younger, making dinner with him was always an opportunity to ask him risky questions, like pushing back her curfew another hour or skipping a shift at The Wreck so she could go to a party with Sarah—no alcohol or drugs involved, of course—and he always said yes. 

While she coated the bottom of the baking dish with spray, and Mike continued cooking the vegetables, he turned to her and said, “So, how’s Sarah doing?”

“Good…” Kiara said. It was a strange question coming from him. He normally never asked. Not because he didn’t care, but because he never had to. Asking how Sarah was doing was the same as asking how _she_ was doing. Even if Sarah wasn’t always around, she might as well have been. They’ve been figuratively attached at the hip since freshman year of high school. 

“That’s good.” He nodded, giving the vegetables another stir. “What about your other friends? How’s, uh, JJ?”

Kiara stiffened. _So, that’s what this was about_. 

She hadn’t spoken to him since Earth Day—going on three weeks now. But to be fair, they normally went this long without talking, sometimes even longer. There was no reason to contact each other until they made plans for the next holiday. So what difference was there, really?

“Fine.” She shrugged. “Don’t really talk to him that much.”

Mike paused, lowering the spatula. He looked at her with wide eyes, almost eager. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, we’re not, like...it’s just holidays, Dad. I thought I told you that.”

“Yes—Yes, you did!” Stammering, he continued sauteing. “Just haven’t seen him around for a while. That’s all.”

“Well...there haven’t really been any holidays since Easter, I guess,” she said.

“I guess so.” 

Kiara didn’t miss the way his shoulders visibly relaxed, and she could practically hear him exhale as he turned back to the stove. She resisted the urge to laugh. Her father didn’t exactly hide his skepticism of JJ, as much as he might’ve liked to believe. And judging by the way things were going now, he might never have to be concerned about the boy again. 

Nana poked her head around the corner. “Need any help in here?”

“No, ma’am. Not from you,” Mike said, pointing with his spatula. “This is a Mother’s Day meal, which means no mother in this house will be lifting a finger.”

“And that’s how you choose to talk to _your_ mother, Michael?” She put her hands on her hips, and he just shook his head, defeated. Kiara couldn’t stifle her laugh. “Alright, alright! I’ll go sit down.”

“It’ll be ready soon!” Kiara yelled as she turned to leave, then to her father, said, “Should I put this in the oven now, Michael?”

“You’re pushing it, kiddo.” But he smiled. “Go ahead.”

While they waited for the zucchini frittata, Mike prepared a garden salad and biscuits, and Kiara removed the coconut cream pie they made this morning from the fridge, making sure it was chilled enough to eat. To finish, she topped it off with toasted coconut, and for good measure, her dad added whipped cream. 

Mike started cleaning up, tasking Kiara with setting the table. She was grateful that this time she didn’t have to add the leaf. Her mother’s side of the family’s absence was more than welcome. Between the large gatherings, and Kiara being abroad, it’s been awhile since it was just the four of them on a holiday. Anna wasn’t nearly as tense without her sister around. Even now, Kiara could see her and Nana in the living room, laughing together over a glass of wine. 

The stark contrast between now and a night like Christmas Eve sometimes made her heart ache for her mother. Kiara might not always get along with her parents, but compared to the Stewarts, they were saints. She could barely stand one evening with Aunt Julia; she couldn’t imagine growing up her whole life with her. 

After setting out the utensils, she moved the flower bouquets from the island counter to the middle of the table, spreading out the stems so the vases looked more full. 

Then there was a knock on the front door.

“Was that the door?” Nana asked with a frown.

“I think so,” Anna said, setting her glass down, and started to get up from the couch.

“No, I’ll get it!”

Kiara rushed over to the door. Resting her hand on the knob, she peeked through the clear glass on the side, but couldn’t see much aside from an arm in a dark coat that could’ve been anyone’s. 

When she finally opened it, her breath hitched in her throat. 

“Hey...” JJ said. “Uh, is this a bad time?”

***

JJ regretted it as soon as he pulled up to her house, but there wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it at that point. His truck didn’t exactly look like it belonged in Figure Eight, and he was sure half the neighborhood was already peering curiously out their windows. Someone in her house probably already saw him. _She_ might’ve already seen him.

Truthfully, he might not have come here at all if the guilt wasn’t weighing him down. If Kiara had just dropped him off at the end of his driveway, and he had kept his temper under control, calmly told her everything was fine and left it at that, then he wouldn’t be here at all. 

But JJ fucked up. _Really_ fucked up. And now he was about to put everything on the line, showing up at her house unannounced to apologize three weeks too late. It had to be better than nothing. That’s what he kept telling himself, anyway. 

Standing on the front porch with Kiara in front of him, there was no going back now.

She studied him for a moment, her expression unreadable. Judging by her attire—a floral dress underneath a white jean jacket—this was, in fact, a bad time. 

Kiara cleared her throat. “Um...no. Sorry. Do you want to come in?”

“If that’s okay,” he said, then, “Or I can come back another time?”

“No, uh...” She glanced over her shoulder, and then pulled a smile. “Please come in.”

Pulling the door open, she moved to the side as he stepped in. Immediately, he was met with three other pairs of eyes—her mom, her dad, and her Nana. They were like statues, the two women seated on the couch and Mike standing behind them, wearing oven mitts. Kiara wasn’t the only one who was dressed nice. It was like Easter all over again. He wondered what the occasion was. Then again, they were kooks. Maybe they didn’t need a reason to dress up on a Sunday afternoon. 

He was about to turn around and leave, but somehow that felt even worse. Besides, Kiara was already beckoning him towards the back of the house. She stopped short of the sliding back door, and turned on her feet.

“So, um, we can talk out here if you want,” she said. “You go ahead. I’ll be right there.”

“Kiara, I’m—”

But she was already walking back toward the living room. JJ could either stay and have to listen to what he was sure would be a tense conversation with her family, or sit outside and wait. So he slid the door open and took a seat on one of the wicker chairs on the porch. 

Kiara’s house was both everything and more than what he was expecting. Any house on Figure Eight was a nice one, but looking at hers from the front, with all the trees and shrubbery, he wouldn’t have thought they had such a wide, open ocean view like this one. Sunlight glimmered across the surface, the reflection making him squint and shade his eyes. A few fishing boats whizzed by, and he could hear childrens’ laughter from somewhere in the near distance. With the sound of the waves gently crashing on the shore, he could’ve easily laid back and fallen asleep. 

The sliding door opened again, and Kiara came over to join him, sitting in the opposite chair. She looked at him expectantly, albeit patiently. 

“So…” she started.

“This was a bad time, wasn’t it? I’m sorry. I should’ve called, or—”

“No, no, I just…” She bit her lip, her gaze faltering. “JJ, did you...I mean, it’s…”

“What?”

“I’m just confused, I guess,” she said. “You know, since it’s Mother’s Day.”

Suddenly, JJ’s heart hammered against his chest, and he was completely at a loss of words. 

How could he have been so stupid? It was May. It was a Sunday. They were all dressed up. Her father looked like he was just cooking in the kitchen. Of course it was Mother’s Day. And he just showed up at her house with no warning. JJ didn’t think it was possible, but somehow he felt worse than before he even came. 

“Oh, yeah, right. I, uh…”

There was nothing, no good explanation for why he came here now. Even if he didn’t celebrate it anymore, he should’ve known she would be. That most people would be. He couldn’t figure out how something like that just slipped his mind. 

“I should go,” JJ said, starting to get up.

“No, wait! JJ, it’s fine, really. We weren’t even eating yet. I wouldn’t have invited you in if I didn’t want to talk.”

He just nodded, unsure where to go from here. Did he tell her _why_ he forgot what day it was, that his own mother left him? It was something he rarely talked about. Even John B and Pope didn’t really know the specifics. _She left_ , was all he said. _She just left_. The unspoken word was _me_. Because it was that personal. Of course she left her husband. No one needed a lifetime of being pushed around and feeling utterly worthless. But leaving _him_ , when he was just as much of a victim as she was, was something he would never fully understand—or forgive. 

Luckily, Kiara didn’t push. She was looking out at the ocean now, like her mind was somewhere else—far away from here. 

JJ took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” he said. “Or week, I guess. I shouldn’t have...said all that.”

Finally turning to look at him again, she searched his face, then managed a smile. “It’s okay. I’m sorry, too. I definitely overreacted. I didn’t mean to sound...nosy, or anything.”

“You weren’t. I was just…” Maybe he was going to regret what he said next, but the words came out before he could stop himself. “There wasn’t a plumber at the house. It was my Dad. He—we don’t really get along. I didn’t want...I didn’t think you should get involved.”

Kiara blinked, straightening in her seat. “Oh.”

JJ was prepared for the empathetic stare, the empty, useless apology that always came. Instead, she just nodded, her hands folded in her lap. It was far from what he was expecting from her, but it was refreshing. As much as he loved John B and Pope, he didn’t think _they_ even showed the restraint she did. Granted, she didn’t know the extent of what he told her. She probably thought they just argued a lot, like any ordinary family. As far as he was concerned, there was no reason for her to think any differently. 

“Uh, so...I should probably get going,” JJ said, starting to get up. “They’re probably waiting on you in there.”

“Eh, I kind of like keeping them waiting.” Kiara smiled, and then, “You can...stay if you want. You’re welcome to join us, I mean.”

He couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not. Either way, it took everything in him not to bite back a retort. Logically, he knew she was just trying to be nice, but JJ didn’t want—or need—her sympathy. 

JJ waved a hand. “No, thanks. I’ve got stuff I need to do at home.”

It was a pretty lame lie, but it was the one he was stuck with. 

As he took another step, Kiara happened to stand up from her chair at the same time, nearly pushing him backward with the sudden movement. She brought her hands to his arms, steadying herself. They made eye contact for a second before she let go just as quickly. 

“Shit, sorry—”

“Woah, there, Kie. Don’t get too excited. You’re back in the friend-zone.”

Her eyes widened as she crossed her arms. “I’m sorry. Were we ever _out_ of the friend-zone?” 

“Well, you won’t be with that attitude.” JJ winked, and she rolled her eyes. “Bet you missed me.”

“Nope. Not at all,” Kie said, but there was a surprising warmth in her voice.

Her family’s voices at the dining room table were muffled by the door, then stopped altogether when Kie opened it and they walked through. There was food on every plate except for one, waiting at an empty seat, and JJ was overwhelmed with guilt again. Her parents smiled, but he knew there was no weight behind it. Her Nana, however, stood up and beckoned them over.

“Come join us, young man. We’d love to have you,” she said with a smile. “I insist.”

He didn’t really have much choice after that.

***

This wasn’t how Kiara expected to spend Mother’s Day—not even close. 

It was oddly fitting having JJ here though. After all, it was a holiday. So while they never planned on spending it together, they were simply continuing their holidate tradition. 

She never thought Nana would’ve invited a near stranger—to her, anyway—to their dinner, but it also wasn’t out of character for her to extend such a gesture. While both her parents undoubtedly found it awkward, Nana didn’t know the meaning of the word. 

“There’s far more food than we know what to do with,” Nana said, directing JJ to the chair next to Kiara’s. “Isn’t that right, Michael?”

Mike blinked, still unsure. “Uh...yes, of course! Plenty! Please take a seat, JJ.”

“Thank you...sir.” He sat down slowly, silently pleading with Kiara, but she just shrugged. 

Kiara waited for her mother’s disapproving look. However, she appeared too surprised to even react, wearing her polite-but-quietly-judgmental smile Kiara had seen a million times. She might as well have stuck her nose up in the air. 

“Well...let’s get the young man some food, shall we?” Nana said.

“I’ve got it, Nana,” Kiara said. JJ started to protest, but she was already at the counter, putting a serving of every dish on his plate. From the few months she knew JJ, he seemed to be willing to eat just about anything, so she didn’t even bother asking. 

“So, JJ, no big Mother’s Day plans?” Mike asked, taking a huge forkful of the frittata. Kiara’s eyes widened, shaking her head at him, but he didn’t seem to notice. Or just chose not to.

“Uh...not really, sir,” he said. “She left a long time ago.”

Kiara nearly dropped her fork, but mustered just enough energy to act normal. 

_Why didn’t he just tell her?_

Mike stopped chewing. “Oh…” 

“I’m so sorry, JJ,” Anna said as she cut her salad. “That must be difficult.”

“No, not really. I was a kid.” He shrugged, then turned to Kiara. “Can you pass the salt?”

They both knew the salt was right in front of JJ’s plate, but she played along, more than willing to change the subject. Fortunately, Nana also seemed to get the message.

“Now, you work down at Kenny’s don’t you, young man?” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh, please call me Evelyn.” She smiled warmly, and he nodded. Although, Kiara was certain he wouldn’t. “I knew Kenny in high school, actually. And his...ex-wife, Alice, as well.”

“Yeah, he’s a great guy.” 

JJ made eye contact with Kiara, and the two of them smiled. He, too, must’ve been thinking about that day at the auto shop back in December. When Kenny told her she was the spitting image of her grandmother. When she and JJ met for real. So much happened since then, it was hard for her to believe it was nearly six months ago. If you asked her, she never would’ve imagined that same, smug blonde boy would be sitting at her dining room today. It was a strange, happy thought. 

“I bet you make good money there. Kenny always did value hard work,” Nana said. 

“Oh, definitely. I work most days, so it really adds up.”

She nodded, glancing expectantly from Anna to Mike, then finally at Kiara with a wink. Kiara rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help smiling. If JJ caught their exchange, he didn’t show it. Her mother, however, seemed to. She gave Kiara a curious look, head tilted, but Kiara took a bite of her biscuit. 

Having JJ there felt surprisingly normal. Aside from the initial discomfort—mostly on her parents’ part—their dinner resumed as usual. Nana and JJ got along well, discussing everything from the best spots on the island to T.V. shows. Both of them agreed that "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" is a one-of-a-kind classic. Even Mike and Anna joined in on the conversation eventually, and before anyone knew it, over an hour had passed, and JJ decided it was time to go home. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dessert, JJ?” Mike asked. “We made coconut cream pie.”

“I’m okay, Mr. Carrera,” he said. “I should really get going, but thanks.”

“Wonderful to have you with us, young man,” Nana said, pulling him into a hug, which seemed to catch him off guard because he flinched, but then his shoulders relaxed. 

“Nice to see you again, JJ,” Anna said, shaking his hand. 

The biggest shock of the afternoon was her mother. Kiara didn’t think she’d so much as look in his direction. But somehow, against all odds, JJ fell into her good graces. Maybe it was just for today. Maybe she’d go back to her critical ways when the sun came up again tomorrow. For now, though, Kiara would take it. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Kiara said, leading him to the door.

She felt all their eyes on the two of them as they walked out to the front porch. When JJ turned around to face her, her stomach dropped. The stillness wasn’t uncomfortable, but still made her heart race, and unable to fully meet his gaze. 

“Thanks,” he finally said. “Or tell your Nana thanks, I guess.”

“Yeah, I see how it is,” she said, smirking. “I invite you to dinner and you say no. My Nana invites you and you’re all over it.”

“Hey, I can’t say no to a grandma. I think there’s laws against that.”

“I think she likes you, actually.”

“Don’t sound so shocked. The ladies love me.”

“Don’t be gross.”

They fell into silence again. Then, when he went to leave, she said, “I’m glad you came by the way.”

He stopped, staring at her for a moment. A smile stretched across his lips. “Can’t get enough of me, can you Carrera?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just go. Before I take it back.”

“Too late!” 

Kiara watched him walk back to his car, something light fluttering in her chest. He paused again after opening the door. 

“So, we still on for the Fourth?” he asked.

“Do I have a choice?”

She smiled, and his was the last thing she saw before he got into his truck and drove away. Kiara stood on the porch for a couple minutes before heading back inside. 

Nana talked to Mike while he cleared the table, preparing a new set of plates for the pie. Mostly it was Nana who spoke while Mike nodded, probably only half listening as he bustled back and forth. Meanwhile, her mother stopped her in the hallway. 

“Are you two dating?” 

Kiara was so startled at the impertinence of the question, she physically recoiled. “Jesus, Mom!”

“Well, are you?”

“I’ve told you like a hundred times,” she said. “We’re just each others’ dates on holidays. That’s it.”

Anna frowned. “I really don’t understand you, Kiara.”

Before she could respond, her mother retreated to the kitchen for some pie, leaving Kiara frozen in place, stunned.

That made two of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! I truly appreciate all of your comments! :)


	8. Red, White, and Blue All Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fourth of July.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth on whether or I was going to include the, uh, sort of gruesome scene from the movie, but ultimately decided to keep it for the drama/comedy purposes. If you've seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, don't worry. It's not too bad, but the M rating is still there just in case.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I can’t believe you managed to talk Pope into going to this kook party,” John B said.

“I _can_ believe you managed to talk John B into going to this kook party,” Pope said.

John B frowned, turning away from the mirror where he spent the better part of twenty minutes checking his outfit and fixing his hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re pussy whipped for a girl you haven’t even seen in months,” JJ said, putting his feet up on the makeshift coffee table as he lit a joint. 

“Hey, I’ve seen—”

“If I may,” Pope interrupted. “Staring at her Instagram for two hours a day doesn’t count.”

“I’m just trying to see if her and that douchebag broke up.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, dude,” JJ said. “Your intentions are totally honorable.”

“Thank you!” John B faced the mirror again, adjusting the collar of one of his nicer (by comparison) Hawaiian shirts, even buttoning it up for the occasion. JJ made eye contact with Pope, both of them smirking. “She is going to be there, right?”

“I would think so, considering the party’s at her house.”

“ _What?_ ” Both Pope and John B shouted at the same time, the latter of whom nearly tripping on his untied shoes. 

JJ took a long drag, eyeing them both curiously. “Did I not tell you guys that?”

“ _No!”_

“Oh...whoops. Well, now you know.” He threw an arm behind his head, leaning back against the couch.

“Yeah, _whoops_ is right!” Pope started pacing around the room. “This isn’t just any kook party. Why the hell are we going to Tanneyhill for the Fourth of July?”

Sometimes, Pope’s dramatic reactions made JJ want to pull his ears out. Other times, the entertainment of watching his eyes bug out while he threw his arms around was worth messing with him. This was one of those times. 

After listening to him blabber on, though, he finally groaned and stood up to grab him by the shoulders.

“Relax, bro. This isn’t high school anymore. We don’t need to worry about any of that kooks versus pogues shit.”

Pope pushed his hands off. “Who are you and what have you done with JJ?”

“I think Kie’s rubbed off on him,” John B said, turning to assess his reflection from different angles, which didn’t give his point much to stand on.

“You know, he’s right, actually. This whole holidating thing has gone to your head, or something. You’ve always been allergic to anything remotely kook and now she has you hooked. You’re no better than John B!”

“ _Hey!_ ” 

JJ laughed, blowing a puff of smoke out, causing Pope’s nose to wrinkle. He largely kicked the habit after going to college, and only on rare occasions shared a joint with them when he came to visit.

“I’ve told you a million times, dude. It’s not even a thing. I’m her date to whatever kook shit they do on Easter, and she’s my—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Pope muttered, rolling his eyes. “Just don’t see the point.”

Choosing to ignore his comment, JJ checked his watch and was glad to see it was time to go anyway.

“JB, you done checking yourself out, man? I don’t think Sarah’s going to notice if your top button is done or not.”

“Yup,” he said, finally detaching his attention from the mirror and fishing for his keys under all the papers on the table, waving them in the air. “Twinkie?”

“You sure Ward Cameron’s security gate won’t laser shoot us on sight?” 

“Come on,” JJ said, steering Pope out the door while he continued to protest.

They all filed into the van, JJ immediately rolling his window down while he continued to smoke, enjoying the clear summer air. It was ideal weather for the Fourth—sunny and warm, but with a quiet breeze. 

When he turned to John B, he was motionless in the driver’s seat, his hand still on the gear shift. 

“Are you guys sure this shirt is okay?”

“Dude.” JJ shook his head and handed him the joint. John B accepted it, taking a single drag before giving it back. In the rearview mirror, Pope groaned, throwing his head back against the seat. JJ reached his arm back, and said, “Looks like you could use one, too.”

Pope narrowed his eyes. “That’s unsanitary.”

JJ shrugged. “Never stopped you before.”

“I was young and stupid then.”

“What does that make John B and I?”

“Young and stupid.”

“Fair enough,” he said, stretching his arm further. “C’mon! It’s the Fourth.”

Pope fixed him with a glare, but took the joint nonetheless, like he was a child with a pacifier being forced into his mouth. 

“That’s more like it, Popey.” JJ patted him on the knee. 

“I told you not to call me—”

“Onward!” 

“Aye, aye, sir!” John saluted him. 

They arrived at Tanneyhill approximately fifteen minutes later. While JJ didn’t put much stock into Pope’s laser shooter comment, the black gates closing off the property were imposing to say the least. He’d heard so much about Tanneyhill, both through word of mouth over the years, and from Kiara when she explained the details to him on FaceTime, that he felt like he knew exactly what he was getting into. But one look at the monster house—big white columns and all—and the crowd of bright polos and sundresses visible even from yards away, he wasn’t so sure.

“Uh…” John B rolled down the window, poking his head out. “We’re here for Kiara Carrera.”

The gate didn’t budge.

“Hold on. Let me text Kie,” JJ said.

“Try driving up a little more, genius,” Pope offered.

JJ and John B looked at each other and shrugged, but sure enough, after moving the car forward the gate started to open. 

“Not very secure,” John B mumbled, driving slowly, as though afraid any speed over five miles per hour would trigger the invisible electric fence or knock over a marble replica of Ward Cameron’s head.

They parked towards the back of the lot, partly because there wasn’t much space left, mostly because—JJ suspected—John B didn’t want to attract attention with his large orange van. Too late for that, though. The Twinkie already drew a few confused stares and pointed fingers when they drove by. 

The smell of burgers, beer, and rotten eggs wafted through the air. He couldn’t be sure, but JJ had a strong suspicion that last one had something to do with the bursts of light in the sky—or, he hoped at least. There were people everywhere, covering every inch of the side yard, the patio, even the Camerons’ yacht. All the shouting and laughter nearly drowned out the bang of the firecrackers. 

Pope leaned forward to peer out the front window. “Twenty bucks someone ends up in the hospital.”

***

When Kiara invited JJ to the Camerons’ annual Fourth of July Day party, she knew he would be a little out of his element. What she did not anticipate was a text that read: _hey, how do you open the gate outside?_ as though Tanneyhill was Buckingham Palace. 

She resisted the urge to poke fun, if only to save herself from JJ’s inevitable commentary on the privileges of being a kook, instead settling on: _literally just wait for it to open._ It struck the right balance between helpful and judgmental.

Kiara didn’t have a hard time finding him. JJ mentioned John B’s van, otherwise known as the Twinkie, and she’d seen it from a distance when she dropped him off at their house back in April. It was hard to forget.

“I see you figured out the gate,” she said, walking up to meet the boys.

“Oh, yeah! Easy peasy.” JJ grinned, shoving his hands into the pockets of his board shorts. Between that and John B’s Hawaiian button down, the three of them looked like they were ready for a surf as opposed to a party. She almost wished the alternative were true.

“Nice to see you again, Kie,” John B said, pulling her into a one armed hug. 

If it were anyone else she might’ve recoiled, but something about John B’s presence was so familiar and dependable, even though they’d only hung out once before. Pope greeted her with a warm smile, too, and Kiara was overwhelmed with affection for each of them. Much like when her two worlds collided that day JJ visited The Wreck, she wondered if, in another life, they might’ve all been friends in high school. It was surprisingly easy to imagine. 

She led them to the yard, dodging two men in collared shirts and khakis—probably business partners of Ward—talking animatedly with their beer cans, then Topper, Rafe, and Kelce hollering as they set another firecracker up over the water, eventually finding her way to the coolers and fold out tables set up by the tree.

“Help yourself, boys,” Kiara said, then gesturing over her shoulder to where her dad stood by the grill. “There’s burgers and stuff over there. Best in the OBX.”

“I’ll second that,” JJ said, reaching into the cooler and cracking open a can. John B and Pope gave him blank stares. “Her dad owns The Wreck.”

John B blinked. “Oh, shit! Really?”

“Haven’t been there in a while, but you guys do make a mean burger,” Pope said, to which Kiara smiled gratefully.

“Hey, JJ!” 

Carlos waved from the shoreline, standing with Drew who just finished lighting a firecracker. In virtually no time at all, the two developed an unlikely friendship, founded entirely on the nuances of immigration law. Of course, that meant her mother already saw this as a faborable turn of events, as though Carlos was the answer she needed to finally setting Kiara up with Drew. 

“Come join us, guys,” Carlos said. “You too, Kie!”

“Sick,” JJ said, who apparently didn’t need much convincing. John B grabbed a very hesitant Pope’s arm and pulled him along with them. 

Kiara was about to follow when she felt two hands on her arm and twist her around, finding herself face to face with a panic-stricken Sarah.

“Kie, what the hell? You didn’t tell me JJ’s friends were coming, too!”

She narrowed her eyes, releasing her arm from Sarah’s grip. “Yes, I did.”

“Well, you didn’t tell me _he_ was coming!”

“You can say his name, Sarah. John B can’t hear you.” A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Besides, of course he was coming. He’s JJ’s roommate.”

Sarah sighed, rolling her eyes, and without another word pulled Kiara over to the patio, stopping at the lawn chairs which were unoccupied, aside from Tamara. If Kiara’s cousin noticed them, she made no sign of it, sunglasses over her eyes, basking under the sun. 

“What am I supposed to do right now?” Sarah said, sitting down, and without other options, Kiara mimicked her movement.

“I’m really not following.”

“Seriously, Kie? Do you not remember what happened the last time they were both in the same place?”

“Who?” Kiara asked.

“Topper and John B!” she called, Then, after looking around, lowered her voice. “Topper hates the guy. If he sees John B, he’s going to lose his shit.”

“That sounds like Topper’s problem, not yours.”

“But what do I do if John B, like….or….I don’t know…”

“Sarah.” Kiara put her hands on her shoulders. “I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be completely honest.”

Although she appeared skeptical, Sarah nodded slowly.

“Do you like John B?”

“I…” She bit her lip, then lowered her head into her hands. “Shit.”

“Yeah, shit is right,” Kiara said, but rubbed the back of Sarah’s shoulder while she worked through whatever existential crisis was running through her head. 

In many ways it was like high school all over again. Sarah found someone, then after a few months, wanted something different. Broke up with the boyfriend to devote all her attention to the shiny, new one who hadn’t yet disappointed her. Then the pattern repeated itself, again and again. 

But this was different, too. As much as Kiara loved Sarah, her taste was questionable at best, and she always knew exactly what she was doing. For the first time, though, she believed Sarah never fully came to terms with her feelings. Not until now. 

Not to mention the thought of Sarah dating John B didn’t immediately trigger her gag reflex. 

“What do I do now?” Sarah finally asked.

“Well, that’s obvious isn’t it?”

Tamara had lifted her sunglasses on to her head, her arms resting comfortably above her belly. “Break up with your douchelord boyfriend.”

Kiara and Sarah both stared at her.

“What? Do people not say that anymore?”

“I’m with Tamara on this one,” Kiara said. “Although, uh, said in a nicer, best friend type of way.”

“But I can’t just...break up with him.” Sarah’s eyes were wide, pleading. “Can I?”

Kiara and Tamara looked at each other, and Kiara said, “I mean, I don’t see why not.”

“What do I say, though? Like, I don’t really have a reason, or anything.”

“I can give you a list of reasons if you like.”

Sarah managed a laugh, which lifted a weight off Kiara’s shoulders. Then, with a deep breath, pushed herself up from the chair. “Okay, well, I guess I better go.”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Tamara said.

“You’re just going to break up with him right now?” Kiara asked.

“Well...yeah.” Sarah shrugged. “Might as well.”

Before either of them could get another word in, she set off towards the water where Topper was still setting off firecrackers with Rafe and Kelce. It was the worst backdrop for a break up Kiara could imagine. But she had to admit the thought of Sarah dumping Topper in front of his friends brought her all the satisfaction she needed.

Then, she caught sight of JJ, laughing with Carlos while he picked up the scraps from the firecrackers off the sand, and her heart swelled in her chest. When he looked up, he made eye contact with her, and grinned, waving her over. Kiara waved back, then stood up, fixing her shorts. 

“You’re blushing,” Tamara said, taking a sip of her lemonade.

Kiara squinted at her, then pulled a tight-lipped smile. “You’re pregnant.”

Tamara lifted her glass. “Cheers to hormones.”

She shook her head, grabbing a beer can from a nearby cooler before heading down to the beach. 

***

“Looks like I’ve had some good influence on you, after all,” Kie said, standing over him. 

JJ shrugged, looking around before dumping the torn scraps of paper into his empty beer can. “Don’t go getting a big head now. Remember, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“How could I forget?” she drawled. “Outer Banks Golden Boy, right?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He reached down into the cooler for another can, twisting it in his hand before cracking it open and leaning back against the tree. 

“It’s just... _so_ not you.”

JJ’s eyes widened, lips pressed together. “Alright then, Carrera. What title would you give me?”

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Smug Bastard seems more fitting.”

“Smug?”

“Yeah, because you’re constantly doing that face,” she said, then pulled a slight smile to demonstrate, her features wrinkled so she looked more like an evil cartoon character than anything else.

“Do me a favor and never make that face again.”

Kie rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s what you look like all the time, but weirder.” She took a sip of her beer, leaning to sit back on the top of the picnic table. 

“Doesn’t get much weirder than that,” JJ said.

While she didn’t respond, her narrowed eyes and sneering look were answer enough. 

Over her shoulder he saw John B and Carlos continuing to blast off firecrackers, and Pope talking enthusiastically with Drew, hand gestures and all. JJ knew without hearing a word that it was the kind of conversation he and John B would pretend to understand, and eventually tune out because they couldn’t keep up. But Drew couldn’t have looked more interested, nodding emphatically, and—to JJ’s surprise— _laughing_. Pope was a funny guy, sure. His academic rants, though, were rarely a source of amusement. 

It was strange, hanging out with kooks at a party without anyone breaking out into fights. Granted, they weren’t in high school anymore, but if sixteen year-old JJ saw himself now—lighting firecrackers and drinking beer with them—he wouldn’t have believed it. It should’ve felt like a betrayal, but right now, it didn’t feel like anything out of the ordinary.

That is, until Topper Thornton stormed over to John B, shoving him away from Carlos, who stepped back, eyes wide. 

“Shit,” JJ said, instinctively shooting up and putting his can down on the table.

Kie frowned. “What are you—” Then she turned around, and her jaw dropped. She got up, too, following JJ over to the commotion, Pope not far behind them. 

“Dude, what the hell?” John B said, still discombobulated.

“Don’t act all innocent, _dude_ ,” Topper said. “You’ve been fucking my girlfriend, haven’t you?”

“God, how old are you, Topper?” Kie said. 

“You stay out of this Kiara!”

“Look, Topper, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” John B held out his hands, as though prepared for another physical attack. 

“Bullshit!” Topper shouted, moving forward but John B kept him at a distance. “You’ve been fucking her for months!”

“Dude, they talked, like, one time,” JJ said. “Jealous boyfriend isn’t really a good look for you, on top of all the other shit you’ve got going on.”

“ _Shut up!_ ” 

“He’s been plowing it, too,” Rafe sniggered, bringing his hand around the back of JJ’s neck, the stench of his breath filling his nostrils. “How is she, gutter boy? Nice and loose?”

Then there was a loud snapping sound, and suddenly JJ was free from his grip. He turned to see Rafe clutching his cheek and Kie’s eyes ablaze.

“Fuck you, asshole,” she seethed. 

JJ suppressed the irresistible urge to laugh, while Pope gave an appreciative nod. Meanwhile, Topper seized the opportunity to lunge forward and grab John B by the shirt, the red in his eyes visible from where JJ was standing. He, Pope, and Kie, moved forward, but John B mostly had it handled for now, grabbing Topper’s fists and forcing them off. With his energy elsewhere, though, Topper managed to push John B back in the sand, eliciting protests all around.

“Topper, what the _fuck_?” 

Sarah pushed her way through, looking from John B back to Topper, jaw slack. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I know you’ve been sneaking around behind my back, Sarah!” he yelled, while John B got back to his feet, brushing the sand off him. 

“Are you kidding me right now?” Sarah folded her arms across her chest. “You’re being such a piss baby! Is this really just because I dumped your sorry ass like five minutes ago?”

JJ choked out a laugh, and even John B couldn’t hide the smirk on his face. The fact that Topper was doing all this, after just being broken up with, made it all the more pathetic. 

Topper’s mouth fell open and shut again, blubbering like a fish without any real words coming out. Sarah just stared at him expectantly, as though he had any other explanation to offer for throwing a near-stranger on the ground. Kie bit her lip, smiling knowingly as she glanced briefly at JJ. 

Then, some oblivious guy, blatantly drunk, ran by with a firecracker in his hand, and, realizing it was lit, cursed threw it on the ground near Topper. Panicking, he kicked it away, where it landed near John B’s foot, the flame nearing the end of string.

“John B, move!” 

Without a second thought, JJ jumped forward, grabbing the firecracker in what had to be the least practical way possible, throwing it just as a loud pop sounded in the air. At the same time, he felt something snap, followed by searing pain that climbed up his arm and made him scream. 

“ _FUCK!_ ”

As everyone started to crowd around him—Kie, John B, Pope, Sarah, Drew, Carlos, and other witnesses—JJ finally braved a look down at his left hand to find, much to his horror, the middle finger was completely gone. 

There were multiple people trying to talk to him at once, but all he could hear was the sound of his own heart hammering in his ears as he clutched his wrist with his other hand. Pope kneeled down in front of him, cursing to himself while he wedged a wad of paper towels into JJ’s hand. 

“I found it!” 

It was John B’s voice from somewhere behind him, and JJ heard him run over. He turned around while Pope held the towels over his hand, then, after seeing what was in John B’s hand, wished he hadn’t. Sarah rushed over to them with an ice pack and a plastic bag, which John B put the finger in. 

“Someone needs to take him to the hospital,” Carlos said, looking around frantically. “Kie? You’ve barely had anything to drink.”

Kie nodded wordlessly, her eyes glued to the ground.

“We’re coming, too,” John B and Pope said at the same time, helping JJ to his feet. 

“Shit,” Kie said, her hand over her mouth as she fished around in her bag, then pulled out her keys. 

“Are you seriously going to puke right now?” JJ said.

“No!” she cried. “I’m not good with blood, okay?”

“Can we argue about this later?” Pope said, leading JJ to the driveway.

“I should bring the finger, right?” John B asked, holding up the plastic bag.

“Yes!” The three of them shouted at once. 

They filed into the car, John B in shotgun, and Pope and JJ in the backseat. Kie backed up quickly, slamming on the breaks when she almost hit the car parked behind her. She steered in a zig-zag motion until they reached the front gate of the lot. She couldn’t have been driving worse even if she was drunk. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered, and JJ had to agree. For all intents and purposes, the life of his finger was in her hands.

***

“If you’re trying to kill us, you could at least _wait_ until we get to the hospital,” JJ said. 

“I’m a nervous driver! And you’re not exactly helping!”

“Oh, well, excuse me! It’s only _my_ fucking finger that blew off!” 

He waved his hand up in the rearview mirror, wrapped in bloody paper towels. The sight of it almost made Kiara swerve off the road, but she swiftly corrected herself, causing the car to jerk left. John B put a hand against the window to steady himself. Fortunately for her, he hid the plastic bag with the finger in the side pocket of the door. 

“You know when I said let’s argue about this in the car?” Pope said. “What I actually meant was let’s just drop it.”

“My _fucking_ finger, Pope!” JJ said.

“And Kie is trying to drive!”

“We’re here!” John B yelled.

The large white sign reading _Kildare County Hospital_ came into view, and her shoulders finally relaxed. She managed to pull into the lot and park without any mishaps, taking a moment to breathe while the boys got everything ready.

It’s not like Kiara wanted make the situation any more stressful, but anything remotely medical-related turned the insides of her stomach out. The only reason she even agreed to drive was because it was a necessary distraction from the overwhelming need to vomit. She didn’t think the combined effect would cause her to drive like a senior citizen who couldn’t see over the steering wheel. Still, she was grateful she was able to get everyone here in one piece—well, almost.

“Thanks, Kie.” John B gave her shoulder a squeeze before exiting the car, which only made her feel more guilty, but she smiled nonetheless.

The emergency room was crowded, which was to be expected for the Fourth of July. From what Kiara could tell, though, most of the patients in the waiting room were people who got into dumb accidents, like hitting their head or twisting an ankle as a result of drunken antics. It was safe to say no one else got their middle finger blown off by a firecracker. 

Fortunately, suffering of that magnitude got them in within ten minutes, the nurse leading them them down the hallway to one of the rooms in the back. He slid the curtains closed and turned on his feet, clicking the pen in his hand on the clipboard. 

They explained everything to him, the harsh, ugly truth. JJ even cracked jokes as he recalled the event, but the nurse didn’t so much as crack a smile or look up from his paper. It all might’ve been ridiculous to them, but Kiara imagined the nurse saw this stuff all the time. She couldn’t stand the sight of a bloody paper cut, yet for him, a blown-off finger was hardly worth batting an eye. 

The nurse assured them a doctor would be in to see JJ shortly, leaving the four of them alone, and, aside from the hospital bed JJ laid in, only one place to sit. John B took the chair while Kie and Pope leaned against the wall. 

It was quiet for a minute, aside from John B tapping his fingers on the metal arm of the chair and JJ readjusting his position in the bed, causing it to squeak. Pope exhaled loudly, and she couldn’t tell if it was impatience with the other two, or anxiety for having to wait—possibly both. 

“Hey, I think I have a joint in my back pocket,” JJ finally said. 

He was met with three stares. 

“What?”

“Your finger got blown off and you want to smoke right now?” Pope said.

“Yes, thank you for understanding, Pope.” 

Then, rather ungracefully, JJ twisted over, reaching his good hand behind him to his pocket for the joint, and afterwards, his front one for the lighter. Kiara didn’t know if she should be impressed or disturbed that he, quite literally, pulled one out of his ass, but she wasn’t going to complain.

“JJ, we’re in a hospital.” Pope’s eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of his head.

He shrugged. “Can someone light this?”

Because she was closest, and felt she couldn’t argue with the guy who lost his finger, Kiara took the lighter off the bed while JJ raised his hand with the joint, and lit it. JJ took a drag, then offered it to her. She accepted without giving it much thought. Pope, on the other hand, looked unimpressed, glancing over at John B, as though he would back him up, but the brunette just stared at the floor.

“JJ, I’m sorry,” John B said. “If I had just…”

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault, man,” JJ assured him, holding out the joint. John B stared at him for a moment, wistful and guilt ridden, before standing up and reaching for it.

If this was anyone’s fault, it was Topper’s. He had enough time to move the firecracker himself, instead of kicking it right into harm’s way. Kiara almost said that, but figured it wouldn’t make either John B or JJ feel any better. 

Pope groaned. “Am I the only one who thinks this is a terrible idea?”

“Pretty much,” JJ said.

They continued passing the joint around while they waited, and Pope eventually sat down in the chair John B previously occupied, sinking and pulling his hat down over his head, as though it would absolve him of responsibility if someone caught them. He was right—they all knew that—but after the day they all had, smoking in the emergency room was the least of their concerns. 

Suddenly, the curtain opened, and everyone straightened. An older woman with grey-blonde hair tied neatly in a bun walked in, smiling warmly at each of them before her eyes fell on the joint in Kiara’s hand. 

Kiara cleared her throat, putting it out on the arm of Pope’s chair, much to his annoyance. “Sorry.”

“Bored, are we?” The doctor said, walking up to the monitor by the side of JJ’s bed. They gave each other confused looks, and she smiled again. “You’re not in trouble. Just don’t let anyone catch you doing that again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” JJ said, his voice laced with bewilderment. 

“Well, Jonathan,” she started, and it took Kiara a moment to remember that was his real name. “You’re very lucky. We can get your finger back in no time with surgery.”

“Really?” He shot up, eyes wide. “That’s great, Doctor….” Squinting at her name tag, he froze, mouth parted slightly. “Alice Campbell?”

“Yes.” She pulled her attention away from the screen to look at him. “Is there a problem?”

“You were...I work down at Kenny’s.”

Then it finally clicked for Kiara, too. 

“You knew my Nana,” she blurted out. “In high school.”

“Oh, goodness!” Alice’s eyes flickered between the two, and she could see the gears shifting in her mind as her gaze settled on Kiara. “I thought you looked familiar! Spitting image of your grandmother.” She said it with such fondness, it was like she and Nana were new friends instead of old, but Kiara knew they hadn’t spoken to each other in years. 

Then, it was as though Alice snapped out of a daydream, turning her focus back to the monitor. “Let’s get you ready, Jonathan.”

“Hey, Pope,” JJ said. “When this is over, remind me that I owe you twenty bucks.”

***

After moving to the surgery room, JJ didn’t remember much of anything. He knew Kie and the boys went back out to the lobby to wait for him. He knew Dr. Campbell gave him some anesthesia, and heard her talking with the other doctors in the room. After that, complete nothingness. 

Next thing he knew he was awake without having ever realized he was out, and his middle finger was back, but heavily wrapped, and his left arm in a cast. Dr. Campbell gave him medication, told him to take it easy, and dismissed him. 

In the waiting room, JJ was met with three wide grins and they rushed forward to embrace him. When he vocalized his discomfort, they eased up and gave him some space. John B took the bag with the pills while Pope hit JJ with questions he either didn’t understand or couldn’t answer. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to lay in his bed and sleep until the next morning. 

As soon as Kie started the car and left the hospital, he closed his eyes and drifted off. 

“JJ?”

It was Kie’s voice, gentle and soft, that woke him again, as he came to term with his surroundings. He was still in the car, Kie standing outside his door.

“Hey,” she said. “I know you’re exhausted, but let’s just get you inside, okay?”

He grunted, still not fully awake, but she seemed to understand, so he slowly pushed himself up and out of the seat, Kie holding his good arm to steady him. 

Never had JJ been so happy to see the Chateau, his bed practically calling to him through the walls. It was only halfway to the door that he realized Pope and John B weren’t with them.

“Wait...where’s…”

“Pope went to go get some food for you,” she explained. “And John B is back there on the phone. Sarah called a few minutes ago to check in and I was driving so I had him answer.”

JJ smiled. He had a sneaking suspicion John B would be out there for a while.

Even inches away from the door, making it to his bedroom felt like a distant dream now. So when they got inside, Kie helped him fall back onto the couch without splitting his head open on the wall. 

She sat down across from him on the table, reaching into a plastic bag.

“Here are your meds. They’ve got clear instructions on the sticker here, so make sure to read them.”

He pointed at the bottle and laughed. “You’re giving me drugs? Must be my lucky day.”

Kie rolled her eyes. “They’re not _drugs_. They’re prescription painkillers.”

“So, drugs.”

“Whatever,” she said, placing the bottle down next to her. “Just don’t overdose.”

“Got it, chief.” With his good hand, JJ gave her a salute, then dropped his arm. His limbs were like jelly and his eyelids were still heavy with sleep, but he was grateful, at least, to feel nothing at all in his finger instead of excruciating pain. 

“Hey, uh...I’m sorry about today. I probably ruined your Fourth of July,” he said, laughing humorlessly.

“Are you kidding? _I’m_ sorry this happened to you,” Kie said. “Topper and Rafe...all of them....they’re a bunch of selfish assholes. It’s not fair you were the one who ended up in the emergency room.”

“Nothing that hasn’t happened before.” 

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think better of it—probably the lingering effects of the anesthesia talking. But it wasn’t until Kie froze, her eyes bigger than normal, that he fully realized what he just implied.

Desperate to change the subject before she inquired further, JJ said, “But, hey, watching you slap Rafe Cameron kind of makes up for all the shit that happened today.”

She laughed, though her eyes still searched him. “I’ve been wanting to do that for years, but never did for Sarah’s sake. He deserved it, though.”

“I still can’t believe they’re related.”

“I’m still trying to figure it out myself,” she admitted.

“So her and Topper really broke up, huh?”

Kie smirked. “Why, you interested?”

“No more kooks for me, remember?” JJ said, and he thought he caught her smile falter. “I’m interested in getting John B to finally shut up. And he’d probably kill me for saying that.”

“Well, there’s not much he can do while you’re like this.” She reached over and touched his cast to demonstrate. 

JJ laughed, and it was like his body had a mind of his own, because he brought his free hand up to cover hers, their fingers intertwined. Her skin was soft and warm, and when he lifted his head she was already staring at him, her brown eyes almost golden in the setting sun. 

She was vulnerable this way; they both were. JJ knew the spitfire, bristling-around-the-edges Kie. He knew the Kie who liked to have fun, drinking herself to the point of public humiliation or smoking a joint in the emergency room. And he liked all of it, every version. But it was this Kie, the one who dazzled in the early morning glow on a beach, before most of the world was awake—the same one who sat in front of him now—that he wanted more of. 

He thought he saw her start to lean forward, or maybe it was him, but he would never know because the front door burst open and John B walked in. Kie pulled her hand away from him and JJ leaned back against the couch. 

There was a spring in John B’s step, if JJ ever saw one, and he was grinning ear to ear when he approached them. If he saw anything, he made no mention of it.

“Hey, guys! Sarah says hi, and—oh, Kie, here’s your phone.” He handed it to her before continuing. “She says hi and hopes you’re feeling better, JJ.”

“So that’s all you talked about in the, what, twenty minutes you were on the phone?” JJ asked.

John B frowned. “Well, no, but—”

“It’s fine, John B. Thanks,” Kie said and stood up. “Well, uh, I should probably get going. Unless...do you need anything else, JJ?”

Her voice was small, almost shy. Different. 

“Oh, um...I don’t think so,” he said. “I’m pretty tired, so.”

Kie smiled and nodded. “Yeah, you should get some more rest.” Slowly, she walked towards the front door. “I’ll see you guys later?”

“Of course! Thanks, Kie!” John B said, but she wasn’t looking at him.

“Yeah….thanks.”

As she turned around, he closed his eyes, and whispered to himself, “Fuck.” It was stupid, and he didn’t know what he was thinking, or what he wanted to say instead. It didn’t matter, though, because when he opened them again, she was gone.

“You okay, dude?” John B asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m fine.”

But when he fell asleep on the couch, he dreamed about golden brown eyes and walking hand in hand on a shoreline in the glimmer of dawn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting ~spicy~
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated! :)


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